San Marino came to Wembley with their eyes on picking up a point in World Cup Qualification. As it turned out, even getting a shot on goal was problematic.
England out-shot the minnows 32-1 and secured a 5-0 victory on Friday. None of San Marino's shots were on-goal.
The Three Lions were a bit slow to get going and had to wait until the 35th minute to open the scoring; Wayne Rooney confidently converting a penalty.
Rooney energized strike partner Danny Welbeck—the player fouled prior to Rooney's opening goal—who followed up with a goal of his own three minutes later.
The second-half scoring started in similar fashion with Rooney scoring in the 69' to pad England's lead.
Welbeck wasn't about to let the first-half parlay lapse, though. He found the net after a nice cross from Tom Cleverley.
England posted their third goal in eight minutes when Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain popped the ball up and over the goal keeper.
The story prior to the match was Ashley Cole being left off the roster. His Twitter rant against the FA on Monday resulted in a misconduct charge, but manager Roy Hodgson stated he dropped the star defended for playing reasons, not discipline, according to Harry Harris of ESPN.com.
The win pushes England to 2-1-0 in World Cup Qualifying play. They face Poland on October 16 in Warsaw, Poland.
San Marino falls to 0-0-2, with their other loss coming at the feet of Montenegro, 6-0.
The odds were definitely against San Marino. Aside from playing on a hostile pitch, they haven't exactly been competitive in international play.
England 0-0 San Marino. San Marino lost their last 54 consecutive competitive matches, since a 1-1 draw at Latvia in a WCQ match in 2001.— Infostrada Sports (@InfostradaLive) October 12, 2012
The Mirror opted to take a bit more jovial approach to this match.
Remember: there's no easy games at this level. With that in mind, our prediction for tonight: England 89-0 San Marino— MirrorFootball (@MirrorFootball) October 12, 2012
The odds for a 6-0 score in this match was 9:1. This left some lofty expectations and England was coming up short for much of the game.
GOAL! England 5-0 San Marino (77 mins) - looking a lot more respectable now as Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain finds the top corner from 15 yards.— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) October 12, 2012
More than just the score was lopsided in this match. Well, and the shots. And the shots on goal.
England had 86% possession tonight! itv.com/sport/football…— ITV Football (@itvfootball) October 12, 2012
Wayne Rooney: A
It is no secret that England relies on Rooney to be the face of their offense. He stepped up his game and energized the offense.
Rooney's value was shown when he was tapped to take the penalty kick in the first half.
Danny Welbeck: A-
Sure, Welbeck had a pair of goals, but he needed a jump-start from Rooney in both halves to get on the board.
Joe Hart: MIA
Did the Three Lions actually have a goal keeper in this match? England could have a contest and pull the keeper in a raffle and have the same result.
San Marino: I can't do it
We all know what grade the minnows earned. They were completely over-matched in this contest. But they played with pride and kept the game close for most of the match.
They at least earned an "A" for effort.