The Doctor's SmackDown Recap: The 113 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistDecember 15, 2012

Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 113 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. The narrator is back this week for the opening recap video.
2. I was hopeful when last week's show had no narration in the opening video. Those hopes were just dashed.
3. Antonio Cesaro and Sheamus are already at the commentary table when the show kicks off, and their opponents for TLC will be facing off in a match.
4. I think Truth needs some new music. I know this song is attached to him because he used to rap to it during his entrance, but there is just something about it I don't like.
5. It kind of sounds like the soundtrack to Dynasty Warriors 4.
6. Big Show uses his power to take control of the match early.
7. Sheamus tries, and fails, to tell a joke about his grandfather's donkey.
8. Some guy in the front row by the commentary table seems to get Big Show's attention for a second with his trash talk.
9. Big Show and Truth go to the outside with the fight, and Truth runs right into a huge chest chop from Big Show.
10. Show gets back in the ring, and Cesaro removes his headset to stand over Truth.
11. Sheamus steps in and shoves Cesaro so he won't attack Truth and tells him to sit his ass back down.
12. Truth gets brought back in the hard way, and I can't help but notice that guy in the front row again. He is being louder than anyone else while yelling at Big Show.
13. Guys like him are one of the few reasons live shows can have their downsides. I will give this guy credit for pretending it is actually Friday when this was taped and telling Show he has 48 hours till Sheamus beats him.
14. Truth hits the big scissor kick for a two count.
15. Show throws him across the ring and then hits the knockout punch for the pin and the win.
16. Show goes outside the ring after the match and challenges Sheamus to hit him.
17. Cesaro runs Sheamus into Big Show, and Show says he's going to use that to get the match cancelled at TLC.
18. Does anyone know if Sheamus dyes his hair and/or beard? The shade changes sometimes, and I can't tell if I'm crazy or he just uses Just For Men.
19. Truth got in some decent offense in that match, but nobody was surprised to see him take the loss and going into a pay-per-view with a loss is not making it look like he will take the title from Cesaro.

20. Big Show is backstage with Booker, and Booker tells him that the match is still on.
21. The way Show complains about his shoulder is sort of funny.
22. Damien Sandow has a mic! Thank you, WWE.
23. Sandow says his search for an apprentice has been futile.
24. Haha! The way he said "Therefore" was hilarious for some reason.
25. This guy climbs higher and higher on my list of favorite superstars every week.
26. He brings out Cody Rhodes, making sure to give his mustache its own mention.
27. He kind of looks like a "Villain of the Week" on some '80s cop show.
28. The Usos forgo their usual entrance ritual when they come out to face Rhodes Scholars.
29. I want the Usos to get a push. They are WWE's only brother team right now and should capitalize on that.
30. I wonder if WWE will mention how Roman Reigns and The Usos are related. I think they are second cousins. Reigns is first cousins with Rikishi I believe. I could be wrong. That family tree is huge. Rhodes Scholars got the win.

31. We return from a break to the match already in progress, and JBL plugs the WWE app so people can listen during the breaks.
32. Does Josh Mathews really not know who Freddie Mercury is?
33. So far JBL has called out Cody Rhodes, Clark Gable and Freddie Mercury.
34. Could he have picked any two more different celebrity names than Mercury and Gable?
35. David Otunga is backstage with Big Show and says the contract should stand and Big Show should not have to wrestle Sheamus at TLC.
36. They want to do something public to make sure the match gets cancelled.
37. WWE should try and get Otunga his own flavor of coffee at Starbucks as a cross-promotional deal.
38. WWE could replace his trademark mugs with Starbucks cups for a month or so and make a joke or two about it.
39. I am available for a job interview anytime you want, WWE.
40. Or at least a cut of the profits if you use that idea.
41. Don't blame me for shilling. I got bills that need paying.
42. After the break, Otunga and Show are in the ring calling for the match to be cancelled.
43. I swear, David Otunga looks more and more like Alfonso Ribiero every week.
44. Booker comes out and tells them to go ahead and waste their time going to the board of directors.
45. Sheamus comes out with a chair in his hand, gets a mic and says if the match is called off then he will attack Big Show with the chair right now.
46. Big Show looks scared at the prospect of facing another series of chair shots from Sheamus, ends up saying the contract is still valid and then leaves the ring quickly.
47. I guess this means the match is still on. JBL is ecstatic.
48. Otunga eats a Brogue Kick from Sheamus to end the segment.

49. After the break, we see The Shield attacking Randy Orton backstage after having apparently put him through a table.
50. Aksana and Kaitlyn are in the ring for a match.
51. Aksana's outfit makes me wonder if it is possible to be jealous of spandex.
52. This match is literally one long headlock from Aksana. Kaitlyn gets the win out of nowhere.
53. Why the hell is a small portion of the crowd chanting Rey Mysterio's name? Is that what we chant instead of "Boring" these days?
54. Rey Mysterio! Rey Mysterio! Rey Mysterio!
55. Matt Striker is saying Randy Orton has separated his shoulder and possibly has a concussion.
56. Is this how they explain his Tribute to the Troops injury?  
57. At least he didn't have a match at the PPV. Vince might have killed someone if two top stars had to bow out of matches before the event from injuries.
58. Realizing Orton didn't have a scheduled match at the PPV makes me realize how much he has really taken a backseat to other superstars recently.

