Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Doug Martin has one of the best nicknames in the NFL. He's the "Muscle Hamster." Just like Martin, there are hundreds of players in the NFL with nicknames given to them by fellow players, announcers, fans and family throughout the years.
From "Matty Ice" Ryan to "Big Ben" Roethlisberger to "The Samoan Headhunter" Troy Polamalu, the nicknames in the NFL are wild and rampant.
The top five nicknames in the NFL today are going to fit all three of the main staples that make a nickname great: They have to be simple, effective and creative.
It's so simple that it's brilliant: The Law Firm.
BenJarvus Green-Ellis is a group of four names that feel like they are randomly thrown together similar to most law firms. It's no shock that the nickname has stuck as Green-Ellis has proven that he can—pardon the cheesy pun—lay down the law.
The irony of the nickname is that Green-Ellis could end up with his own law firm one day, as it was once reported by the New York Times that he was originally going to head to law school after college. (h/t Deadspin's Jack Dickey).
The Law Firm Attorney at Law has a nice, ridiculously redundant ring to it.
While his more common nicknames are "All Day" or "A.D.", Adrian Peterson has been amazing for his entire career in the NFL and deserving of his multiple nicknames.
It took a gruesome knee injury to stop him from gaining 1,000 yards in the only season he wasn't able to eclipse the mark. And even then, he still had 970 in just 12 games. However, the reason why he is now dubbed "Purple Jesus" is twofold.
One, he is on pace to put up career highs in yards and yards per carry. And two, he is one of the most violent runners in the NFL despite being less than a year removed from a horrific knee injury.
His talent at running back isn't surpassed by anyone in the NFL today, and there are only legends that can be compared to the longtime Viking. "Purple Jesus" just fits.
J.J. Watt is the best defensive player in the NFL today.
His 10.5 sacks don't do enough justice to his true talent as the best 3-4 defensive end since Bruce Smith was playing in Buffalo. He's electric on the field and can turn a game around with his defensive plays.
Some Texans fans have wanted to call him "J.J. Swatt" due to his high number of pass deflections. However, my colleague, Ian Kenyon, has dubbed him with a better nickname: "The Electrician."
This was based not just on how a Watt is a measure of electricity, but also how effective and efficient the likely Pro Bowl player is on the field.
When a guy gives himself his own nickname, it can be great or it can be awful. In the case of Martellus Bennett, it's so terribly hilarious that it's hard to tell if it's good or bad.
He said it originally in passing as part of a description of his new physique to ESPN's Ohm Youngmisuk back in August.
Now, while Bennett hasn't been the best tight end in the league, he's already had the best season of his career. He's also on a one-year contract and is looking to end up with a long-term home by the end of this year.
The "Black Unicorn" may be in the running for most insane nickname today. However, it's definitely one of the best in the league.
Give it up for the best nickname in football.
"The Muscle Hamster" Doug Martin earned his nickname in college because he was one of the smaller players on the team, yet he was jacked like a bodybuilder (via NFL.com).
He's used his strength and speed to show that he is one of the best running backs in the league this year and that the nickname isn't misplaced.
However, he despises the nickname. So from here on out, let's just call him the "Dougernaut."
Scott Carasik is a Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report. He covers the Atlanta Falcons, NFL and NFL draft. He is also the Falcons analyst at Drafttek, runs the NFL draft website ScarDraft.com and hosts Kvetching Draftniks Radio.