No Doubt About Cal: Ripken a Shoo-In for the Hall of Fame
Yes, 2006 is just about gone, and I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
While 2007 has yet to rear his head, those of us who love baseball can already celebrate at least one fantastic victory: the election of Cal Ripken, Jr. to the Hall of Fame. That's something everybody can be happy about.
Indeed, the media threw us a bone, and we all pounced upon it like well-trained dogs.
How nice it will be, then, when nobody debates Cal Ripken. He will be elected—and if everyone acts in a reasonable manner, he will be elected unanimously. But since we are talking about a few hundred voters, some wise guy will inevitably rebel and vote "no"...so let's just anticipate this and forgive him in advance. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and issue a statement right now so that the special day can be devoted exclusively to Cal:
Now that that's out of the way, allow me to go on a Ripken-Lovin' rant. I'm not going to sing his praises in order to inform anybody of anything new, mind you—I'm going to shower him with kind superlatives simply because the year 2007 is almost here, and it sure does feel great to act in a positive and life-affirming manner:
Wow, that felt great. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and encourage everybody who reads this to pick somebody and just say nice things about them. Pitchers of the 80s, try saying something nice about Rickey Henderson. You're all happily married with college-aged kids now...there's no shame in admitting how he scared the pants off of you. Heck, it doesn't even have to be about baseball: Democrats, try saying something friendly about the President—you've regained Congress, so there's nothing to worry about...
Okay, I've probably alienated just about everyone who's made it this far. And I don't blame them; I'll probably look back on this piece and wish that I could invent a time machine to kick my own ass. So let me say this one last time, while I'm still somewhat punch-drunk: The only thing better than debating is having an excuse not to argue at all. So thanks, Cal, and happy new year to every last one of you bickering boneheads.
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