Having been a part of Bleacher Report for a good four months now, I felt it was time to stop analyzing others and pay tribute to ourselves for a second.
Maybe it’s because I’m a nosy person, but reading the bio’s of other writers is entertaining to me. And we certainly have some characters on Bleacher Report.
That said, I spend the majority of my time checking college football and basketball, the NBA, and the NFL pages. My apologies if I have not sufficiently represented the NHL, EPL, and MLB pages.
Without further ado, let’s get to the Bleacher Report Writer Awards nominees. I will refrain from choosing winners. That’s your job.
Best Picture
- Without a doubt, Alberti’s shirtless picture would have won hands-down, but for those who haven’t noticed yet, he recently switched to the mysterious yellow house. Ryan, how could you?
- Trey Bradley: Nothing beats a Mangino picture.
- Eric Brown: Sort of creepy but wins you over. Bio is worth a read, too.
- Andrew Gordon: Like I just got a Nintendo for the first time again.
- Marty Andrade: I have no idea what’s going on here. Apparently I am supposed to know who this is. I unfortunately do not.
- Wes Howard: Again, a little creepy.
- Dave Nemetz: Not funny, but a classic.
Best Bio
- Jux Berg: This dude is hilarious.
- Elisabeth Galina: Some would say long-winded, but worth the read.
- Ben Allaire: A bit eccentric, and the picture adds to it.
- Dave Finocchio: Nice balance of humor and seriousness. Gets assistance from the picture.
- Adnan Tezer: Nobody links a bio and a picture together better. Plus it’s literary, and that’s cool.
- David Boduch: Brief but good. The picture completes it.
- Kevin Brown: Between the picture and the bio, this is good stuff.
- Eric Jackson: What can I say, I like the honesty about this one.
Most Underrated Writer
There is only one candidate: Tim Cary
This guy gave up four days of his life (March Madness Marathon) for Bleacher Report; he writes well; he comments frequently. And only two fans? Shame on Bleacher Report.
Read this man’s stuff!
Nicest Writer
- Jake Widlowski: Not only does this guy write “thanks” every other word, his “Dear Bleacher Report” article single-handedly got the Bleacher Report t-shirt wave started. It has since morphed into a lunchbox line.
- Jay Middleton: The “offensive lineman” of Bleacher Report: does all the work but doesn’t get the glory. Jay is an awesome editor, and always has something good to say about your work, even if it stinks.
- Erick Blasco: Don’t let the quasi-“gang symbol/mean face” picture fool you—Erick will break you off with a “Great article!” or “Thanks so much!” or “I appreciate it!” before you finish posting your article or comment. He’s even been known to drop the “LOL” when the comment is really more of a “I sort of chuckled when I read this.”
- Zander Freund: We all get the posts on our boards and the e-mails, prodding us on to better work, praising us for our efforts, or thanking us. Zander is the guy that makes moms say, “What a nice young man.”
Most Productive Writers
If Bleacher Report had a fantasy team, these guys would be the first picks. These dudes are stat-fillers:
I’d write something about each one, but they would all say the same thing. All of these writers have a ton of articles, comments, and fans. Kudos, gentlemen…
- Sean Crowe, aka SeanMC
Best Comments
These guys not only make comments, they practically write articles within articles. Always ready to give feedback, these two bring it:
- David Williams: David is Mr. Well Rounded of comments, making his way to each page and offering insight.
- Robert H. Spain: Robert’s been on a bit of a hiatus lately, but his comment numbers are still ridiculously high.
I hope I did justice to the site’s contributors. It’s been fun getting to know more and more of you.
My apologies to anyone I forgot.
Feel free to chime in with your own suggestions.
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4 months ago
Eccentric?
I put 10 whole minutes into that bio!
4 months ago
Also, it is an atrocity that you don't know where either my picture or Marty Andrade comes from. Really, Mr. Pollock, you must get out less and spend more time watching cult comedy classics.
