(If you haven't got a clue what I'm talking about, read this.)
10. If Manny had said it was a simple case of "hammy being hammy".
9. If there were any real follow-up questions asked by the lame L.A. media
8. If Manny had actually gotten some idiots to sign him for five years at $25 million per.
7. If the Dodgers factored into the life of an east coast baseball fan...ever.
6. If Scott Boras was present for this press conference.
5. If Scott Boras had been beaten bloody by Dodger fans just after the press conference.
4. If Manny had giggled and/or cried during this press conference.
3. If Manny's current contract had a "dumbest thing ever uttered" clause.
2. If it had included a photo of the look on Frank McCort's face when he heard Manny's quote.
1. If Manny had signed with the Yankees.