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Power Ranking the NBA's Best Dressed Teams

Jesse DorseyFeatured ColumnistJanuary 12, 2017

Power Ranking the NBA's Best Dressed Teams

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    Ever since David Stern implemented a dress policy in the NBA back in 2005, we've seen an interesting change in the sideline attire of NBA players. 

    What was once little more than Adidas or Nike sweatsuits complemented with a few pieces of jewelry is now tailored suits put together specifically to make an injured dude look good while he's cheering on his team.

    It's changed the image of the league, for sure, but it's also forced players to be more creative if they want to express themselves via clothing and has definitely made for some interesting fashion moments over the past seven years.

    So with draft-day and post-game interview suits and anything else a player may wear in mind, it seems like a good time to take a look at the league and figure out which teams are comprised of the best dressers.

30. Milwaukee Bucks

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    No matter what team he was traded to, Drew Gooden would drag them down so far that it would be impossible for them to stay remotely near the top of the league.

    Sure, this draft-day suit was from back in 2002, but the memory of the baggiest suit never worn by Shaq with hidden buttons clouds every opinion I could ever have about Gooden and the team he's on.

    Monta Ellis and Brandon Jennings are good dressers, but it would take LeBron James, Chris Bosh, John Wall, Dwight Howard and Don Draper to make up for what Drew Gooden wore a decade ago.

29. Philadelphia 76ers

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    One of my favorite things about Andrew Bynum is how much he just doesn't give a damn at times. Sure, it might be a bad way to act on the court every once in a while, but it makes for one entertaining basketball player.

    Bynum's "who cares" attitude was in full force when the 76ers introduced him for the first time, and he showed up in a team shirt. It was a nice sign of dedication to his new team, but it didn't help that it was wrinkled.

    What hurt Philly more than Bynum coming to town was Andre Iguodala leaving, as he was one of the best-dressed guys in the league during his time in Philadelphia.

28. Charlotte Bobcats

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    I'm sorry to say it, but even though the guys on the Charlotte Bobcats aren't particularly terrible dressers, the guy that owns the team kind of overshadows them.

    It seems like every few months or so another picture comes out of Michael Jordan wearing something that seems like a contemporary outfit, but ends up being tweaked in some way that it just looks ridiculous.

    Of the actual Bobcats, Kemba Walker can rock a suit, as can Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, but they're just not fly enough yet to distract from the lunar eclipse of fashion that is Michael Jordan.

27. Detroit Pistons

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    Just like their team as a cohesive group of basketball players, there's nothing particularly spectacular about the Pistons as dressers.

    Andre Drummond looks good in a suit, but that's about all you can say about the rest of the team as well. They don't do anything to stand out, but they don't do anything to look too ridiculous either.

26. Orlando Magic

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    When Dwight Howard left the Magic, he left a bit of a power vacuum. No, it's not a question of who will replace him in the post, but who will replace him as the most stylish guy on the team.

    Sure, Dwight wasn't consistently on point in terms of being a stylish guy, but he was there more often than not, and the rest of the Magic were moderately good dressers at best.

    All they need to do right now is hope that Big Baby doesn't try to take over Dwight's spot, and keep him away from the bow tie section.

25. Phoenix Suns

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    Just like the makeup of their team, the Phoenix Suns are individually very different dressers. Unfortunately, the outlook of their team as dressers isn't nearly as hopeful as their ability as basketball players

    The new guy coming in, Kendall Marshall, is a very conservative, classic kind of dresser, which fits him and his personality.

    Meanwhile, Marcin Gortat was comfortable enough at one point to rock a wife beater under a grey jacket with grey pants, all while wearing sandals. If anything, that's just impressive.

24. Dallas Mavericks

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    One of the great things about Dirk Nowitzki over the past few seasons is just how much he's stopped caring about things outside of his own team.

    He doesn't care about the critics who call him a soft defender, he doesn't care about what's going on around him, and he doesn't care about what he's wearing.

