Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports
In 1983, a four-year-old James Harrison curiously chucked a floaty at an approaching fin in the water, provoking a great-white beeline toward the helpless child. The shark homed in on its prey, unclenched its starving jaws and was greeted with a thunderous uppercutting sledgehammer that James Harrison nicknamed "fist."
And that's how the punch-a-shark-in-the-snout myth originated.
Okay, that may have been a lie. But James Harrison is the last person you want to mess with on this side of the hemisphere (assuming Shaolin Monks still scoff at taking drills to the temple).
Harrison epitomizes fearlessness.
If you left him alone in the jungle, a week later you would come back to find a man untying cobra-head-knotted shoelaces and sweating acid after curling a redwood that moonlights as Paul Bunyan's toothpick. (Yes, redwoods grow in the jungle for this slide.)
If he moved into the neighborhood, Deebo's front lawn would have an ADT sign speared in it.
Google takes a smoke break when searching for a picture of him smiling.
In a four-year span (2007–2010), the tenacious undrafted linebacker forced 25 fumbles. Rest assured, the lion's share of those didn't stem from strips, but cannonball-meets-crash-dummy collisions.
James Harrison's unparalleled punishment traumatizes people long after it's handed out. Ask Ryan Fitzpatrick—one of his victims—who confessed, "He hit me so hard last year, every time I play golf, I think about him 'cause I can feel it every time I swing."
Stats provided by Pro-Football-Reference.com.