4 months ago
Eccentric isn't a bad thing, Mr. Cult Comedy Classic watcher (to which I am atrociously ignorant). Dude, your bio made my list; I have to like it.
from 4 months ago
The man with the knife in his mouth is Will Arnet, aka "Gob" (pronounced Job (pronounced Jobe)) from Arrested Development. One of the funniest dudes out there. One of the funniest shows ever.
I think you knew this, but forgot. That's what I'll tell people.
Thanks for the creepy picture shout out. Look in your backyard sometime. That face might be out there in the bushes, down low.
from 4 months ago
A part of me died a little bit when Fox canceled Arrested Development. Why didn't more people watch it!!!
from 3 months ago
Because the American television viewing population is full of idiots. They love '2 1/2 men' which is nothing more than airplane head-rest comedy.
The writing in AD was genius. Lucille. Loose seal. Bob Lob Law.
I mean, come ON!
from 3 months ago
I hear you, Eric, but to be fair: You are dressed as Merlin the Wizard. I'm just sayin.
from 3 months ago
I have no faith in the American population either. AD was incredibly well-written. Plus my love of random absurdity and bad puns makes the show perfect.
I still remember Gob's ridiculous ventrilliquist puppet cursing out Lucille in front of her husband. The husband goes ahead and starts choking the puppet instead of Gob. So deliciously stupid.
The only comedy I know of with writing that can compare to AD is The Simpsons before 2001.
4 months ago
No love for the young blood? Oh this contest was a fix.
from 3 months ago
i agree, bring out the best young writers category.
4 months ago
I love this article! It forced me to check out all of these people out of curiosity. Thanks for opening my eyes to some great writers! :)
from 4 months ago
Thanks, Heather. That was my goal. I appreciate it.
4 months ago
Nice article, and thanks for the mention. Good idea.
4 months ago
THANK you very much for including me!
Very entertaining article= my pick of the day
4 months ago
Thanks for the mention Tim.
4 months ago
Not just for you, Tim, but I want all the Bleacher Report big-wigs (fat-heads, lazies, ding-dongs, whatever you want to call them) to notice this: They should be called a BRA. The Bleacher Report Awards are the BRAs! I can't wait to win my first BRA.
from 4 months ago
The BRAs...I like it!
from 4 months ago
I'm looking for a lot of support from this year's BRAs.
4 months ago
Thanks for reading my BRAs, everyone (great call on that Michael). And thanks for the picks as well.
4 months ago
Uh oh.. Is it really going to be called the BRAs? Jeeze.. haha
Great work Tim, I enjoyed finding out about some people I haven't seen on this site before.
4 months ago
Knights who say "Ni"
If you didn't know that, it probably means you had a life in college...
from 4 months ago
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is hands down one of the best films ever made...I think most people—those who had lives in college and those who didn't alike—laugh hysterically when they see this brilliant piece of cinema.
Sir Robin ran away...
from 4 months ago
I thought they were the knights who until recently said ni.
from 4 months ago
"...Your father smellz of elderberries..."
random, and funny. Classic.
4 months ago
What an awesome idea Tim. I guess I'll do my usual number and say thanks for putting this all together =)
It's always great to see the heavy hitters and behind-the-scenes guys alike getting their due credit, in addition to exposing some of Bleacher Report's hidden gems, like Tim Cary and his insano coverage of March Madness or Eric Brown's Merlin impersonation in his bio.
So I guess the only question left is: how often do we want to give out BRAs?
4 months ago
I think that Nemetz's picture sucks
from 4 months ago
I had a feeling someone one was going to say that.
4 months ago
No love for the chefs hat/tounge/tank top? Oh, well.
Great idea! This is my pick for the day!
4 months ago
I'm interviewing a professional athlete in my picture and I don't get on here? Psh. :D
4 months ago
what about anonymous for best comments?
from 4 months ago
Ha. Perfect.
4 months ago
I appreciate the kudos on Jay...his is an excellent editor and deserves a lot of credit.
4 months ago
Winning a BRA is the greatest accomplishment of my sad life. I'm so happy!!!
4 months ago
Dude, you won two BRAs.
