Most, if not all, NFL cheerleading squads produce and sell their own swimsuit calendars just in time for the holiday shopping season. Naturally, they are all stunning, so the ranking is almost arbitrary on this list.
Unfortunately, some squads have better websites and photos available than others, so they weren't all available for ranking. But I was able to spend more hours than I care to admit scouring the interwebs to bring you the top 12 NFL Cheerleader swimsuit calendars currently for sale.
I've also included quite a healthy sampling of photos, just so you know what you're getting into, should you choose to purchase a calendar for the lovely lady lovers in your life this year. That sounded weird, didn't it?
Anyway. Let's get started, and perhaps by the end of this list, you will have completed your holiday shopping in one fell swoop. Assuming you're only shopping for your dad and frat bros.
If you want to pick up the Sea-Gals calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: That former vice-presidential nominee and the former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, as well as the "First Dude" Todd Palin, are both Seahawks fans. They have been known to tailgate in their hometown of Wasilla with local youth.
Did You Know: The Seahawks traded for future Hall of Fame wide receiver Steve Largent for an eighth-round pick in 1977. He played all 13 seasons of his career in Seattle and went on to become a U.S. congressman.
Did You Know: The Seahawks were named via a fan contest. In 1975 ownership solicited entries from fans and received more than 20,000. The best 151 suggestions were plucked and then judged by team ownership.
Did You Know: The Seahawks are the only team in the NFL to have played in both the AFC and the NFC championship game.
If you want to pick up the Ben-Gals calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Only two Bengals in NFL history were ever named the league's Most Valuable Player: Quarterbacks Ken Anderson in 1981 and Boomer Esiason in 1988—both of whom have been inducted into the Bengals Hall of Fame.
Did You Know: The following behavior is prohibited on game day: Public indecency, possession of firearms, illegal behavior and interfering with other fans' ability to enjoy the game.
Did You Know: The Bengals were founded in 1966 as a franchise in the American Football League.
Did You Know: In 2012, former Ben-Gals cheerleader Sarah Jones was unable to return to the sidelines because she had been fired from her job as a teacher and plead guilty to sexual assault of one of her students. The two are currently still an item.
Did You Know: As the owner of the Bengals, it took Mike Brown just 314 games to lose 200—breaking the record held by the former owner of the Falcons, Rankin Smith, who did it in 327 games.
Did You Know: Most professional sports teams have their share of celebrity fans; the Bengals are no exception. Actors Wood Harrelson, George Clooney and Gary Owen, as well as reality types Carmen Electra and Nick Lachey are all Bengals fans.
Did You Know: A Bengal wasn't inducted inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame until 1998. Anthony Muñoz, who was selected in the first round out of USC in 1980, is often listed among the greatest offensive tackles in NFL history.
Did You Know: The Bengals' mascot is a tiger named "Who Dey," based on the chant that can be heard at Paul Brown Stadium on game day: "Who dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?"
Did You Know: The Bengals have played in two championship games: Super Bowl XVI and Super Bowl XXIII. They lost them both to the 49ers. Ouch.
Did You Know: The Bengals' record for longest run from scrimmage belongs to retired running back Corey Dillon. In October 2011, Dillon's 96-yard run set the record.
If you want to pick up the ROAR calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: The NFL gave birth to the Jaguars on November 30, 1993—its 30th franchise. Take that all you idiot families with 20 kids on reality TV…the NFL is kicking your you-know-what in football babies.
Did You Know: Someone who likes the Jaguars made a list of Jag trivia and listed quarterback Mark Brunell as the second-best player in franchise history. No wonder they're going to be gone within years.
Did You Know: When the Jaguars were added to the NFL via expansion, they were the first team to be added to the league since the Seahawks and Buccaneers in 1976.
Did You Know: Despite a lengthy current reign of absolute futility, the Jaguars actually made the playoffs four of their first five seasons, twice making it to the AFC Championship game only to lose the Patriots and Titans, respectively.
Did You Know: The original Jaguar logo closely resembled the hood ornament on the mid-life crisis mobile of the same name. So, in order to avoid any potential lawsuits and other litigious unpleasantries, they altered it.
If you want to pick up the Falcons Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Deion "Prime Time" Sanders is often remembered for his days in a Cowboy uniform, but he was drafted by the Falcons in 1989 and played the first four seasons of his Hall of Fame career in Atlanta.
Did You Know: Brett Favre was drafted by the Falcons with the 33rd overall pick in the 1991 NFL draft. He never started a game in Atlanta and finished the season with five passing attempts (no completions and two interceptions). Favre was traded to the Packers the following season.
