The Weirdest Hair in Sports

Photo: Via @CJZero
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

"Spare hair is fair. In fact, hair can be rare. Fred Astaire got no hair, nor does a chair. Nor a chocolate eclaire. And where is the hair on a pear? Nowhere, mon frere! George Carlin, MetroLyrics.com

Sports figures often are known for hair-raising feats on the playing field, but these athletes take that hair-raising part literally! In fact, these players give new meaning to "having a bad hair day."

Now, I don't want to split hairs, but these folks are certainly not follically-challenged. Their outrageous hairstyles are as well known as they are, often trumping even their greatest achievements in sports, leading one to want to "comb" through every detail.

I must admit that these guys turn hair-do's into hair-don'ts! They make hair "style" a misnomer. Stop me before I pun again.

With that in mind, I present to you the weirdest hair in sports. But beware—it may make your own hair stand on end.

But you'd better hurry—it may be hair today, gone tomorrow.

Dennis Rodman

Robert Laberge/Getty Images

Rodman was known as the bad boy of basketball, and he often used his choice of hairstyles as a sort of middle finger to the establishment. However, once Michael Jordan got hold of him, he became a solid citizen, earning the Chicago Bulls another title—although the hair was still the talk of the toddlin' town.

Known as the worm, he probably should have crawled back into the dirt rather than go out in public looking like this. But hey, it was his style.

Then again, he can have that style. But ahem, Dennis, it looked good on you my friend.

Steve Nash

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Nash has been known to change his hair style more often than most women change their minds. In fact, he recently returned to the Los Angeles Lakers lineup and some only wanted to comment on his "Katie Couric–style hair."

While Nash was nursing a fractured fibula, teammate Kobe Bryant resorted to calling Nash "Gatsby" for his 1920s-styled side-part.

You look up the word "greasy" in the nonexistent sports dictionary and you will find the two-time NBA MVP. Yet nobody in the NBA ever rocked a better mullet than this man.

Nash is known as a great passer, but I think I'd pass on some of his hairstyles.

Don King

Elsa/Getty Images

Legendary boxing promoter Don King is known for a lot of things, perhaps most notably the way he bludgeons the English language. But above all, it's his crazy hair that defines the man.

King was associated with legendary bouts, such as the "Thrilla in Manila" and "The Rumble in the Jungle." Come to think of it, it looks like someone held a rumble in his hair!

King used to manage the boxing career of Mike Tyson, who said King is "a wretched, slimy, reptilian....He would kill his own mother for a dollar."

But he has that hair. It's all about the hair.

Andrew Bynum

Photo: Via @CJZero

The Philadelphia 76ers acquired Bynum from the Los Angeles Lakers this offseason as part of the four-team Dwight Howard trade. Since then, Andrew Bynum-spotting has become the latest rage all around Philly, as he seemingly shows up with a different hair style each time.

Of course, "style" is in the eye of the beholder. He's even been seen carrying around a huge stuffed tiger at the King of Prussia Mall and wearing slippers with no socks at a bar.

In fact, the only place Bynum hasn't been spotted is on the court, as he is injured. So he has plenty of time (and money) to be seen and set Twitter abuzz over his perm.

We hear that Bynum is rocking french braids now.  He is just so Andrew Bynum.

Adam Morrison

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Perhaps the only thing worse than Morrison's hairdo is his game. Selected third overall in the 2006 NBA Draft, Morrison has an insulin pump attached to him to help regulate his blood sugar.

Is he sure that pump isn't under his chin?

Antrel Rolle

Kathy Willens/AP

This NFL player and Metta World Peace must share the same barber. I wonder if there is a hidden message in his hair. But if it's the Mayans, tell them their calendar sucks.

Bryce Harper

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

You have to be really good to sport a haircut like this. I hope he only paid his barber half of the cost because she forgot to cut the top.

Kirk Hinrich

photo courtesy of www.siouxcityjournal.com

Hinrich looks like he would fit right in at a Star Trek convention with his Vulcan 'do. With the way he played until recently, the Bulls probably wished he was a Trekkie rather than a basketball player.