4 months ago
This was fun. You should make this an annual or semi-annual series.
4 months ago
I want to thank the academy and all the little people. Actually this comment took longer to write than my bio.
4 months ago
Awesome idea. I'll be working hard to win my first BRA when they come out again.
4 months ago
Hey Tim, I am a new guy here only a few weeks and on the NHL side but want to thank you for this article. Even though I don't know all of the people mentioned the fact that you took the time to single out individuals for their contributions is to be commended. See its contagious! Keep up the good work!
4 months ago
Great Article. It has now inspired me to Push my way Up to try and win a BRA in the future.
Too far? Too corny? O well, its posted.
4 months ago
The idea of awards is an awesome one and I hope to see something official soon :)
4 months ago
If the BRA's end up being a democratic process, Tim should get two votes for coming up with it. :>)
3 months ago
Awesome observations, insights and commentary. This sort of recognition for cool stuff is one of the main reasons this blogger is hooked on Bleacher Report. And who knows? Perhaps I will earn a BRA when I grow up! Second thought....not likely.
3 months ago
i think ron johnson should have got a look at the best bio
3 months ago
Well done, Tim. It is an honor to receive my first ever BRA. Since it is basically my job to make long-winded comments on a good amount of articles, here's my acceptance speech:
Ladies and gentlemen of the Bleacher Report community,
Thank you so much for voting for me and Robert for "Best Comments." I may not always know 100% of what your articles were about but chances are, I tried my best to comment and throw in my two cents. My two cents weren't always positive, but I always tried to be as constructive as I could.
The Bleacher Report community has grown so much since I joined last August. I was the 763rd user on BR and I understand it is now over 10,000. Bleacher Report has gone a long way and I hope for its continued success. I have enjoyed the ever-increasing quality of the writing on Bleacher Report and I will do my best to throw in my two cents for what its worth (worth about two cents) on your articles.
Once again thank you, and forgive me for stealing a famous quote from a movie but Good Night, and Good Luck.
-David Williams
P.S. Maybe BRA winners should get Bleacher Report t-shirts. Just throwin that out there...
from 3 months ago
I really like that T-shirt idea David!
3 months ago
I'm gonna come up strong next year and get nominated...that is my goal
3 months ago
I have a rule: any time I'm given an award in an article, it immediately becomes my pick for Article of the Day.
Great job, great idea.
Thanks!!
-Sean
3 months ago
My new goal is to get a BRA! It's actually the same goal I've had since high school.
from 3 months ago
LOL
3 months ago
No love for the newbie over here, I see how it is, lol.
3 months ago
Jux Berg is the shit.
3 months ago
I'm also happy Jay got an award. I think Ryan Alberti needs an award as well. That guy's an editing beast!
3 months ago
Yeah, Alberti is the St. Peter of articles.
from 3 months ago
St. Peter the Rock of the Church...or St. Peter who heard the cock crow three times?
I went to a Catholic elementary school; please excuse the pathos.
3 months ago
St. Peter who sits at the pearly gates.
As in we can't enter BR's pages until you allow us.
from 3 months ago
Okay, I can live with that. If only heaven were an open-source network...
3 months ago
hwats with lil yellow house...it boggles the mind.
from 3 months ago
I'd tell you, but I wouldn't want to spoil the mystery...
3 months ago
an the worst picture winner is you for the photo you put on this article.
god he sucks. bad!
3 months ago
Great article. You have inspired me to write the next BRA winning bio.
3 months ago
I'm a little insulted that I am noted for quantity rather than quality.....
My bio is accurate....so is the picture
3 months ago
where's my tribute. lol
3 months ago
I'm glad my BRAs have taken off so well.
Hey, Zander - Can I patent it? Royalties??? T-shirt?
3 months ago
Thanks so much for the mention! I didn't prepare a speech at all...but it's great motivation to keep writing! I'm loving Bleacher Report -what a great community!
3 months ago
I'm honored. Everything I do, I do for a laugh. Thanks for recognizing that!
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