It's been approximately a day or so since somebody in sports media attempted to make Tim Tebow newsworthy again—as Tebow is mired in the depths of irrelevance that comes with waiting on the bench for Mark Sanchez to one day spontaneously combust or, you know, throw double-digit interceptions in a game—so I thought I would give it a shot.
Tim Tebow is possibly dating, you guys! Her name is Camilla Belle, and TMZ totally had sources on the scene as the two potentially, maybe, perhaps were on a date.
Tim and Camilla Belle showed up at Latitude 30 in Jacksonville, Florida Tuesday night, where they bowled and partied.
Oh man, bowling and partying. What night out on the town to go bowling isn't a party, am I right? But wait ... there's more ... and you won't believe what happens next!
People who were at Latitude 30 last night tell us ... Tim and Camilla were overly affectionate throughout the evening, holding hands and touching.
Camilla's rep didn't get back to us, but sources connected with Camilla tell us they are definitely an item.
Those are some cold, hard...insinuations right there, folks. No word on whether or not Tebow would use "Wildcat" as a pet name for Belle should the alleged couple continue dating.
We'll obviously keep you posted as details in that regard emerge.
But who is this mysterious belle that goes by Belle? What's her game in all of this? Should we be concerned the pair might take this party to somewhere a bit more promiscuous the next time they see one another, like mini golf or the Dairy Queen?
A source of my own who is knowledgeable in such affairs and is only known to me by the codename "IMDB" was able to uncover more information on Ms. Belle. He—or she, this figure only lurks in the shadows—revealed to me that Belle is an actress who has appeared in films such as Push, 10,000 BC, When a Stranger Calls, The Ballad of Jack and Rose and The Lost World: Jurassic Park, among others.
According to that same TMZ report, she once dated Joe Jonas but the pair split up in 2009. The connection?
Jonas, like Tebow, is allegedly waiting until marriage to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing, or whatever euphemism for having sex you prefer. Jay Busbee at Shutdown Corner also notes she was linked to Robert Pattinson in the past, that guy from those Twilight films I haven't seen either.
Oh, and she's drop-dead gorgeous. I did my own personal investigating into that matter.
There you have it, folks.
No matter how hard you try to keep Tebow down, Rex Ryan, he'll rise up with Belle possibly by his side if, you know, they're actually dating.
No matter how many times you tease and taunt us with the possibilities of the Wildcat before disregarding it during a game, we'll find reasons to talk about Tebow.
The Internet loves him, Rex, and you and your Sanchize can't keep him down. He's got himself a Belle now, allegedly, based on some unnamed sources, and Tebowmania will rise again.
Now this is the part where we all do our evil laugh as the camera slowly zooms away. End scene.
Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets are clutch like Romo. Sergio Romo, that is.