The Biggest Streaker Hits in Sports

Zack PumerantzAnalyst III

The Biggest Streaker Hits in Sports

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    Streaking once referred solely to naked fans. But once you enter the field of play, either completely naked or wearing the finest silk, you're officially marked a streaker by angry security guards and athletes. We've seen fans dressed as toilets, superheros and even referees. As a result, protectors must take physical measures, without hesitation.

    Here we'll take a look at the biggest hits ever laid on a streaker. These party crashers never had a chance.

20. Barking Up the Wrong Tree

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    Maybe he should've gone as a brunette instead. This streaker learns the hard way that 200-pound English missile Olly Barkley is not to be tested.

    Bark brilliantly shows him why.

19. The Tone of Super Bowl XXXVIII

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    Nothing better details the emotions surrounding this moment than Teddy Bruschi's searing intensity. And soon enough, his problems are solved with one slight shoulder push from Roman Phifer. Liftoff.

    This wasn't the first scent of nudity at Super Bowl XXXVIII (see Janet Jackson).

18. Green Monster's Caretakers

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    Fingernails from the outfield wall, brief nanoseconds after leaving his seat, this fan is detained.

    A breathtaking crunch from right-field security perfectly details the frustration that's been flooding Fenway Park's confines for several years now. Some might argue that this bruised streaker still fared better than Bobby V.

17. Men in Black

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    The umpire more than struck back following this streaker's childish slide into home plate.

    An agile tackle from the man draped in black, who was naturally furious due to the undergarment perspiration.

16. The Blue Colt

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    Like William "The Fridge" Perry during his heyday, the Colts mascot simply ate his enemy; devoured him with a slight gut thrust.

    Violence minimized, job well done.

15. A Nail-Biting Finish

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    Somehow, it's believed NFL linebacker James Harrison somehow got fined for this hit.

    And for many Americans, this was the highlight of that Brazil game. True grit awarded to the bone-crunching security guard.

14. The Hunger Problem

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    In not eating his vegetables (or any protein whatsoever) as a child, this happy-go-lucky streaker found himself years later frolicking hopelessly for an answer.

    His answer came moments later.

13. A Gridiron Greeting

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    After getting simultaneously crunched by two security guards, the streaker's legs get tossed over his head. A brief taste of the football field for this risk-taker.

12. A Hard Lesson

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    After performing some sort of planned ritual, this scarfed streaker gets a crisp knee to the head from a frustrated footballer.

    Remember kids, always keep your head up. This man does not.

11. Saturday Night Fever

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    A strange combination of the Macarena and Gangnam Style (long before it was even created) from this skirted streaker couldn't keep the yellow-shirted security guards from closing in. And laying a pure smack down.

10. A Misunderstood Red Card

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    As this green-thonged streaker weaves in and out of traffic like a needle through cloth, it seems as if few are even bothered by his mysterious presence. Until one footballer enters stage right and tosses him to the floor like a rag doll.

    Memories are certainly worth the red card.

9. A Fall Classic

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    During parts of four Major League seasons with five different teams between 2002 and 2005, utility man Jason Romano slugged two home runs and barely eclipsed the Mendoza Line.

    His signature moment came in 2003 with the Dodgers, when he tossed one heck of a hefty lefty.

8. Baltimore Brutality

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    In situations where a streaker runs directly into stationary security guards, the bubbly is almost always involved.

    With an entire field as his canvas, this "artist" instead sprints right into the waiting arms of the left-field cop. Case closed.

7. A Thundering Herd

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    Through the ferocious gang tackle, the pileup and the streaker walk of shame, these security guards' fedoras remain pristinely in place. They are the most interesting men in the world.

6. James Harrison's Gentle Side

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    According to Cleveland's coverage of this muddy event, an inebriated fan just couldn't stand losing to the Steelers. Join the club.

    James Harrison continues to handle situations like a gentleman.

5. A True Walk of Shame

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    As he slowly escapes what looks like Bill Romanowski's twin, this naked intruder has no idea he is moments away from gridiron death.

    Even the camera, following closely behind, is blind-sided.

4. Cementing a Legacy

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    Surprisingly agile for a man of such considerable girth, this hefty streaker quickly learns that office linebackers aren't solely confined to their cubicle.

    Once again, Terry Tate saves the day.

3. Raging Bull

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    As the bull scans the crowd in search of fresh meat for that night's candlelight dinner feast with his lovely cow, he seems confused, unsure of where to start.

    His decision soon becomes clear.

2. Mike Curtis' Click-Clack

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    Former fullback-turned-linebacker Mike Curtis wrote a book about his career called Keep Off My Turf. This fan should've read it.

1. Asinine Asselstine

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    Fast forward to 3:50

    If you thought only hockey players themselves were threats on the ice, you were severely correct. But that doesn't mean once in awhile an angry referee can't show off his thorough hip-check.

    Meet Ron Asselstine, our new hero. We'll never again question the 'stache.

     

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