Brock Lesnar can do many things.
He can fight. He can hurt people. He can generate tremendous heat from the crowd.
Have you ever noticed, though, that the one thing Lesnar does not do much in WWE is cut long promos on the microphone?
There is a good reason for that. The guy cannot talk.
It’s not that Lesnar is mute. He just has zero mic skills.
Lesnar’s voice sounds like that of a four-pack-a-day smoker. His vocal delivery comes across as extremely strained. It almost is painful to listen to him.
It's like he is channeling The Macho Man Randy Savage whenever he talks. Savage was a great wrestler, but his voice could make your ears bleed...
That’s not all Lesnar’s fault. We all are not born with the voice of the guy on the Allstate commercials.
But there are such things as training and polishing. And apparently, there is not enough polish in the world for Lesnar.
Sure, he’s OK in brief spurts, but longer promos from him are akin to nails on a chalkboard or hands squeaking on a balloon.
Granted, most big guys in wrestling are not known for their vocal prowess. With the exception of the Big Show and possibly Kane, most of the bigger guys could not cut a promo with a Ginsu knife.
Look at Andre the Giant, Yokozuna and The Great Khali. Lions in the ring but kittens on the mic.
You cannot blame their thick accents for that. Alberto Del Rio has one of the thickest accents around, but his mic skills are somewhat decent.
It is a good thing Vince McMahon hires big guys for their strength and not their oratorical abilities.
That is why Lesnar and Paul Heyman are the perfect pair. Heyman is the best non-wrestling talker in the trade. He can do with words what Lesnar does with opponents.
When Lesnar comes back, either at WWE Survivor Series 2012 or on a future program, he just needs to tick a lock.
I’m not saying Lesnar has to stand in the ring and grunt like a caveman. If he has something to say, let him say it—just as long as it is not more than five sentences long.
Let Paul Heyman do the heavy talking, and leave the heavy lifting to Lesnar.
His mere presence says more to the WWE Universe than any words ever could.
Follow Bill Atkinson on Twitter at @BAtkinson1963.