Pool Play. Handsome Mike. Ron the Greek. Game on Dude. And of course, Mucho Macho Man.
These are just a few of the horses entered in this years Breeders' Cup Classic, horse racing's huge year-ending event that boasts a $5 million purse, the largest in North America.
It's the last chance for racing fans, gambling fans, lover of large hats and strange fashion, socialites, partyers and celebrities to gather on the track, wager on the races and, you know, consume large quantities of alcohol.
Sounds like fun, right?
Unfortunately, we can't all join the festivities out in sunny Los Angeles. I for one will have to save my fancy, four-foot hat for another year.
But that doesn't mean I can't catch all of this year's action as racing's year-ending celebration, and with my handy viewing guide below, you won't have to miss a single moment of the pageantry or race itself either.
Here's all of your Breeders' Cup Classic information. Enjoy.
Where: Santa Anita Park, Los Angeles, CA
Post Time: November 3 at 8:30 p.m. ET
Poles, Horses and Odds:
- Pool Play, 30-1
- Flat Out, 5-1
- Alpha, 20-1
- Fort Larned, 5-1
- Game on Dude, 9-5
- Brilliant Speed, 20-1
- Handsome Mike, 30-1
- Nonios, 20-1
- Richard's Kid, 12-1
- Ron the Greek, 6-1
- Mucho Macho Man, 8-1
- To Honor and Serve, 8-1
Best Name: Game on Dude and Mucho Macho Man
Yes, a tie. Any name ever involving the word "dude" automatically earns top billing, but when you put it up against "Mucho Macho Man," it's hard to crown one the winner over another.
On one hand, Game on Dude evokes fond memories of Wayne's World and that one stoner roommate we all had in college who stereotypically loved Funyuns and the Denver Nuggets.
On the other hand, Mucho Macho Man sounds like a cheap rip-off of Randy Savage that should have made an appearance in Nacho Libre.
How could I possibly choose between the two?
Worst Name: Alpha
Booooriiiiiing. You can do better than naming your horse Alpha, Godolphin Racing and LLC Lessee. I'm disappointed in the lack of effort.
My Pick: Game on Dude
Boring I know, as he's the favorite. But he's a perfect five-for-five at this track, and I'm not one to argue with history.
Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets are clutch like Romo. Sergio Romo, that is.