    Instead of trying and failing miserably, Dirk decided it's not worth it to try, going for comfort over style. It leaves the leader of the team looking a bit disheveled at times, but who cares, really.

    As for the rest of the team, O.J. Mayo is probably the snazziest dresser, but Dirk's slacker look and Chris Kaman's craziness seem to overshadow that.

23. Boston Celtics

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    Sure, I cherry-picked what suit to show off for Paul Pierce, but it's not like I went through a long list of good ones before I got to this beauty.

    The picture doesn't dip very low, but I can tell you that this baggy beauty featured a jacket that went nearly to his knees. Combine that with the ridiculously broad pinstripes and the huge chain, and you've got a terrible combination of a bad imitation of a 1920s gangster and a 1990s gangsta.

    Rajon Rondo can be a good dresser at times, but the rest of the team just doesn't seem to give a damn enough for them to rate very high here.

22. Memphis Grizzlies

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    For the Grizzlies, Tony Allen, Rudy Gay and Mike Conley have all put on nice suits and ended up rocking them well, but it seems like the team would rather be comfortable than snazzy.

    Zach Randolph leads the team's "Who cares?" attitude as he routinely shows up to post-game interviews in a polo on a dressed-up day. His suits were a bit too baggy, but it looked like he was comfortable when he was on the sidelines during his injury last season.

21. Toronto Raptors

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    The Toronto Raptors are continually an interesting team, especially as of late, now that they're a combination of guys from about 48 different countries playing basketball, a distinctly American sport, in Canada.

    It's a situation in which styles clash, mash, mix-and-match and don't always come out the other end looking good.

    The majority of the time the guys on the Raptors go for a basic looking suit, but then someone like Quincy Acy will pull out this hideous creation if he's feeling froglike.

20. Indiana Pacers

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    I'm a fan of Paul George's brown tie and tan suit combination from the draft two years ago, but the rest of the Indiana Pacers don't do much to stand out from the crowd.

    Roy Hibbert, Danny Granger, George Hill and the gang dress up well in a suit, but they don't do anything to stick out from the pack, so there's not much else to say about them.

19. Utah Jazz

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    I'd say that Enes Kanter has adapted to the American lifestyle quite nicely, if you've followed him over the past summer. It seems like any picture that comes out features him surrounded by scantily-clad women, whether they're forming a pyramid on top of him or just hanging around him at the Playboy Mansion.

    It goes to show that you don't have to be a snazzy dresser to get the ladies.

18. Chicago Bulls

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    Before we get to Joakim Noah, let's take a look at the positives surrounding the Chicago Bulls, which is pretty much everybody but Joakim Noah.

    Derrick Rose is one of the league's best non-hipsterish dressers, while guys like Carlos Boozer, Luol Deng, Taj Gibson and even Marquis Teague seem to be good dressers themselves.

    However, I've never seen Joakim Noah wear a suit that is even borderline decent; everything he seems to have ever gone out into public in has been a head-to-toe disaster.

17. Atlanta Hawks

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    On the court, Zaza Pachulia is a rumbling, bumbling, stumbling sometimes-effective big body to throw in the way of the other team's big men for about 20 minutes a game.

    Off the court, Zaza is a dapper, tie-clip rocking dude who is going to stare into your soul and break you apart without a single word. He single-handedly gives the Hawks a few extra spots.

    Otherwise, Atlanta has Jeff Teague, who's a pretty good dresser, Josh Smith and Al Horford, who follow along the lines of Teague: not doing anything too crazy but not drawing much positive attention either.

16. Minnesota Timberwolves

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    Kevin Love has come a long way since college when he was wearing suits that seemed baggy enough to be worn by NBA players back in 2001 and showing up everywhere in gym shorts and t-shirts.

    Along with Love, Brandon Roy has always been a great dresser, as has Andrei Kirilenko, despite his jagged, rock-like face.

