America, I am not thankful for your taste in dinner guests. Seriously, you really blew this one. How could you possibly say you would rather have Thanksgiving dinner with Tim Tebow than the President of the United States, Barack Obama?
According to the survey, conducted by Nielsen, when asked who they would like to have as a Thanksgiving dinner guest, more Americans preferred Tim Tebow to President Obama.
The survey, released today by Destination America, shows that 23 percent of people in the United States said they would prefer the Jets backup to the Commander in Chief, who only garnered five percent of the vote.
Obama was also edged out by Big Bird and Lady Gaga.
I don't even know where to begin. More people in this country would rather have a backup quarterback, a fictional character and Lady Gaga over for turkey than the leader of the free world. I'm fairly certain this means the end is near.
Listen, this goes beyond just political ties. I wasn't the world's biggest fan of George W. Bush—that may or may not be the biggest understatement ever—but I would have rather dined with him than Billy Volek, or Kermit the Frog, or the Backstreet Boys.
Though to be fair, meeting either Big Bird or Kermit the Frog would be pretty sweet.
But c'mon, Tebow? It's not that I have anything against the guy, but do you really think he would be that interesting of a dinner guest?
For one, you know he wouldn't have the accuracy to properly carve the turkey. There would be chunks of bird flying all over the place. For another, he would keep asking you to "pass the Wildcat," which would be novel once or twice but prove to be a poor excuse for a joke after that.
And he'd probably invite Rex Ryan, and there goes the leftovers.
The only thing I can't figure out is who voted in this. I have two guesses: It was only girls from the ages 8-18, or Skip Bayless rigged the results. These are the only acceptable scenarios.
America, I'm not proud of you right now. I know this is some silly little poll, but you totally blew it nonetheless. What's next, a poll saying you would rather meet Snooki for drinks instead of Warren Buffet?
Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets predict crazy things like Baylor upsets. Seriously.