Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my huge and all-new eighth week of ECW! I know all of you were probably a little disappointed about my show only having one match last week, but that isn't going to be the case today.
If you guys would like to catch up on all of the happenings so far on Raw, search for Greg Bush's profile.
For Smackdown, check out the guy who started this whole series, Ray Bogusz' profile.
For TNA, check out Kevin Canny's profile.
And last, but certainly not least, for the Highlight Reel, check out AkD's profile.
Now it's time for what you've all been waiting for:
ECW: A New Era of Extreme!
A video recap plays of the dramatic return of Paul Heyman as the new General Manager of ECW. It then shows the vicious beatdown of the newest inductee of the Extreme Hall of Fame, Sandman.
The video then goes to slow-mo to show the beatdown of Paul Heyman at the hands of Team Swagger. All of a sudden, Tommy Dreamer's music hits, and it shows him making a beeline to the ring. Video then shows a split-screen of Dreamer and Swagger.
The opening video and music plays. (The video has been updated to show Rob Van Dam and Paul Heyman in it.)
The pyro goes off as we are welcomed by Todd Grisham. Matt Striker is standing alone inside the ring.
Todd: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to another extreme installment of ECW! I am your host for tonight, Todd Grisham, and I will soon be joined by my partner Matt Striker, who is in the ring. Let's hear what he's about to say.
Matt: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ECW! I am Matt Striker and I have very big news for all of you! Paul Heyman has just named two more inductees to the Extreme Hall Of Fame! It is my pleasure to introduce to you all... Joey Styles and Tazz!
(Tazz's music hits as he and Styles make their way to the ring, shaking hands of the ECW fans along the way.)
Styles: First of all, I just want to thank Paul Heyman for giving me a shot in ECW to begin with. An...
(Mark Henry's theme hits; he and Paul Birchall make their way to the ring.)
Henry: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I just hear you thank Paul Heyman for giving you a shot in ECW? You should be thanking our ECW Heavyweight Champion, Jack Swagger! You should be thanking him because he has yet to come out here and beat the living hell out of you and your midget of a friend here, Tazz! Ha-ha!
(The crowd booes him loudly as he is starting to generate almost as much heat as Vickie Guererro herself. Tazz begins to take off his jacket and loosen his cuff-links. The crowd chants, "Tazz is gonna kill you, Tazz is gonna kill you!")
Henry: Wait a minute you half-grown, pint-sized, cartoon character! Ha-ha! Are you looking to be taken out by and my boy Burchill right now? Okay, then fine, I...
(Paul Heyman's music hits and he comes strolling down to the ring.)
Heyman: If you lay a single finger on either of my ECW originals, I will have you suspended indefinitely! Since you guys attacked ECW Original Sabu, jumped me last week, pretty much destroyed my huge main event, and beat my ECW Original Sandman within an inch of his life, you will be punished right here tonight.
(The crowd gets hyped as they're ready to see what Heyman has in store for them.)
Heyman: Tonight in a two-on-two tag team match, you guys will take on Ricky Ortiz and Finlay! Not only that, but that tag match is an Extreme Rules match!
(The live audience pops big!)
Heyman: And as for your little leader, The All American Bitch, Jack Swagger, he will be put in a tables match against non other than our best friend, the Innovator of Violence, The Hardcore Legend himself, Tommy Dreamer!
(The crowd is on their feet and Henry's jaw is dropped. Burchill grabs the mic.)
Burchill: Fine it's on, we all accept! But just know this, we are not going to be held responsible for any injuries that we cause to your little lines of defense tonight. After we're done with them, you're next!
Heyman: Is that a threat you're making, Mr. Burchill? If so that's pretty ballsy of you, but I wouldn't be so confident if I were you. Your sister is planning on something huge, and her boyfriend doesn't seem to happy with either of you. He will be here very soon though, when you least expect it.
Heyman's theme hits as he, Tazz, and Styles leave the ring. We cut to commercial.
We return with Henry and Burchill hyping each other up the ring.
Finlay's music hits and he along with Ortiz come sprinting to the ring.
Tag Team Extreme Rules Match:
Team Swagger (Mark Henry and Paul Burchill) vs. Finlay and Ricky Ortiz
All men square off with the faces getting the better of the heels. Ortiz clotheslines Burchill out of the ring.
Henry is cornered inside the turnbuckle with Finlay pummeling him with right and left closed fists. Ortiz bounces off of the ropes and dives over the top rope right onto Burchill.
Henry finally musters up some strength and pushes Finlay off of him. Finlay rushes back towards him, but Henry catches him and picks him up for a Bear hug. He has Finlay tightly within his grasp.