Did You Know: The Falcons lost their live falcon mascot in 1966. The bird apparently escaped after getting freaked out during practice and was later found chilling out on the roof of a local factory.
Did You Know: Texans defensive coordinator and former Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips actually served as interim head coach for the Falcons in 2003 after Dan Reeves was fired with three games left in the season.
Did You Know: When the Falcons made their debut in 1966, their helmets had a black strip surrounded by two gold stripes and two red stripes, representing the two football powerhouses already in the neighborhood: Georgia Tech and the University of Georgia.
Did You Know: The Falcons are owned by billionaire businessman Arthur Blank, who co-founded The Home Depot—a store I've been lost and bewildered in dozens of times in my adult life. That place needs a map and a tour guide.
Did You Know: The Falcons haven't exactly produced a lot of Hall of Fame players. The only player in the HOF who played more than two seasons in Atlanta is Deion Sanders. Something tells me that will be changing in the decades ahead.
If you want to pick up the Ravens Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: The great Barry Sanders played his final game in the NFL against Baltimore. The Ravens held the running back to 41 rushing yards. An unfortunate sendoff for a legend, but that's just how the Ravens do it.
Did You Know: The first Ravens logo that was used from 1996-98 was likely stolen and based on a sketch that was found faxed to the Maryland Stadium Authority. The artist was never credited with the logo and the Ravens redesigned it in 1999.
Did You Know: Former Steelers quarterback Kordell Stewart hilariously won the Special Teams Player of the Week award in 2003. He was filling in at the time for the Ravens' injured punter.
Did You Know: Someone made an "official" list of the top five Ravens of all time in recent years and failed to include linebacker Ray Lewis and safety Ed Reed, both future Hall of Famers. If you want to make fun of it, click here.
If you want to pick up the Titans Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: In 2000, the Titans won their Wild-Card playoff game against the Buffalo Bills in final 16 seconds when tight end Frank Wychek lateraled to receiver Kevin Dyson on a kickoff, who then scampered down the field for the winning score. The “Music City Miracle” is just another chapter in the tortured history of the Buffalo Bills.
Did You Know: The Houston Oilers were the first professional football team to play in a dome. This means they were also the first domed team to get questioned for their decision after each postseason loss.
Did You Know: Head coach Mike Munchak has the distinction of not only being a former Titans player, but the first player to have been a part of the Titans and the original Oilers franchise. He’s probably happy that the change didn’t result in the team mascot becoming the Oily Titans—or maybe he’s disappointed?
Did You Know: Legendary franchise quarterback Warren Moon played one of the opposing coaches in the movie Any Given Sunday.
Did You Know: The late Steve McNair threw more touchdown passes (32) to Derrick Mason over the course of his career than to any other player.
Did You Know: Former Titans coach Bum Phillips was known for wearing a large cowboy hat on the sideline each Sunday. However, he never wore it in games played indoors, because of his mother once told him that it was impolite.
If you want to pick up the Broncos Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: The Broncos' Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway was almost not a Bronco. He was initially drafted by the Colts, but threatened to leave and play baseball for the Yankees if he was not traded. He went on to play his entire career in Denver.
Did You Know: In a situation that we've seen repeated in recent years, in 1985 the Broncos went an impressive 11-5 and missed the playoffs. The Browns, who had won their division at 8-8, earned a spot in the playoffs the same year.
Did You Know: Quarterback Bubby Brister gets a lot of flack for…ya know…sucking. But in 1998 a John Elway injury led him to five-game starting stint for the Broncos, in which he was a perfect 5-0.
Did You Know: Former quarterback Craig Morton became the first at his position to start a Super Bowl for two teams: the Broncos and Cowboys.
Did You Know: The first Broncos player to be elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame was cornerback Willie Brown. He played with the team for four seasons from 1963-66.
Did You Know: Upon his retirement, Broncos quarterback John Elway had passed for more than 3,000 yards 12 times in his career. It was an epic achievement that had never been done before.
Did You Know: The last touchdown pass that John Elway threw in the NFL came in the waning moments of Super Bowl XXXIII. It was an 80-yard strike to wide receiver Rod Smith in a a game the Broncos won. Talk about going out on a high note.
Did You Know: You've probably seen the throwbacks, but the Broncos' original uniforms were brown pants and helmets, mustard yellow and white jerseys and striped socks. They were so loathed by fans that they were changed two seasons later…yet they still wear them on occasion.
