It's Week 10 in the NFL, and by now, some of you may be feeling that your team is not horrible.
That line of thinking, like your wardrobe choice, would be a terrible mistake.
I'm not cynical, and it's certainly not pessimism; it's just that your team is literally one of the worst institutions known to man. After the Huns and possibly the IRS, your team is the biggest blight on Western civilization I can think of. Each week, the only thing that gives us solace that your favorite team still exists is that it is destined to lose.
So, in a way, your favorite team's loss is a gift to the rest of mankind. Yes, we revel in your pain, and yes, we do so joyously because it is your pain. Your grief gives us a respite from the horror that is your favorite team. Also, if you could possibly wear one of those "my team sucks" paper bags, that would be great too, because we'd rather not look at your face.
So, what will give us joy this week? Why will your team lose?