The Dynasty Manifesto: Into the Armageddon

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The Dynasty Manifesto: Into the Armageddon

Nine years ago, the world was thought to be coming to an end. The year 2000 was upon us and everyone was thinking "Y2K". Computers would crash, cellphones were doomed to terminate and the world was going to face Armageddon.

In the summer of 1999, we witnessed Y2J, Chris Jericho. Though he was talented in and out of the ring and was hilarious, the world still feared "Y2K". Who was going to save us? There is a new threat on the horizon now.

Bigger than weapons of mass destruction, bigger than Korea's nukes, bigger than the planet, it is another ending of the world. Dynasty Manifesto's Spokesman Sam Sandstorm is on the scene as Chairman DKA is missing.

 

Storm: "It has come to our attention that the world is in grave danger. Chairman DKA has lost all contact with us and a search party has been sent to retrieve "the boss". No need to worry, Special ops have been sent out, they know what to do".

Reporter: "Last I heard, D-Assassination X was coming. The misuse of the English language is going to scramble every neuron in a human's brain within 150 feet. They all will be babbling brainless vegetables!"

Storm: "Relax, we have their weakness, their kryptonite....Dictionaries, Thesauruses, Encyclopedias, and most of all...Spell check features".

Reporter: "What about the old lady? She is in critical condition in the ER. Word has it that she has no brains!!!! ARE WE ZOMBIES!! OHHH THE MADNESSS!"

Storm: "Relax, please, there is still hope".

Reporter: "You think there is HOPE?! We're not Randy Orton, I'm not hearing voices! This is reality! I think you didn't see the video".

A video of an old lady at her retirement home is shown. She watches television and then everything goes downhill from there.

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THIS IS NOT SPAM AkD, JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN!!

 

Sup, Tonight is my online radio show, Joe Burgett's the Wrestling Report at 8/7c on www.wildtalkradio.com

Now as you may know we talk about the top stories of the week in the WWE, TNA, and whatever in the world of wrestling

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at

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Call in and we will take the call. If you have a question you can call in or even if you just want to vent about the world of wrestling. We hope to see you at the show. It is surely not a show to miss.

 

The senior citizen starts to drool and have a Festus look on her face. The video ends.

Reporter No. 2: "My goodness the FESTUS FACE?! What have they done to AkD?!! He's a zombie, he can't spell, grammar is foreign to him--

Storm: "Ok, things aren't going that well, but I promise you we will find AkD as well. If Jericho saved the WWE from CM Punk vs JBL for an entire summer, then we will find a way". The lady is in the hospital. Don't worry Dr. Cerebral is on the case. He and his five other identities can restore the lady to full health again.

Reporter: "Are you Jericho? Who can you save? We're doomed....DOOMED I SAY!"

Storm: "The best I can say is go to Home Depot and stock up on food and water. Have spelling bees in the schools, read books at home. Use a dictionary at work, use spell check when your on the computer. They can be repelled people".

Reporter No. 2: "My son is a R-Truth fanatic, he screams "WHAT'S UP?!" all the time. Should I quiet him to repel the assassins?"

Storm: "As long as Shelton can spell "What's up", then everything will be fine".

Reporter: "My son name isn't she--

Storm: "Any more concerns?"

Reporter No. 2: "My daughter has been doing bad in school lately. Truth be told, she watches too much WWE. She loves the divas and Natalya is her favorite".

Storm: "Natalya is one fine woman, so what is the problem?"

Reporter No. 2: "I got her report card and was nervous about her grades. I carefully opened the envelope and it read:

 

Sup, Tonight is my online radio show, Joe Burgett's the Wrestling Report at 8/7c on www.wildtalkradio.com

Now as you may know we talk about the top stories of the week in the WWE, TNA, and whatever in the world of wrestling

We love interaction from the listeners. So call in to the show, it is TOTALLY 100 percent FREE!!
at

303-800-5485

Call in and we will take the call. If you have a question you can call in or even if you just want to vent about the world of wrestling. We hope to see you at the show. It is surely not a show to miss.

 

Storm: "THE MAIL!! This is worse than Anthrax!! Quick burn the paper!!"

Manifesto guards rush to the reporter and Goldberg spear him. The pick up the paper and hold a lighter to it, the paper burns.

Storm: "I see that this is getting out of hand, but need not worry, if we got through Wrestlemania IX, then we can get through this. I am waiting on my assistant and colleague, Alpha Jackson to arrive. Alpha has been studying this case and his grandmother went into a coma because of this tragedy".

Reporter: "In the meantime, what to do you know about Wrestlemania?"

Storm: "I know that the ring is being reinforced 10 times as usual due to the fact that Mark Henry might fall off the ladder. Hogan had back surgery, but will do everything in his power to make it Wrestlemania for the paycheck...ahem, Hulkamaniacs.

Edge might enter the MITB and win the match, due to the fact that he might lose his title that night. There is --

Alpha Davidson arrives on the scene.

Storm: (Pulls Davidson aside and talks to him) "What took you so long?!"

Davidson: "I was listening to Hit The Ropes Radio, those guys are awesome. I was in my car and Sugar Shane was debating with D. Stokes I believe and then I felt like John Cena. I was in my Mustang driving about 85mph and I was ready to drive right into this press conference Wrestlemania 23 style!

Anyway I put the pedal to the metal, and got stopped by the police. A Big Boss Man looking guy came up to me eating J.R.'s BBQ ribs asked for my license and stuff. I told him I was straight edge like CM Punk--

Storm: "Please, get to the point".

Davidson: "I got this summons to court...at least I think I did. If I'm correct, I'm due tonight".

Storm: "Let me see...

 

Sup, Tonight is my online radio show, Joe Burgett's the Wrestling Report at 8/7c on www.wildtalkradio.com

Now as you may know we talk about the top stories of the week in the WWE, TNA, and whatever in the world of wrestling

We love interaction from the listeners. So call in to the show, it is TOTALLY 100 percent FREE!!
at

303-800-5485

Call in and we will take the call. If you have a question you can call in or even if you just want to vent about the world of wrestling. We hope to see you at the show. It is surely not a show to miss.

 

Storm: "JESUS! We've got the heck out of here. Everyone get out of here! Drive home and spell every minute of the way there. Forget Bibles, carry Dictionaries! This will be sorted out".

Everyone frantically leaves spelling for their lives and clutching to dictionaries.

Storm breaks down in Davidson's arms.

Storm: "The mail, the phones, televisions, government documents, when will it stop?"

Davidson: (Calmly) "There is a way, look at Tommy Dreamer, has he given up? (Davidson doesn't even buy his own words). Gather up the men and send the troops out, We will find DKA and AkD. JLB is going to be alright, too.

Why can't they just kill people like regular maniacs? They have mispronounce and misspell the world to death. Lord have mercy".

Storm and Davidson walk off and head home spelling in unison as the search for our heroes continues.

 

-For those wondering, A serious article is on the horizon from yours truly. It's number "tres" in a touching series of mine. In a month full of hell, I need to have some fun...heck we all do.

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