    Plus, it doesn't hurt that whatever Ricky Rubio wears just makes him look like a puppy dog dressed up in people's clothes. 

15. San Antonoio Spurs

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    For all intents and purposes, most of the guys on the Spurs are terrible dressers, mostly because they don't give a damn. 

    Tim Duncan is a perfect example of that attitude, as is Matt Bonner.

    However, San Antonio is an example of a time when one dude can make the team immediately more stylish through pure osmosis. Tony Parker, whether it is his Frenchness or just the fact that he always seems to be wearing something sleek and smooth, just seems to go everywhere dressed in his best.

14. Cleveland Cavaliers

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    The Cavs are bringing in a group of young guys who are making the team look downright fancy.

    If it's not Dion Waiters' Syracuse throwback jersey during the NBA draft, Kyrie Irving looking as sleek as a John Wall or Chris Paul and Tristan Thompson doing a borderline-hipster thing at times, and you've got a trifecta to lead the team into the future.

    Moving forward this team could end up being a big power player in the NBA, both on the court and in the pages of GQ.

13. Sacramento Kings

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    Tyreke Evans is a man dedicated to team colors, and it's a good thing too because he looks good in purple and black. Throw some faint stripes to go along with it, and he's got himself a nice-looking suit.

    Along with Tyreke's purple, DeMarcus Cousins always seems to look good, whether it be in a classic black suit or something a little more colorful. Plus, he and I own the same hat (although mine cost $5, I'm not sure about his), so he gets a few bonus points.

12. Portland Trail Blazers

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    Portland has a team full of some pretty dapper guys. Of course, like the San Antonio Spurs, it seems to help if you've got a French dude on your team.

    While guys like J.J. Hickson, LaMarcus Aldridge, Wes Johnson and Damian Lillard all throw a suit on as well as the next NBA player, Nicolas Batum could throw on a shirt and a blazer and look excellent.

    It's a mystery, but as long as there are French dudes in the league, there will also be strange goings on between them and women in multiple cities.

11. Houston Rockets

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    The Houston Rockets might not seem like a bunch of guys who would be going around giving out fashion advice, but they added four pretty stylish dudes along the way this summer.

    Jeremy Lin is obviously a sharp dresser. Whether it be a plain suit with a nice white shirt underneath like this one or something a little more outlandish, he always seems to pull it off.

    The three rookies that came along in the draft also seem to have a nice fashion sense. Jeremy Lamb has a very classic, almost-plain-yet-refreshing style of suit that he breaks out, as does Terrence Jones, while Royce White brings a bit of a hipster vibe to the table.

10. Denver Nuggets

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    I'm not sure what decade this jacket Danilo Gallinari is wearing is from. Whether it's from the 1980s or the 2130s, I do know that it's from an Armani photo shoot, and they know a lot more about fashion than I do.

    It looks a bit crazy, but it's totally something I would wear if I had it; so I'm going to go ahead and put the stamp of approval.

    Besides Gallinari and his crazy jacket, Denver's addition of Andre Iguodala gave them one of the league's best dressers. Plus, Ty Lawson and JaVale McGee are good for a cool suit from time to time.

9. Golden State Warriors

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    The Golden State Warriors' two best players have spent a lot of time on the sidelines wearing suits in their day, so they've gotten pretty good at putting together a nice looking combo.

    Even a guy like Andrew Bogut, a big, bulky white dude, is able to throw together a set of duds that make him look downright dapper—something that's hard to do when a man is well past the upper end of either the big or the tall at the Big & Tall Store.

    Plus, the group of rookies they've got coming in don't try to do anything too fancy, which really comes across as professional and sleek.

8. New Orleans Hornets

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    New Orleans added two guys over the summer who aren't afraid to break out a checkered shirt and throw it brazenly under a plain, black blazer, which is really cool to me.

    Anthony Davis pops that gem out in this photo here while Austin Rivers rocked the checkered shirt on draft night and looked damn cool doing so.

