NFL

Brandon Marshall Claims Some Players Use Viagra to Boost On-Field Performance

CHICAGO, IL - NOVEMBER 25: Brandon Marshall #15 of the Chicago Bears runs after a catch as Erin Henderson #50 of the Minnesota Vikings pursues at Soldier Field on November 25, 2012 in Chicago, Illinois. The Bears defeated the Vikings 28-10. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistNovember 28, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen, Brandon Marshall of the Chicago Bears has now taken the notion of performance-enhancing drugs in sports to a whole new level.

You see, Mr. Marshall believes some NFL players may be taking Viagra, of all things, before games. 

Seriously.

From Brad Biggs of the Chicago Tribune:

#Bears WR Brandon Marshall says he has heard of players taking Viagra to help as a performance enhancer on the field. Can't make this up.

— Brad Biggs (@BradBiggs) November 28, 2012

Marshall didn't mention whether NFL players also enjoy a cigarette and spooning after the game. There's a Jay Cutler joke somewhere in here, but it's not coming to me. 

But why would athletes take Viagra? What are the benefits? I have a few theories, none of which are scientifically feasible in any way.

Perhaps it increases endurance.

And hey, it could be an accuracy thing for quarterbacks, who of course practice their throwing motion each week on a swinging tire.

But beyond all of the other jokes I would like to make in this regard—more than a few were left on the cutting-room floor, trust me—I find myself terribly curious as to the real reason that athletes pop Viagra. Michael David Smith of Pro Football Talk helps in that regard:

Marshall isn’t the first to hear about that: A 2008 Slate article noted that Viagra works by dilating blood vessels and increasing oxygenation, which means it could improve athletic performance, particularly at elevation. If you’re playing a game in Denver—where Marshall spent his first four NFL seasons—and you want to reduce the effects of playing at altitude on your body, popping a Viagra could help.

Well, I suppose that makes sense. Still, the side effects could potentially be very embarrassing. Let's just say "encroachment" would mean something entirely different in this case.

I'm sure we will hear plenty more about this throughout the week. Mike Ditka, of all people, could use it as his entry into the "C'mon Man" segment of Monday Night Countdown. That should garner a few chuckles.

Truly, this is one of the stranger things I've written about in quite some time. I guess it's better than accidentally drinking Adderall.

And with that, I'm out.

 

Hit me up on Twitter—if my tweets cause erections that last longer than six hours, please consult your physician.

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