Athletes, They're Just Like Us!
Athletes, at least the ones who haven't recently filed for bankruptcy, seem to have it all these days. They get to make a living doing something that many of us spend our whole lives doing for free. Actually, they don't just make a living; they're generally paid out the nose.
Athletes get all the hot broads and invites to all the hot parties. They live in swanky mansions and fill their garages with ridiculously expensive cars, many of which are worth twice the value of your house. Okay, I might be generalizing a bit and being a bit heavy-handed with the hyperbole—but you feel me, right?
My point is just that athletes are super rich and famous and they date smokin' hot babes. But despite their elevated socioeconomic status and ginormous sneaker collections, many of them are just like us. At least that's what I've ascertained by stalking hundreds of them on Twitter.
Not buying it? Well here's proof…
Baron Batch, Pittsburgh Steelers
Twitter ID: @baron_batch
He's Just Like Us: Well, maybe he's more like y'all, cause I don't do this much. He constantly takes pictures of what he's eating—and he eats a lot.
Glen Davis, Orlando Magic
Twitter ID: @iambigbaby11
He's Just Like Us: Big Baby believes there is never a wrong time or wrong place to take a half-naked picture of yourself and post it it Twitter. Not even on the toilet, which is where I believe him to be in this photo.
Justin Verlander, Detroit Tigers
Jonathan Quick, L.A. Kings
Twitter ID: @JonathanQuick32
He's Just Like Us: Quick spends his downtime doing regular-dude things like fishing. And just like regular dudes, he poses with his fish, posts it on Twitter and taunts his teammates who are less accomplished anglers.
Roy Miller, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Twitter ID: @MillTicket_90
He's Just Like Us: Miller, like everyone who is lucky to live within a 100-mile radius of an In-N-Out burger joint, cannot resist the urge to hit up the drive through for a late-night Double-Double.
Jae Crowder, Dallas Mavericks
Twitter ID: @CJC9BOSS
He's Just Like Us: Crowder takes serious joy in the simple things in life. Look how seriously jazzed he is about being able to see fireworks from his balcony. I'd probably be that jazzed too…I effing love fireworks.
CC Sabathia, New York Yankees
Twitter ID: @CC_Sabathia
He's Just Like Us: Because he lets his dog be a complete jag and do whatever he wants—Sabathia even lets his over-enthused pooch use him as a lounge chair. Damn dogs. Welcome to my life—except I've got three.
Mike Cammalleri, Calgary Flames
Twitter ID: @MCammalleri13
He's Just Like Us: Mike Cammalleri totally brags about his shopping trips! Every time one of my girlfriends goes shopping, every detail of the excursion is documented on Twitter. Although, he is probably getting all that stuff for free.
Marcus Lattimore, University of South Carolina
Twitter ID: @LattTwoOne
He's Just Like Us: Marcus Lattimore just went down for the second season in a row with a knee injury, but thankfully he's got some bitchin' flicks to kill time in between classes and rehab. I might actually chill out next Sunday afternoon and watch The Sandlot and Space Jam.
DeJaun Blair, San Antonio Spurs
Twitter ID: @DeJuan45
He's Just Like Us: Blair, like all parents, can never resist taking pictures of his little ones and sharing them with the world. Some of my friends have kids—this is a compulsion that never ends.
CJ Wilson, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Twitter ID: @str8edgeracer
He's Just Like Us: Wilson plays Words with Friends! Not only does he play Words with Friends, he also screen captures his best words, posts them to Twitter and tags his opponent in the tweet to rub his victory in his face.
Brad Richards, New York Rangers
Twitter ID: @BRichards_1991
He's Just Like Us: Richards often takes pictures of completely stupid and nondescript things and posts them to Twitter with little to no information. I do know this is a picture of the Battery Park Tunnel…I just don't know why.
Joseph Barksdale, St. Louis Rams
Twitter ID: @BazookaJoe72
He's Just Like Us: Barksdale might kick your butt all over the football field, but deep down, he's just a video game nerd who runs out at midnight to pick up new released games. And then he brags about it on Twitter to make his video game nerd friends jealous.
Half the fun of getting almost anything is to make people jealous—am I right? Or maybe I'm just a jag.
Metta World Peace, L.A. Lakers
Twitter ID: @MettaWorldPeace
He's Just Like Us: Most of us just aren't that photogenic, so when there's a camera around we often just revert to the Zoolander face "Blue Steel." M.W. Peace did just that in his test shots for a Lifetime network movie he filmed.
This could be the only way in which Metta World Peace is just like any of us.
