Christmas Gifts for Every Big 12 Team

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We're in a giving mood this year, so why not put a call in to Santa and have him fill up all the Big 12 teams' Christmas stockings with stuff they really need?

There will be no ugly Christmas sweater, fruitcake, light-up tie or underwear—the elves have been working hard to come up with the perfect gift for each team.

Feel free to add your own stocking stuffer suggestions via comments. 

Kansas Jayhawks

Kansas head coach Charlie Weis
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This year, the Kansas Jayhawks are getting a few gifts from Santa. 

Since Kansas finished last in the league in total offense, a new playbook devoid of any schematic advantages seems like the perfect gift—the trick plays should remain in the playbook since they worked so well against Kansas State.

The biggest gift is a 2013 bowl berth. It's been four years since Mark Mangino led the Jayhawks to an Insight Bowl victory over Minnesota. 

Iowa State Cyclones

Iowa State coach Paul Rhoads
John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

Iowa State plays in the league of quarterbacks, but the Cyclones really haven't landed that "big gunslinger" in Ames. 

Wrapped up with a big red bow is a Top 10-rated quarterback prospect who commits to the Cyclones.

West Virginia Mountaineers

West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen
Patrick McDermott/Getty Images

West Virginia's defense looked like one giant hole this season.

Santa is bringing to Morgantown The Little Dutch Boy who, according to author Mary Mapes Dodge, saved a town in Holland from a flooding disaster by plugging a hole in a dike with his finger. 

Believe. 

Texas Tech Red Raiders

Texas Tech coach Kliff Kingsbury
Thomas Campbell-USA TODAY Sports

Lubbock, Texas is now welcoming its fifth coach in three years to Texas Tech—even Pitt fans are raising their eyebrows.

Since December 30, 2009, Mike Leach, Ruffin McNeill (interim), Tommy Tuberville, Chris Thomsen (interim) and Kliff Kingsbury have all worn or will have worn the head coaching cap at Texas Tech.

Santa and his elves are removing the coaching carousel from Lubbock as their Christmas present to the fine folks and fans there. 

Texas Christian Horned Frogs

TCU coach Gary Patterson
Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

TCU head coach Gary Patterson endured a tough year after a drug scandal and the departure of quarterback Casey Pachall rocked his team.

The Horned Frogs have been on the cusp of a BCS Championship game berth before, but this Christmas they need an uplifting gift to get them through the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl (vs. Michigan State). 

Santa will ensure that quarterback Trevone Boykin has a 400-yard game with four touchdowns and zero interceptions since no one wants to be "that team" that lost to a Big Ten team in a bowl.

Baylor Bears

Baylor coach Art Briles
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

The obvious gift here would be a stout defense, but honestly, Baylor football wouldn't be as exciting as it is if the defense played more consistently. Moreover, the defense did a pretty good job against Kansas State, didn't it?

Santa's gift to Baylor is giving the school its second Heisman winner (in three years!) in running back Lache Seastrunk. 

Nothing says "Merry Christmas" more than thumbing your nose at all the other Texas schools who haven't produced a Heisman winner since 1998. 

Oklahoma State Cowboys

Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy
Cooper Neill/Getty Images

Santa and his elves collaborated with Rudolph—who has never been injured in hundreds of years of flying—and they developed a vaccination that prevents injuries. 

It offers three years of immunity protection so head coach Mike Gundy might want to throw on some latex gloves and start vaccinating his quarterbacks and receivers ASAP.  

Texas Longhorns

Texas coach Mack Brown
Scott Sewell-USA TODAY Sports

The Longhorns' burnt orange stockings will be filled with 4- and 5-star defensive lineman recruits galore. 

None of them know how to do a "flip" and they all sign their scholarship contracts on Signing Day. 

Oklahoma Sooners

Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops
Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

Granting Christmas wishes can be daunting at times but the Sooners' Christmas present will be one for the ages: A big Sooner Boomer whipping of Texas A&M in the Alamo Bowl.

What better gift is there than Big Game Bob's Sooners destroying an SEC team that defected from his own conference for greener pastures?  

It's the gift that keeps on giving for the next 12 months.  

Kansas State Wildcats

Kansas State coach Bill Snyder
Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

Santa will be dropping off more purple stealth bomber-like, anti-radar uniforms for the 2013 recruiting class—currently ranked No. 55 on Scout.com—so the Wildcats can continue to fly under the radar and shock college football analysts, pundits, fans and basically, the world.