Roy Nelson is on the left. I don't know who that other dude is.
Gather 'round, children. Gather 'round. The Church of Roy is now in session.
We all know Roy Nelson well by now. Scorned by many, loved by more. A hero to all his beer-bellied, burger-bombing, bird-nest-bearded brethren around this great land of ours.
But it's more than just the fact that he's a successful professional pugilist in a bowling league body. There's also the fact that he's weird and annoying. To make that many enemies, to succeed almost in spite of oneself, takes some seriously thick skin—no pun intended.
It's the most inspiring mess I've ever seen in a man this side of The Big Lebowski. There may be something wrong with Roy Nelson. And something so right.
He's also fighting fellow weirdo Matt Mitrione this Saturday at the finale of the latest season of The Ultimate Fighter. Nelson was going to fight Shane Carwin, a big, serious, muscle-bound dude who thoroughly disapproved of Roy and his slovenly, devil-may-care lifestyle. Carwin was going to teach Roy a thing or two about Respect. About Excellence. About The Value of Hard Work. But then he got injured.
Regardless, here are eight of the greatest hymns from The Church of Roy.
Wherein he ribboned his mullet for the weigh-in.
Early in this TUF season, Team Nelson gained the right to pick the next matchup. How did Nelson do it? Style matchups? Satisfying a team member's need for vengeance?
No, he just had them draw straws.
In the same episode, after a Team Nelson member lost, Nelson raised a concern with UFC president Dana White that there had been some improprieties with the pre-fight weigh-in. Of course, he brought this up after the fight. The timing prompted White to observe that "you can't fix stupid."
I don't think Dana White likes Roy Nelson very much.
Look at that mane. It's all long and gray at the edges. How can you look at that and not think there were squirrels living in it? In the eyes of a squirrel, that's like a penthouse condominium.
He got himself all gussied up after besting Cro Cop. He even got hisself a suit.
I bet it really freaks out the squares to see how nicely Nelson cleans up. I mean, think about it. They could pass this guy on the street without realizing they had just walked past a big, fat weirdo!
After defeating the immortal Kimbo Slice, Nelson credited Burger King for the W. I smell a lifetime supply of chicken fries.
The win, by the way, was just one Nelson notched on the way to winning season 10 of The Ultimate Fighter.
Both men got in some great jabs. But the exchange mirrored almost exactly what the two men would be like as opposite coaches on TUF, and provided some nice free hype as well. Roy Nelson's always been good for the latter.
Roy Nelson and Dana White really dislike each other. I thought the vitriol came mostly from White's side, but then Nelson offered to get in the cage with him.
It's cool, though. I'm sure Dana just calmly took it in stride. Oh, Roy, with your antics. When will you ever learn?