New Orleans' auto sales whiz Tom Benson should stick to the business transactions that have netted the 85-year-old a cool $1.2 billion (according to The Forbes 400 report from September 2012).
Because crafting team names for professional sports franchises is clearly a road better left untraveled by the Benson family.
Granted, the Hornets nickname was adopted by the city after the former Charlotte franchise moved to the Crescent City in 2002. So giving the franchise a New Orleans-style facelift isn't the worst idea.
But how can a makeover go so terribly wrong?
Look, I get it. The Pelicans are the state bird of Louisiana. But if every team followed that train of thought we'd be stuck buying Miami Northern Mockingbirds jerseys or Sacramento California Valley Quail shirts. (Kidding, of course. No one's buying any Sacramento gear—Maloofs included.)
Not to mention that New Orleans has such a unique and rich history that there had to be more creative options available. Just look at the names of the city's other teams: the Saints (NFL), Green Wave (Tulane), VooDoo (Arena Football League), Blues (ABA), Zephyrs (minor league baseball) and Half Moons (rugby).
All more colorful and more unique than the bland Pelicans.
With regard to the name change, one thing is for sure. If the world of Twitter (the official 2012 court of public opinion) had any say in the matter, this clearly never would have happened.
There's been shock:
Wow... I got nothing for you on Pelicans...for two days I heard how name and color change would really change the culture -- terrible— Steve Kyler (@stevekylerNBA) December 5, 2012
There's been no shortage of corny jokes:
Remember, you can't spell Pelicans without I cans!— Royce Webb, ESPN NBA (@RoyceWebb) December 5, 2012
There's even been some attempted rationalization:
Two of the oldest baseball franchises are named after socks.— Eric Freeman (@freemaneric) December 5, 2012
The possibilities for colorful promotions or rally cries are endless:
The New Orleans Pelicans will crap on the competition. #Sorry— InsideHoops.com (@InsideHoops) December 5, 2012
Then again, maybe there was some unspoken inspiration for the team's new nickname. Maybe this whole state bird thing is just a big cover up:
The New Orleans' new logo has Anthony Davis' Angry Birds style unibrow— Heat vs Haters (@HeatvsHaters) December 5, 2012
Are we all making too much of this? In terms of professional sports teams, is this really the worst name we've ever heard? Probably not:
The Lakers have proven that having a serious, sensible, or intimidating name is completely unnecessary.— Eric Freeman (@freemaneric) December 5, 2012
It's certainly going to take some getting used to. Regardless of how special Anthony Davis proves to be, I can't imagine the Pelicans to suddenly be the driving force in merchandise sales.
I'll give Benson credit for this: Pelicans was probably the better choice over Krewe or Brass.
I'll let you all decide just how much of a compliment that really is.