If you want to pick up the Eagles Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Former Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham is one of three franchise quarterbacks who are unnamed in the cult classic NES game, Tecmo Super Bowl. Cunningham, Jim Kelly and Bernie Kosar are listed as QB Eagles, QB Bills and QB Browns.
Did You Know: During World War II, the Eagles and the Steelers were unable to fill their respective stadiums or even field a full team and merged for a single season. The "Steagles" lasted just one season.
Did You Know: The Eagles joined the NFL as an expansion team in 1931. Created from the broken remnants of the bankrupt Frankford Yellow Jackets, the Eagles’ namesake was inspired by the “Blue Eagle” insignia from President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s New Deal work program.
Did You Know: Mark Walberg played former Eagles player Vince Papale in the 2006 film Invincible. The movie recounts how Papale earned a spot on the team at age 30 after a private workout for then-head coach Dick Vermeil in 1976.
Did You Know: Actor and..um…hip-hop artist of yore, Will Smith, is a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan. A native of the City of Brotherly Love, Smith hasn’t let the siren-call of Hollywood weaken his ties to the team.
Did You Know: In December 1968, frustrated Eagles fans pelted Santa Claus with snowballs and booed him. While Philadelphia sports fans are renowned for their restraint and hospitality, they pelted a man dressed as Santa Claus during a Christmas-themed halftime show during the final game of a season when the team finished 2-12.
Did You Know: Monosyllabically named brothers and former NFL quarterbacks Ty and Koy Detmer both started at the position for the Eagles during their careers. There is an unconfirmed rumor (that I made up) they were known together as “T-Koy.”
If you want to pick up the Dolphins Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Believe it or not, the Dolphins were the first team to appear in three consecutive Super Bowls.
Did You Know: The opening scenes of Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday featuring Dennis Quaid playing an aging quarterback were actually filmed in the home of Dan Marino.
Did You Know: When the Dolphins came into existence, there was a lot of discussion about what the name of the team would be. The Mariners, Marauders, Mustangs, Missiles, Sharks and Suns were all suggested. But it was the dolphin that ran away with the competition.
Did You Know: The Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders were founded in 1978 and were then known as the Starbrites. At the time, they were sponsored by Starbrite Car Polish.
Did You Know: Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino led the Dolphins to Super Bow XIX in just his second season. Unfortunately, they ran into the buzzsaw known as the 49ers and he never made it back to the Big Show.
Did You Know: As you may recall from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Dolphins once had a live dolphin mascot that lived in a tank at the open end of the Orange Bowl.
Did You Know: The 1972 Dolphins are the only team in the history of the NFL to have finished an undefeated season and gone on to win the Super Bowl.
Did You Know: Dolphins head coach Don Shula's stint in Miami lasted an epic 26 seasons. During that time, his teams had just two losing seasons in 26 years.
Did You Know: The Dolphins were first team to have two players win the AP Comeback Player of the Year Award. Earl Morrall won in 1972 and Larry Csonka in 1979.
If you want to pick up the Colts Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: In his rookie season in 1998, former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning threw a league-high 28 interceptions, but he also set five rookie records; passing for 3,739 yards and 26 touchdowns. The Colts finished 3-13, but Manning went on to become the most prolific passer in team history.
Did You Know: Colts cheerleader Megan M. volunteered to have her head shaved at this Sunday’s game with the Buffalo Bills, if fans donated a least $10,000 toward leukemia research. Head coach Chuck Pagano was recently diagnosed with a treatable form of leukemia.
Did You Know: The Colts are one of only three dome-based teams to win a Super Bowl. The others are the St. Louis Rams and New Orleans Saints.
Did You Know: Colts owner Jim Irsay is a prolific user of Twitter. His candid, whimsical observations include insights like, “I hired “The Gimp” from Pulp Fiction 2 clean my reading glasses; he lives in a trap-door in my Owners Suite, but also does my grocery shopping.”
Did You Know: Legendary quarterback Johnny Unitas’ record-setting streak of consecutive games with a touchdown pass ended at 47, when he failed to throw a touchdown pass in a 10-3 loss to Los Angeles on December 11, 1960. This NFL record stood until October 4, 2012, when New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees threw a touchdown in his 48th consecutive game.
Did You Know: Former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning set 30 franchise records as the Colts quarterback before he was released in 2012. Backup Curtis Painter set no records in limited action during the 2011-2012 season.
