Trick or Treat!
But why do I feel like WWE made me smell The Big Show's feet?
In celebration of Halloween, let's talk about those tasty treats that WWE gave us this week!
Ryback vs. Punk is an intriguing match, Dolph and Bryan had a great bout on Raw and Kane giving Bryan a slap on the butt was pretty funny.
Well, that's enough of that! Let's talk about the tricks.
I harped on this earlier this week, but it's worth noting again that the build to Hell in a Cell was lousy.
WWE had six weeks to promote the show, and besides Ryback vs. Punk (and to a much lesser extent, the tag team match), they failed in making the other matches seem big.
We've seen Kofi vs. Miz a couple times already, Sheamus didn't get serious until Smackdown, John Cena and AJ's storyline didn't need to happen this week and the brutality of a Hell in a Cell match wasn't even talked about.
If WWE couldn't give us more than one compelling feud with six weeks of TV, what chance do they have when they only have three before Survivor Series?
Let's not think about that right now. Let's take a look back this week on the scary-bad booking, the terrifying logic and that frightening creature known as Ryback.
Here's WWE's worst of the week from October 21st-27th.
With Hell in the Cell right around the corner, WWE had two options.
It was either time to turn up the intensity of the feuds, or just do some silly skit, which might get a chuckle or two from the crowd, but not actually inspire anyone to pay $50 for the show on Sunday.
As usual, WWE chose the latter idea.
With a writing staff composed of people who appear they would rather write for a sitcom, we got a half-hearted “The Newly Tag" game show.
It seemed that WWE was running low on time or something, as they they dropped the concept halfway through.
Watching two guys yell “I am the tag team champions” on two shows every week is becoming dangerously close to becoming annoying (if it hasn’t already reached that level for some fans).
Kane and Bryan have done a brilliant job, but they’re completely overexposed. The crowd reactions on Raw was pretty mediocre.
But worst of all, with the skit ending early, we'll never know where Kane's favorite place to make whoopie is.
It seems every week I have a slide saying, "Miz loses" on Worst of the Week.
Personally, I'm not that big a fan of his, but he's booked so poorly I feel the need to point it out.
Having the challenger for the Intercontinental title get destroyed by Ryback devalues the title more than it helped Ryback.
They could have put almost anyone else in Miz's spot on Monday and it would have helped the build to Hell in a Cell in a more effective way.
We've already seen Miz get destroyed by Ryback (when he held the title, nonetheless), so there was no reason for a rematch to be booked.
Now, if Miz and Kofi have a 20-minute match, it just makes Kofi look weak for not being able to put away Miz sooner. The two had a great match on Main Event, and they should have just left it at that.
On Smackdown, WWE tried to give Miz some of his heat back and had him pin the undefeated (or always defeated?) Yoshi Tatsu.
Do you remember that scene in Clerks where the two main characters talk about all the independent contractors that were killed in Return of the Jedi when the Death Star blew up?
On a much smaller scale, Sheamus took out a load of innocent people just to get his hands on The Big Show.
They were just doing their job, Sheamus!
On Friday night Smackdown, The Big Show and Sheamus had one final verbal battle before their match.
It was actually pretty good.
Sheamus can cut a good promo when he's not making bad jokes. When he's being serious, he shows nice intensity. The Big Show also played his role well when he was dismissive and arrogant.
Sheamus then decided it was time to fight, and he took it out on half a dozen men who were just trying to put food on their families' tables.
He punched a bunch of security guards in the face, and even laid out two with a Brogue Kick. I hope he's going to at least pay for their medical expenses and apologize to their children.
For shame, Sheamus, for shame.
WWE is essentially forcing a Hell in a Cell match on us because that's the name of the show.
On Monday, they forced the "largest lumberjack match in WWE history" because...well...I'm not quite sure.
Promoting the lumberjack match gimmick felt incredibly forced. Lumberjack matches are usually booked so that the heel opponent can't escape. There must be a winner.
However, Punk and Sheamus didn't really have a feud going.
It was actually sad to see that a champion vs. champion match wasn't just good enough to headline a show, but it actually had to have the tacked-on "largest match" card.
In WWE's next short-sighted, desperate attempt for attention, expect next week to see the largest tuxedo match in WWE history when Big Show and Kane attempt to rip each other's clothes off.
Actually, Vince would probably find that hilarious. I take that idea back.
So Vickie's not the GM, but she can book matches? So what’s the difference?
Vince McMahon doesn’t know, either? Well, all right then.
In WWE’s proud tradition in a never-ending line of authority figures who take up too much TV time and don’t wrestle so there's not any sort of actual payoff, Vickie Guerrero is back in charge.
AJ clearly wasn’t working in her role, so WWE went back in time to grab someone that was somewhat decent.
But with Vickie, it just feels like a bad rerun from Smackdown in 2008.
Where is the money in this? Couldn’t that TV time be better served going to the undercard? Why would the board of directors pick Vickie?
It's like WWE gave me an apple for Halloween when all I wanted was a Butterfinger.
Well, that's all for this week! Agree? Disagree? Did anything worse happen? Sound off below, and have a Happy Halloween!