A Public Service Announcement Regarding March Madness

Geoffrey ClarkCorrespondent IMarch 16, 2009

This is the time of year when many women worry about the states of their husbands and boyfriends. There is a bug that goes around in this season, and millions of ladies go to bed at night worrying what their significant others will be like the next day.

The culprit is a virus known as March Madness.

Those who are most prone to the disease are men who like basketball in any way, shape, or form; this means quite a few are affected.

The virus begins to rear its ugly head on the second or third Sunday of the titular month and continues until the third Monday following.

Symptoms of March Madness include, but are not limited to: talk of brackets and Dick Vitale, being glued to CBS by way of TV or the Internet, worrying about money they've put at stake, ignoring phone calls from all female companions, leaving the house for an extended period of time, and unhealthy heart rates while watching college basketball.

The virus has its greatest effect Thursday through Sunday during the first two weeks that it exists.

There is no treatment or cure for March Madness. Fortunately for females across the land, the virus is only temporary, so they'll get attention again in just a few weeks.

However, if the male shows any signs of depression during the defined period, their attention may shift to their better halves sooner than expected.

So ladies, before you start filing the divorce papers, remember that this blight lasts only a short period of time, and you'll be happy once again. Your man may even come home with a large sum of money when it ends; think of the possibilities!