Did You Know: In 1946, the bankrupt Miami Seahawks franchise moved to Baltimore and was renamed the team the Colts through a fan contest. The team won its first game, beating the Brooklyn Dodgers 16-7 before 27,418 fans at Baltimore Stadium.
Did You Know: Colts mascot “Blue” has his own personal bio that is filled with grandiose delusions and downright hyperbole. He claims to have career filled with “awesomeness” and “ground-breaking humor,” while also “ruling over a vast kingdom.” Blue might be schizophrenic.
Did You Know: The Colts are only the second team, after the Los Angeles/Oakland Raiders, to win Super Bowls for two cities.
Did You Know: On March 29, 1984, then-owner Robert Irsay moved the franchise from Baltimore to Indianapolis during the early morning hours, shocking fans and the sports media. Irsay’s son Jim, the current franchise owner, was named general manager and vice president after the relocation.
If you want to pick up the Redskins Cheerleaders' calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Before they were the Washington Redskins, they were the Boston Braves for four years in the 1930s. They became the Washington Redskins in 1937.
Did You Know: The Redskins are the proud owners of the worst defeat in NFL history. In 1940, they lost to the Bears 73-0.
Did You Know: The Redskins may have been on the receiving end of the worst defeat in NFL history, but they also won the highest-scoring game in league history. The Skins defeated the Giants 72-41 in November of 1966.
Did You Know: If you want to take in a Redskins game at FedEx Field, you might want to leave the following prohibited items behind: Illegal drugs, weapons, firearms, folding chairs, jugs, coolers and a packed lunch.
Did You Know: The (ironically named) Redskins refused to integrate their team for a number of years before finally allowing black players on the team in 1962. As a result, they were threatened with eviction from their stadium by the then Secretary of the Interior Stewart Udall.
Did You Know: Redskins Hall of Fame running back John Riggins was the second player in the NFL to score 100 rushing touchdowns. The first was Cleveland Browns legend, and movie legend, Jim Brown.
Did You Know: The Redskins won their first championship their first season in Washington, D.C. After moving from Boston, the Skins won the NFL Championship in 1937.
Did You Know: The Redskins had a Patriots-esque run from 1936-45, finishing first in their division an impressive six times.
Did You Know: The Redskins actually have four head coaches in the Hall of Fame, believe it or not! Joe Gibbs, George Allen, Ray Flaherty and Wayne Miller.
If you want to pick up the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader calendar this holiday season for the hot broad lover in your life: Click here...and tell 'em Amber Lee sent you.
Did You Know: Jerry Jones made his fortune in oil and gas exploration during the 1970s and 1980s. He purchased the struggling Dallas Cowboys and Texas Stadium for $140 million in 1989.
Did You Know: Before their inaugural season in 1960, the Dallas Cowboys were almost named the Dallas Steers. The team finished its first season without a win.
Did You Know: In a 2003 poll conducted by Sports Illustrated for the publication 50th anniversary, Jerry Jones was voted the “Most Hated Person in Sports” by three states—Virginia, Delaware and Texas.
Did You Know: Owner and GM Jerry Jones was co-captain of the Arkansas Razorbacks’ 1964 national championship team. One of Jones' teammates was future Cowboys coach and two-time Super Bowl winner Jimmy Johnson.
Did You Know: The original Cowboys cheerleading squad was made up of male and female high school students and was known as CowBelles & Beaux until 1969.
Did You Know: Founding Cowboys president and GM Tex Schramm created the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Schramm, who passed away in 2003, was with the Cowboys from 1960-1989. He left after the team was bought by Jerry Jones.
Did You Know: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, a reality show that airs on Country Music Television, just finished its seventh season. The program follows the progress of women auditioning to become part of the team, as well as team activities like the annual calendar shoot.
Did You Know: “Rowdy” has been the official Dallas Cowboys mascot since 1996. “Crazy Ray” was the team's unofficial mascot from 1962 until his death in 2007.
Did You Know: The Dallas Cowboys have reached eight Super Bowls, winning five, with their last appearance in Super Bowl XXX in 1996. In that game, the Cowboys were victorious over the Pittsburgh Steelers, a team which had beaten them in Super Bowls X and XIII.
Did You Know: Former Cowboys offensive lineman Nate Newton was arrested in 2001 when he was caught with 213 pounds of marijuana in his vehicle. Five weeks after the incident, he was arrested again for attempting to transport 175 pounds of marijuana in his car.
Because we both seem to share an affinity for cheerleader swimsuit calendars, you should probably follow me, Amber Lee, on Twitter. Follow @blamberr