Travis Henry: The Most Fertile Athlete In Sports History

Congrats to Travis Henry since he's a father, yet again.

For the 11th time with a 10th different woman.

(Pause for laughter, and to give you time to call every girl you know and tell them to stay away from him. Let's also take a second to double delete Sean Kemp as the biggest garbage dick to every live.)

Yes, apparently his boys can swim. In any ocean, lake, sea, or tide. I’m just guessing he’s not a tighty-whitey guy.

ESPN is reporting that the former Broncos' running back is back at it. You gotta dig his stamina and commitment to never learn from his mistake, and never get smarter.

Wait, I think he just knocked up another woman.

Personally, E-Shore loves Travis Henry. Sure, you can split hairs on the whole 11 from 10 argument, but you have to respect him. Henry did what many in this world are afraid to do—go with your strengths.

He couldn’t stay in the NFL, so he got bounced from the league (not his strength). He isn’t a good drug dealer evidenced by his arrest for that (not his strength). And he doesn’t pay child support ($17K a month), and he’s probably going to the hole (and into bankruptcy) because of that (not his strength).

But…he’s obviously very good at meeting loose women, and fucking them without protection and then having a kid he won’t pay for.

Ding ding ding. We have a "What is His Strength?" winner.

Wait, I think he just knocked up another woman.

Look, Eddie Shore is no saint.

E-Shore knows most guys in America have been overserved, made some bad decision, and could get that knock on the door in 10 years from a stranger that looks a lot like us (and that girl from University of Georgia) that we did Tequila Popppers with about 10 years and 9 months ago.

It’ll happen. It has happened.

But 11 freaking kids from 10 different women?

Even Larry Bird only ignored one illegitimate kid. Travis Henry has redefined the role of asshole-athlete. 11 kids by 10 different woman? How does that go?

Can you just imagine this a-hole in everyday life?

Family picnic

Travis: Hey Travis Jr., I want you to meet your half-brother, Travis Jr. Then we’ll play 5-on-5 hoops. Travis Jr., Travis Jr., Travis Jr., Travis Jr., and Travis Jr., you be skins. Travis Jr., Travis Jr., Travis Jr., Travis Jr., and Travis Jr., you be shirts.

Travis Jr., you sit this one out. Oh, and before we start, each of you go tell your separate moms that your one dad is watching you.

PTA

Travis Jr, #11: Dad, can you come to my parent-teacher night?

Travis: I can’t. I’ve already met your teacher 10 times.

Mother’s Day

On the card from Travis to each of his 10 women:

"Dear No. 1-10, you mean the world to me. You are the only one for me. Love, the guy who impregnated you and 9 others and doesn’t pay child support."

Pharmacy

Travis: Excuse me, where are the condoms? I need to know which aisle to ignore.

Jail (after he’s convicted on drug charges and/or failure to pay child support)

Warden: Henry, all 11 of your kids told you to go f*** yourself, and that you were the worst father ever.
Travis: Cool. What’s the name of that female security guard? I haven’t had a kid in like 3 minutes.

Everyday / everywhere to every woman

Travis: Hi, my name is Travis. Wanna have unprotected sex so I can give you a kid I’ll never pay for?
At least 10 woman: Sounds good. (Cue the world imploding)

Wait, I think he just knocked up another woman.