Ortiz has a chair and hits Henry in the back of the legs with it. Henry releases Finlay and falls to his knees. Finlay grabs him by his head and DDT's him.
He goes for the cover. 1..2.. Henry kicks out. Finlay mounts him and starts to whale on him with right hands.
Ortiz has Henry's left leg and puts it inside the chair. Finlay stands up and holds Henry's leg in place. Ortiz climbs to the top rope and signals for a Super Big O, but Burchill comes out of nowhere and pushes him off all the way to the arena floor.
Finlay runs over to Burchill and brings him in the ring the hard way. Burchill stumbles to his feet and gets taken down hard with a huge clothesline from Finlay.
Finlay then hits his signature jumping seated senton. As soon as he gets back to his feet, Mark Henry comes charging for him, but Finlay catches him with a drop toe-hold.
Finlay then bounces off of the ropes and hits a huge drop kick to Henry's face. Henry rolls out of the ring to recuperate. Finlay bounces off of the ropes and then hits a suicide dive onto Henry. Finlay stands up and smile at the live crowd as we cut to commercial.
We return with Mark Henry and Paul Burchill double teaming Ricky Ortiz. They hit a double suplex on him. Finlay slowly gets up and Burchill hits him with a chair shot. He then goes for the cover. 1..2.. Finlay kicks out.
Mark Henry yells to Burchill to get a table. Burchill gets a table and sets it up in the middle of the ring. The camera shows Otriz putting something in his mouth, but Henry and Burchill doesn't see.
They get Finlay up to his feet and throws him off of the ropes and goes for a double high body drop onto the tabel, but Ortiz quickly move the table out of the way.
Henry turns around and tries to attack Ortiz, but Ortiz spits out some green mist into Henry's eyes. Burchill runs to him, but he ducks the shot and hits a drop kick. Ortiz pumps up the crowd more and more.
Finlay gets up and hits Henry in the face with his shellaleigh. Henry falls out of the ring hard. Finlay then gets Burchill and hits his "Celtic Cross."
Ortiz climbs to the top rope and then hits the "Super Big O!" He goes for the cover 1-2-3! Finlay and Ortiz just destroyed Team Swagger!
Finlay and Ortiz celebrate inside the ring for a small while until Swagger's face appeared onto the Titantron.
Swagger: Great job, boys! You really handled yourselves pretty well out there, but tell me this: Did you expect your night to go off without a hitch?
(The camera zooms out and shows that Swagger has Hornswoggle. The live audience looks in fear as they are afraid for Horswoggle.)
Swagger: Finlay, you really did a number on Burchill and Henry so I said to myself: Why not do the same to Horny himself? Ha-ha!
(Finlay looks livid as Ortiz tries to hold him back.)
Swagger: Oh yeah Ortiz, don't get too worried, because I have your little slut of a girlfriend here, Tiffany.
(The camera goes to the right of Swagger and shows Tiffany all tied up with tape over her mouth.)
Swagger: Just know that when it's all said and done, I will remain the ECW champion after Wrestlemania. What I'm about to do to your little loved one is going to be on Paul Heyman's hands!
We cut to commercial.
We return with Jaime Noble in the ring.
Noble: Now I am sick and tired of not getting any recognition here in the WWE! I have more talent coming out of my own puke than any of those guys backstage or inside the entire WWE.
Now I want to make an open challenge tonight against anyone who thinks that they have more talent then me right now. I wanna see who has the balls to do it!
(No one comes out.)
Noble: I knew it! So Mr. Heyman, get your ass out here and crown me the new ECW champion right now!
(All of a sudden John Morrison and the Miz's theme hits and they come down to the ring.)
Morrison: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Dirt Sheet! To all men: I am your significant other's dream and your worst enemy, John Morrison.
Noble: Hey, ya'll are interrupting me, I...
Miz: And I am your biggest crush, the main event in your bedrooms, and to the chick magnet wannabe's out there, I'm your No. 1 ass kicker, The Miz. And we will be your great hosts for this evening!
Noble: Okay, since ya'll are ignoring me, I guess I'm just going to have to kick some pretty boy ass tonight. I...
Miz: Hey man, did you just hear that?
Morrison: Yeah... I think so... Hey lady in the second row... no not you, fatso! I'm talking to the hot one. Did you just ask me out? Sorry honey, I don't date second-rate ass-trash! I'm a A-List Superstar baby and if you want this ride, You have to be at least a 10 in my books.
