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I realize that the decision to trademark something is a business decision, a simple matter of dollars and cents. And considering the number of professional athletes who go broke within five years of retirement, amassing the largest possible fortune to insulate themselves from bad investments and reckless spending is advisable.
That being said, most athletes who move to trademark something in popular culture end up looking like absolute idiots, as opposed to savvy businessmen. Although some have proved extremely lucrative, like Michael Buffer's decision to trademark the phrase "Let's get ready to rumble!", which has netted him $400 million in licensing fees.
But Buffer relied on his own smarts to make money. Unfortunately most athletes rely on the vast stupidity of the general public to make their money. Here's a list of idiotic things athletes have trademarked.
That's a clown question, bro.
Nationals rookie sensation Bryce Harper trademarked this nonsense, and now it's being sold on Under Armour shirts.
After his high-profile performance at the London Olympics, American swimmer Ryan Lochte filed paperwork to trademark the stupid catchphrase he ripped off from rapper Young Jeezy's "Chea!" The process has stalled because it's being challenged by a web company called "Jeah Communications."
After going pro, one of the first decisions that Hornets rookie Anthony Davis made was to trademark his unibrow.
Are you serious?!
Tennis' most famous loose cannon, John McEnroe, trademarked the verbal lynchpin of his most famous tirade. So don't say it out loud, otherwise you'll get a bill in the mail. Seriously.
Just one of the many "Shaq" related phrases trademarked by retired NBA great Shaquille O'Neal in the peak of his egomania.
Months after the death of "Linsanity," former Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin finally won the battle to trademark the frenzy that he inspired. Way to strike while the iron is hot.
What's weird about this is that Tim Tebow waited almost a full year before moving to trademark this annoying trend that just won't die. Better late than never though, because unlike "Linsanity," Tebowing lives on.
Ball So Hard University
Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs claimed this fictional school as his alma mater in 2011 and immediately attempted to trademark the name. He's been embroiled in a legal battle for over a year with someone who had the same idea.
For more stupid, moneymaking trademarks, click over to ESPN.
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