When his basketball career is over—and some might say it already is—he could be a Beatles impersonator.

Andre Agassi

Bob Martin/Getty Images

Agassi admitted in his autobiography that he started wearing a wig, which is weird enough. But anyone who blames a key tournament loss over worries about his hair simply has to make this list.

Agassi said he feared that his toupee would fall off during the 1990 French Open. Of course, he also admitted using meth in the book, so maybe that explains the hair loss.

As reported in the New York Daily News, Agassi wrote the following in his book:

"Every morning I would get up and find another piece of my identity on the pillow, in the wash basin, down the plughole. I asked myself, 'You want to wear a toupee? On the tennis court?' I answered myself: 'What else could I do?' "

Damn, he also talks to himself and he even answers back! Now that's talent.

 

Clay Matthews

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Matthews hair is probably appropriate for the style of football he plays—bold and fearless. But if he wasn't wearing a Packers uniform, he could be mistaken for one of the cheerleaders.

A.J. Burnett

Corey Sipkin/News

This MLB pitcher looks like he lost a battle with a rooster. Over the years, Burnett has sported some goofy 'do's and became a blond because he thought he could pitch better.

His fragile personality cannot be saved by continuing to change his look.

Metta World Peace

Stephen Dunn

I guess it shouldn't surprise anyone that a guy who changed his name to Metta World Peace would have miscellaneous symbols carved into his hair. 

The basketball player formerly known as Ron Artest has challenged fans in the stands to a fight, yet it looks as if he lost the fight with this hairdo.

Troy Polamalu

Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

He may be a spokesman for Head & Shoulders, but I think I'd rather have dandruff than look like this.

I may be mistaken, but I believe there may be a family of four living in his hair.

Kevin Grosskreutz

Patrick Stollarz/AFP

Yeah, I'm thinking that if you're going to shave your hair, you may as well shave it all off.

I don't know what this German footballer is drinking in this photo, but I hope it's hair tonic for his sake.

Mark Davis

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Alright, he's not an athlete but he is part of the sports world, as he is the son of former Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis. While his father was known for delusional decisions late in his tenure, his son is only known for questionable decisions regarding his hairstyle.

I mean, what in the hell is this guy thinking? He looks like Captain Kangaroo, for crying out loud. As fans on the East Coast and in the Midwest may recall, at least Bob Keeshan got paid to look like this.

This guy is a multimillionaire and he chooses to look like this?

Jaromir Jagr

Al Messerschmidt/Getty

If Steve Nash has rocked the best mullet in professional sports, Jagr may have the worst one. Business in the front, party in the back? Maybe, but it's one party I don't want to be invited to!

Don't get me wrong, I love long hair but that's a bit TOO much party going on there. Of course, with the NHL season in jeopardy what else does he have to do?

Venus Williams

Photo By STF/Mark Humphrey

This hairdo takes patriotism to a level that I am not quite comfortable with. While Venus has been a great tennis player, her choice of hair styles has been questionable, to say the least.

Maybe she actually got this hairdo on the planet of Venus, because it's out of this world!

George Rose

Mark Kolbe/Getty

This professional rugby player takes narcissism to new levels by carving in his own name on the back of his head.

At least he spelled it right. With a guy like this you never know!

Joakim Noah

Chris McGrath/Getty Images

With a clown-like appearance, when his NBA career is over he should be a hit at children's parties.

Noah wins by a "hair" over some other NBA players. Still, his play is better than his choice of quaff.

Coco Crisp

Ben Margot/AP

Good thing he's wearing that hat or his head may have exploded!

In his defense, however, he has one of the best names in all of sports! Why do I get a taste for cereal whenever I hear his name?

Of course, those could be ear muffs he's wearing. Hair muffs, anyone?

Kimbo Slice

www.mansambition.blogspot.com

At least he rocks an awesome beard, but what's with the balding head and braids?