Alex Rodriguez: Confessions of a Damned Moron

Max Jet FanContributor IMarch 18, 2009

A-ROD, the man, the myth, the moron.

I remember like it was yesterday, the three top prospect shortstops (In no particular order maybe):

1. Alex Rodriguez
2. Derek Jeter
3. Noman Garciaparra

FYI: Noman is not a typo; he is no man in my eyes, he's more brittle than my Great Grandmother with her advanced osteoporosis. I am not a big city doctor, or a doctor at all for that matter, but that's brittle. Anyway, back to my point.

My how the mighty have fallen, and I really wish it wasn't true but alas it is so. All during his life, he was the anointed one, but now his life is a train wreck off the tracks barreling down all good memories we once had.

The latest A-ROD blunder as I'm sure you've heard, his interview and dainty picture shoot with Details magazine. Photos seen here, CLICK ME.

I can honestly say I don't what the truth is anymore with A-ROID, A-FRAUD, A-SHRIVELED PAIR OF TESTICLES, and A-MORON. I want to believe he only used steroids during his confessed years, I also want to believe he never injected Madonna with A-ROD juice.

Unfortunately, we all know both are not the case—why doesn't he just volunteer to be a STD case study?

Who can MLB fans across the world put their savior of baseball faith in? Albert Pujols who adamantly exclaimed follow and watch me, in a quite Palmeiroesque way. How about Manny Ramirez, umm no thanks that guy is a schmuck.

In the background of all this nonsense and needles and tiny shriveled testicles I hold solace in one player. Ken Griffey Jr., he may not break the records but he still has some impressive stats, and oh my what a beautiful swing.

Here are some quickies, 2,680 hits, 503 doubles, 38 triples, 1,772 RBI, and 611 clean as a whistle home runs. The only downside is that Griffey hates they Yankees because they wouldn't let him in the clubhouse as a kid. Maybe he and Cutler can hang out.

I wish A-ROD would just try or one of the moochers in his life tell him to keep his mouth shut.

Here is another beauty and I quote, "We live in a world right now where everyone's keeping score. And it doesn't stop when the games end...They've crossed over. And you have the Internet stuff, and all these phones...It's very intense."

Insightful is not the word, the Mensa Society should be contacting him very soon. What are these phones he speaks of. So I can get rid of my telegraph now?

Another great quote: “Winners live in the present tense. People who come up short are consumed with future or past. I want to be living in the now.” Summing up this quote, please don't look into my past it's filled with lies and cheating who wants to hear that stuff.

Basically I have no point, just ranting and raving because I'm still a little shocked at how tainted A-ROD is now. What do we do with the HR record now?