Raw's opening promos reminded us that tonight was all about the Slammy Awards, something in which my interest was low and approaching zero.
Before any awards were given out, Rey Mysterio defeated Damien Sandow both quickly and cleanly. In the past few weeks, Wade Barrett and Alberto Del Rio have been conclusively lowered on the card, and now it seems Sandow will be too. Or maybe Mysterio's being raised.
The New Age Outlaws presented the award for Comeback of the Year. I'd be quite happy if they received it next year, but if there's one thing the WWE's got enough competition for, it's the tag team division. Rather than go to worthy contenders Brock Lesnar or Chris Jericho, it instead went to Jerry Lawler, who made a comeback from not being dead to continue not being dead.
AJ and John Cena won Kiss of the Year, which is an injustice to say the least. I'd never vote for one of these awards in a million years (and least of all for Kiss of the Year), but AJ and Kane was surely the only choice.
Ric "TNA" Flair presented the Superstar of the Year award. In another injustice that put the Kiss of the Year award in the shade, it went to John Cena. Again, I ask, what sane person would vote as such? Cena then handed it to Flair, who deserves it—and any award—even less. Watching CM Punk whack Flair with his crutch and mock him was an absolute joy, though sadly, one which didn't last long. Unfortunately, The Shield then fell short of putting him through a table.
Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai, The Great Khali vs. David Otunga and Brodus Clay vs. JTG should have been up for the Biggest Waste of Time Slammy. I'd give the nod to Khali and Otunga, which feels like we've seen it over a dozen times, even though I can't actually be sure it wasn't the first meeting of the two. These matches were so outright appalling and filler that I'd rather there'd not been any at all.
A disastrously poor show looked like it might pick up, as Dolph Ziggler ran in to cash in Money in the Bank. I was thrilled; it was a great development—so sure enough, it didn't happen. Following that, though, at least they did something that should have happened a long time ago and had Ziggler break up with Vickie Guerrero.
Match of the Year was the only Slammy I had any real interest in, because I'm curious to see what the WWE thinks its best wrestling output was as compared with what I think. My personal favourite match of the year was CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan at Over the Limit, but of those that made the WWE's options, only The Big Show vs. Sheamus was even on my radar.
The winner—The Undertaker vs. Triple H—was a match I absolutely detested, but it's outside the purview of this article to explain this seemingly controversial opinion. Compounding the misery, Triple H gave the acceptance speech. He let us know at the end that we'd not seen the last of The Undertaker. In my view, his WrestleMania match should be against John Cena, but I can't see them having the top guy job at two WrestleManias in a row. It's far more likely that it'll be Taker vs. Lesnar.
Raw closed with Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee vs. John Cena and Vickie Guerrero, which wasn't allowed to go anywhere as an NXT guy I'd not heard of (as with all other NXT guys) ran in and attacked Cena. He looks exactly like a black version of Ryback, down to a near-identical singlet.
Raw was the worst episode of television I can recall seeing in my entire life. There was not a single good match or segment, and the two potential hints of greatness—Ric Flair being powerbombed through a table and Dolph Ziggler becoming World Heavyweight Champion—were cruelly snatched away as soon as suggested. It's an extra shame that this disgrace of a show was the immediate follow-up to a terrific PPV the previous night.