There's really nothing we can print here to adequately prepare you for this video, which dates back to April but has been flying under the radar since then with under 10,000 total views. It is Wisconsin starting quarterback Joel Stave sitting down at a piano in a concert hall and banging out his own personal rendition of "Drops of Jupiter," a.k.a., that one song that was always on the radio 10 years ago.
To be honest, we're sort of struggling for words on this one. Granted, it's not even the worst Train song he could have chosen (don't click that—seriously, don't), but it's still an awful song. At the very least, Stave's enunciation is remarkable, so we can finally understand the lyrics, and...what on earth are those lyrics even saying? "Did you ever sail across the sun?"
There are just so many better choices you can make for a song to perform on the piano—especially with everyone watching. Pick one of the classics, my man! Beethoven's Fifth! A little Chopin! Or, uh...this:
Okay, so that's more of an ESPN Instant Classic than an actual classic. Still. Let's liven things up around here. We don't want the Big Ten to become the Train of football conferences.
Nobody wants that.