Picking One WWE Theme Song to Describe Every Top NBA Star

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Picking One WWE Theme Song to Describe Every Top NBA Star
Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

The NBA recently made another strange decision, which it is wont to do after making a few competent decisions, to limit player handshakes before games to 90 seconds. Because, you know, it was guys shaking hands and dancing around a bit that's been making games unnecessarily long, not the saturation of commercials.

I actually think they should have gone in the opposite direction and romanticized the entire thing. Expand on player entrances and get a whole professional wrestling vibe going before the opening tip. After all, that pregame handshake stuff is all for fan entertainment, so why not go all-out with that?

It's time to embrace the fact that NBA players are incredibly visible and have personalities on display like no other sport, and those personalities can take a life of their own when a fan sees a guy play.

That's basically the intent of what I'm looking at here, while at the same time showing off my ultra-dorky side. I want to find an entrance theme from a professional wrestler that not only embodies who the best stars are as players, but as people too.

Now I'll be honest with you here, the title is misleading. There are only a handful of "WWE" entrance songs thrown on here, most of them are old-school guys who were retired or nearly there by the time they changed from the WWF.

There's a good reason behind the exclusion of the new guys (besides the fact that I can't stand the product anymore and haven't been able to in about a decade). There was a time when wrestling was supposed to be cheesy, it knew that and we knew that, so they played up the cheesiness with everything from gimmicks to goofy, computerized, uber eighties-sounding entrance music. Now you've got a bunch of guys coming out to music you'd hear on an "edgy" rock station that uses a chord-and-a-half, thriving on energy and repetition. What's fun about that?

Most of what you'll get here, then, is guys geared more toward the 90s WWF period, and, hell, even a few WCW dudes.

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