59. Miz is in the ring for MizTV and he brings out Daniel Bryan and Kane, who seem like they are finally on the same page.
60. Bryan says that all his anger will come out on Sunday during the TLC match.
61. Bryan's beard is truly impressive. It takes dedication to keep that going. Trust me, I have had a beard not much shorter than that before.
62. Kane says he and Bryan will love every second they are beating down The Shield.
63. The Shield come on the big screen with their Blair Witch camera and talk about justice some more.
64. Kane tells them to come to the ring. Roman Reigns says they will, and they walk away from the camera.
65. The Shield come out through the crowd, and Bryan and Kane clear the ring of the MizTV set.
66. Ryback's music hits, and he comes to the ring, making the Shield stop in their tracks halfway through the crowd.
67. The segment ends with nobody fighting.

68. After the break, Khali comes out with Hornswoggle and Natalya, who is just there for support. I will be shocked if JBL makes it through this match without calling Hornswoggle a Hobbit.
69. I weep for Natalya with this storyline.
70. There will be an eight-man tag match with Khali and Horny teaming with Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd to take on Prime Time Players and Epico and Primo.
71. I love how Titus screams before Khali hits him with the big chop. He really sold it.
72. Hornswoggle gets the tag and gets taken down by Titus with a big clothesline. Well, as big of a clothesline as he can give Hornswoggle.
73. JBL and Mathews' banter about references from different eras is more entertaining than this match has been so far.
74. The problem with matches like this is that they don't have enough time to properly feature everyone and end up having people spend very little time in the ring.
75. Rosa gets taken down on the outside by Nattie.
76. The babyfaces get the win with Kidd getting the pin on Primo.
77. The best spots in this segment happen after the match is over with Kidd and Gabriel hitting twin dives onto their opponents.
78. Kidd and Gabriel hit dual flips off the ropes to end the segment.

79. Kofi Kingston and Alberto Del Rio face off in a match after the break.
80. Del Rio and Kofi trade some offense early on.
81. Kofi gets a near fall after a beautiful dropkick.
82. Kofi hits a few signatures before locking in a front facelock.
83. After a break, we see Del Rio controlling the match.
84. Del Rio jumps up and stomps on the back of Kofi's head in a way that looked like there was no way it didn't hurt Kofi a little bit.
85. Kofi gets the win over Del Rio, and after the match, Wade Barrett tries to attack him.
86. Kofi avoids the attack and hits the Trouble in Paradise to take him down.
87. That was a decent match. Nothing too special.
88. We get a backstage segment with Sheamus and William Regal.
89. Anytime William Regal is on the show, I am happy.
90. Regal tells Sheamus to avoid Big Show until the PPV and not to take Cesaro lightly in their match tonight.

91. We get a plug for the Slammy awards during Raw next week.
92. Sheamus is out first for the main event against Cesaro.
93. This should be a good match. These two have a a lot of similar qualities while having two totally different styles.
94. The Swiss Sensation and The Celtic Warrior lock up and have a bit of a power struggle to gain control.
95. Cesaro hits a shoulder block to put Sheamus down and hits the first offensive move in the match.
96. Sheamus gets control of the match and goes to work on the arm of Cesaro.
97. Mathews mentions how both Sheamus and JBL have held Cesaro's US title, and JBL puts over Cesaro as being a great champion.
98. Sheamus hits the rolling senton for a near fall.
99. Cesaro reverses the momentum and grounds Sheamus with a hammerlock.
100. Cesaro hits a European uppercut to the back of Sheamus' head for a two count.
101. Cesaro picks up Sheamus for his delayed throw, and the crowd barely makes a sound.
102. Even with editing, this crowd seems a little dead tonight.
103. As Sheamus builds up a head of steam, we see Big Show drag William Regal out on the ramp and Sheamus goes up to see what is happening.
104. Regal tells Sheamus not to let Show get to him right before Show hits Regal in the back with the chair.
105. Sheamus gets counted out as he tends to his fallen friend while trying to restrain himself from going after Big Show.
106. The show ends with Sheamus looking extremely pissed off or constipated. It was hard to tell.
107. I have to give WWE credit. The way that final segment came off was interesting.
108. The way Regal begged Sheamus to hold back before being taken out right in Sheamus' arms seemed like something out of a movie and not a wrestling show.
109. Regal sold everything perfectly, which probably helped.
110. As the final show before TLC, I think WWE did a decent job of addressing all the storylines leading into the PPV but the show itself was only so-so.
111. None of the matches really popped for me, and the crowd seemed to feel the same way at points throughout the night.
112. I was somewhat expecting WWE to have some kind of message appear before the show addressing the terrible shooting in Connecticut on Friday morning, especially since this was filmed less than 20 miles from Newtown only three days ago. With how little time they had between this morning and this show, it was probably not something they could pull off.
113. Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts on the show below.


I just want to take a moment and send my sincere condolences to those who lost loved ones during the tragic events of Friday morning and I pray for the full recovery of those injured. If you have kids make sure to give them an extra hug when you tuck them in tonight.