If Randy Couture comes looking for a fight, Steven Seagal guarantees that only one man will walk out.
The growing feud between the martial arts legends stems from a joke Couture made during an appearance on G4TV's "Attack of Show" (via MMAWeekly.com).
According to Couture, a bout against Seagal is the only fight that would intrigue him enough to come out of retirement. Seagal didn't take the challenge lightly, and he accepted the fight during a phone interview with MMAFighting's Ariel Helwani on The MMA Hour.
Unfortunately, the proposed bout would have strict conditions.
According to Seagal, the fight would be no-holds barred and take place in a location where there are no witnesses.
This is a complete bummer for MMA fans hoping to see Sensei Seagal suck in the gut and throw on a pair of four-ounce gloves for his UFC debut.
In all seriousness, Seagal comes from a legitimate martial arts background. As a seventh-degree black belt in Aikido, he serves as a personal mentor to MMA legends Anderson Silva and Lyoto Machida.
If the dream fight came to fruition, is there a chance Seagal does the unthinkable and upsets Couture?
Yes, we are actually going there.
Here is the head-to-toe breakdown of the proposed dream fight between UFC Hall of Famer Randy Couture and Hollywood action star Steven Seagal.
Age has certainly taken its toll on Couture's chin, but his boxing has steadily improved over the years.
Couture is a master at closing the distance, cinching the single-collar tie and utilizing his dirty boxing.
This strategy has helped him defeat some of the biggest names in MMA and solidify his legendary status.
Seagal, on the other hand, would be forced to lean on techniques outside of Aikido, which isn't an art predicated on causing physical harm to an attacker.
In a cage, Seagal would get picked to pieces by Couture, who is the more athletic and efficient striker.
In a dark alley or bar, it could be a different story with the possibility of biting, scratching and flying projectiles.
Luckily, Couture is completely bald, which eliminates any possibility of hair pulling.
Unless Seagal has picked up techniques no one knows about, the grappling department would be a huge area of concern.
Couture, who is one of the best wrestlers in MMA history, would have his way with Seagal in a ground fight.
It's tough seeing Seagal amount any takedown defense, seeing as he typically stands in the same spot when fighting.
Still, Couture shouldn't get overconfident.
Seagal has connections with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu legend Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. Surely he could find time to teach the Sensei a little Jiu-Jitsu 101.
It would be highly embarrassing to see Couture shoot in for a takedown, only to get caught by an unexpected guillotine choke.
Seagal may be above the law and hard to kill, but Couture is a former UFC heavyweight and light heavyweight champion.
There should definitely be a certain level of respect for Seagal, who is a legitimate martial arts master.
Unfortunately, he just isn't well-rounded enough to actually consider stepping into the Octagon against an MMA legend.
Unless Seagal miraculously lands "The Kick," this journalist is banking on Couture by first round knockout.