    Add those two to Eric Gordon's former-LA style bank and you've got a young team that could be budding style starters in the NBA. Hopefully, they'll mix in a bit of Cajun creativity to their outfits as the season goes along.

7. Washington Wizards

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    If there's a team out there who's helped out by one guy more than any other, it has to be John Wall. Some teams are completely obliterated by terrible dressing from one player, but Wall is so consistently well-dressed that it's hard to keep the Wizards out of the top ten.

    Now, instead of having to deal with Nick Young wearing Nick Young things, he gets to deal with Bradley Beal, who is a pretty darn snazzy dresser himself.

    Plus, Nené has spent so much time on the sidelines over the past year that he's no longer wearing things like his Drew Gooden-ish draft-day suit.

6. Brooklyn Nets

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    It doesn't seem like they're full of snazzy dressers, but they're a team full of guys who don't try too hard to be stylish, which kind of makes them and what they wear a bit cooler.

    Deron Williams isn't the fancy dresser that his Western Conference counterpart Chris Paul is, but he can wear a suit, he can dress down and he always seems to look good and comfortable.

    Here we see Kris Humphries dressed in "Kardashian Casual" in which he tries to make it seem like he's not trying to look good, but you know he totally spent a good hour getting ready before he went out.

5. New York Knicks

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    The Knicks seem to have grabbed the pinnacle of trendy fashion. I don't know if you could call what Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing here "hipster" gear, because he's not really wearing something before it's cool, he's wearing something that will never be cool.

    Even still, the fact that they're the Knicks and that they are in the center of the world in New York City makes their psuedo-hipness kind of intriguing and interesting.

    The biggest problem is that they had a player who was a legitimately stylish guy in Jeremy Lin in the classical sense of the word and they let him go. That was the real tragedy when he signed with the Rockets.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder

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    Nobody does the goofy, youngster, hipster trends better than the Oklahoma City Thunder.

    Between James Harden's beard, Russell Westbrook's red glasses and ridiculous shirts and Kevin Durant's backpacks, these dudes know how to accessorize. 

    They kind of have an immature vibe going on, which isn't usually as cool as the prim and pressed GQ look, but when Harden spent an evening wearing white pants and a leopard print hat, he put them over the top.

3. Los Angeles Clippers

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    The Clippers aren't full of guys who throw together suits in an attempt to make the cover of magazines, but they put on suits and just look damn good.

    Chris Paul continues to be one of the best dressers in the NBA, while Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan put together are twin towers in some nice threads.

    What puts them so high up is that they all seem to dress well, but what keeps them out of the top two has to be the addition of Lamar Odom, who seems to dress in a way that only Lamar Odom would.

2. Los Angeles Lakers

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    Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard make some very obviously questionable fashion choices, there's no doubt about that. But when they get it right, boy do they get it right.

    When Kobe was on the sidelines near the end of the 2012 regular season, he was pulling out suits night after night that made him look as if he were the one coaching the team and not Mike Brown.

    Speaking of Brown, what other coaches in the league own as many different colored glasses as Brown does? It seems like the man has a set of specs to match every suit.

    They've also got Steve Nash, who has been more dapper as of late, but he can contrast with Metta World Peace and Pau Gasol, both of whom can look grizzled and frightening.

1. Miami Heat

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    Nobody gets a hit every time they're at the plate, but it seems like the Heat as a collective have the best fashion sense in the NBA.

    Perhaps it helps that both LeBron James and Chris Bosh have their own personal stylist, but even Dwyane Wade gets in on the fashion fun.

    What really put them over the top is the same move that many people think will put them over the top as a basketball team: Ray Allen. Nobody, and I mean nobody, in the NBA looks half as good as Allen does in Easter colors. That means once the playoffs roll around and he starts breaking out the pinks and the baby blues again, they're going to be off the charts on the fashion scale.

    If you are one of those twitterers, you can follow me @JDorsey33.

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