David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox
Twitter ID: @davidortiz
He's Just Like Us: Like many dads, Ortiz plays the dutiful role of soccer dad for his daughter. Awww. But it also looks like he's the most popular, stylish dad at that game, with plenty of swag to spare. He probably attracts more eyes than the soccer game.
Matt Duchene, Colorado Avalanche
Twitter ID: @Matt9Duchene
He's Just Like Us: Because he dresses his dog up! Duchene posted this picture of him and his dog Paisley to Twitter recently, and both are decked out in their Broncos gear. The dog looks pained though—maybe he's a Chargers fan?
Jordan Bernstine, Washington Redskins
Twitter ID: @JBernstine
He's Just Like Us: Actually, I thought the shoe situation was just a serious travel problem that the ladies have to deal with, but apparently Jordan Bernstine feels our pain. I need to get my shoes their own duffle bag.
Chris Paul, L.A. Clippers
Twitter ID: @CP3
He's Just Like Us: Paul and company just can't help but harass the first guy to fall asleep—it's a time-honored tradition most of us never grow out of. In this case, the boys are harassing Ralph Lawler, the official play-by-play announcer for the Clippers.
Felix Hernandez, Seattle Mariners
Twitter ID: @RealKingFelix
He's Just Like Us: Because he can't resist TDA (Twitter displays of affection). Hernandez is a repeat offender of posting kiss face pictures with the Mrs. to Twitter.
Evander Kane, Winnipeg Jets
Twitter ID: @EKane9JETS
He's Just Like Us: He loves Vegas! Kane recently hit up Sin City but clearly broke the golden rule by tweeting out photos from his balcony at the Cosmopolitan. I did the same thing when I stayed at the Four Seasons.
DJ Campbell, Carolina Panthers
Twitter ID: @DJCampbell27
He's Just Like Us: Campbell and his boys still go all out for Halloween. Bowling party: Check! A bar: Check! Everyone in your life dressed like a complete dumbass: Check! Check! That's just how we do!
Dwight Howard, L.A. Lakers
Twitter ID: @DwightHoward
He's Just Like Us: Dwight Howard totally eats ice cream and brags about it on Twitter. Much like us, Superman is very easily entertained, and it doesn't take too much to make this guy happy.
Logan Morrison, Tampa Bay Rays
Twitter ID: @LoMoMarlins
He's Just Like Us: Lomo dresses his dog up for Halloween! He also uses his adorable French Bulldog, adorably named Chewbacca, to pick up chicks. I must say, it's already worked on me. Awwwwwwww!
Taylor Hall, Edmonton Oilers
Twitter ID: @hallsy04
He's Just Like Us: Because he totally does that thing where he takes a picture of his feet as a way to brag about his surroundings. Obviously Hall is soaking up the sun in this photo, and he wants all his Canadian homies to be wicked jealous.
Zach Potter, Jacksonville Jaguars
Twitter ID: @ZachPotter88
He's Just Like Us: He's got excessive amounts of school spirit. Potter obviously attended the University of Nebraska, and his pumpkin proves it. He could have at least carved out the "N" though, right?
Deron Williams, Brooklyn Nets
Twitter ID: @DeronWilliams
He's Just Like Us: He…um…engages in group wrestling with a bunch of other dudes? Actually, I'm not sure how common this king of thing is. Who knows what heterosexual bros do behind closed doors….
Vernon Wells, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Twitter ID: @VernonWells10
He's Just Like Us: Wells enjoys posting gruesome photos of his injures and subsequent physical therapy on Twitter. Which is awesome, because where's the fun in getting hurt if you can't gross out your friends?
Eric Decker, Denver Broncos
Twitter ID: @EricDecker87
He's Just Like Us: Because he totally uses Twitter to brag about his smoking hot lady friend, Ms. Jessica James. Decker is constantly posting photos of James doing pretty much anything…just to make you jealous. Dudes with hot broads always do that.
Brandon Prust, Montreal Canadiens
Twitter ID: @BrandonPrust8
He's Just Like Us: Prust loves Ghostbusters, just like us! How could he not? It's only one of the most hilarious and amazing movies ever made…like ever…in the entire history of cinema.
Mike Pouncey, Miami Dolphins
Twitter ID: @MikePouncey
He's Just Like Us: Because he enjoys a little bro time—literally. Mike Pouncey recently posted this picture to Twitter of he and his brother Maurkice chillin' out in the hot tub. You probably don't get to spend your bro time at a sweet ass sauna like that, but you feel me.
**Guess who else is just like us! Me, Amber Lee, which is why you should follow me on Twitter and keep abreast of all the mundane things I do each day: Follow @blamberr