You look like a negative 6 to me though, but this ugly gremlin I know named Hurricane Helms might want a night with ya! Ha-ha! Never mind, I doubt even the Boogeyman would date you!
(Noble charges towards Miz, but Morrison lays him out with the slammy.)
Miz: Huh! Gasp! There was a hillbilly behind me? Who would've thought of that one huh?
Morrison: It was? I didn't even see him there, I was just swinging my trophy in the air because I knew that I was going to win the Money In The Bank Match at Wrestlemania!
Miz: Hold your horses there bro, because its going to be me to win the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at Wrestlemania!
(All of a sudden R-Truth and Hurricane Helms come running out to attack Miz and Morrison.)
R-Truth hits a spinning lariat onto Miz, knocking him down. Morrison turns around to high-tail it, but he gets hit with a huge superkick from Helms.
Miz rolls out of the ring in retreat, but R-Truth and Helms still have Morrison alone in the ring. R-Truth hits his scissors kick. Miz cringes as if he felt that one. Morrison slowly begins to rise, but Helms hits his signature shining wizard on him. Knocking him completely out.
(R-Truth's theme hits, as he and Helms stare each other down and then they both look at that downed Morrison and then at the Miz. Who will win the Money In The Bank Match at Wrestlemania 25?)
We cut to commercial.
We return with a video package showing highlghts of what had just happened. Then we go to some highlights of the old days of ECW. They then run down the list of inductees.
1. Terry Funk
3. Joey Styles
We return to Tony Chimel who is standing in the ring.
Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please join me in welcoming the General Manager Of ECW, Paul Heyman!
(Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring.)
Heyman: Thank you, loyal ECW fans, for that amazing welcome.
(The fans are now chanting, "ECW, ECW, ECW!")
Heyman: I have some huge news to share with you. In next week's main event, it will be Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, and Paul Burchill taking on Finlay, Ricky Ortiz, and Tommy Dreamer in an elimination six-man tag-team extreme rules match!
(There's a huge pop for that announcement.)
Heyman: Let the main event begin!
(All of a sudden, Jack Swagger's music hits and he comes to the ring smiling as if he has a plan up his sleeve.)
Then Tommy comes out next and he has the bat at hand, but unfortunately fans, it isn't flaming.
Main Event Match:
One-on-One Tables Match
Jack Swagger vs Tommy Dreamer
Both men start to talk smack to each other and slowlystart to approach each other. They get into each other's faces continue mouthing each other off. Swagger shoves Dreamer.
Dreamer retaliates and start delivering huge right handed blows to the face of Swagger. Dreamer runs and bounces off of the ropes and tries to go for a clothesline, but Swagger ducks it and hits a huge knee shot to the sternum, taking Dreamer down.
He looks to the crowd and smiles as we cut to our final commercial break.
We return with both men on the outside and Swagger has Dreamer laying on the announce table and he's pummeling him with right handed shots to the head of Dreamer.
Swagger then gets a chair and looks to be getting ready to hit Dreamer on his stomach, but Dreamer kicks the chair back into the face of Swagger.
Swagger stumbles backwards and ends up leaning across the other announce table. Dreamer stands up ontop of the table ans hits a flying Lou Thesz Press from one table to the next onto Swagger, but he doesn't go through the table. Dreamer starts hitting him in the head with closed-fist shots.
Dreamer gets up to pander to the crowd. He turns his attention back to Swagger, but Swagger pulls out this small bag from his left boot and throws it into Dreamer's eyes.
Dreamer panics and starts to wipe his eye furiously, but Swagger charges and spears Dreamer into the turnbuckle post.
Swagger gets up and gets a table. He slides it into the ring and sets it up. Swagger then goes to the outside of the ring and gets the downed Dreamer.
He rolls him into the ring and throws him up against the turnbuckle. Swagger hits him about three times. He sets Dreamer up on the top rope and hits him again for good measure.
Swagger climbs up and tries to go for a superplex onto the set-up table, but Dreamer reverses with some headbutts, sending Swagger crashing down to the mat.
Dreamer Stands up on the top rope and tries to go for a flying cross body, but Swagger reverses it into powerslam through the table! Its all over! Swagger has just defeated Tommy Dreamer!
Swagger looks at Heyman whilt he holds his title in the air.
All of a sudden, out come Finlay and Ortiz, but Swagger escapes through the crowd with both men following him. The cameras show him meeting up with Team Swagger and getting into the limo right before Finlay and Ortiz could catch up to him. Finlay screams in sadness.
Finlay: Give me back my son! I'll kill you! Give me back my son!
He cries as the show goes off of the air.