I realize that I am going to come across to some as a curmudgeon. I am okay with that.
Others will say that this is a style thing, or a cultural expression. Fine, I get that.
When it comes to the relationship between professional sports, fans, fashion and celebrities, the baseball cap is arguably the most common way to show support of a team. Certainly there are people who wear team shirts or replica jerseys. However, the baseball cap is a regular part of the fan wardrobe and has been around for some time.
What is the problem? The problem is that people today seem to have lost their way when it comes to placing a lid on their noggin.
I am here to put people back on the path to proper baseball cap protocol. Do not be swayed by the practices of celebrities and other trendsetters.
That sticker on your bill—take it off.
Unless you are doing a tribute to Minnie Pearl, the sticker needs to be removed before donning your cap. I know what some people are going to say. "Style. Culture. Branding. You would not understand."
If you want to put the sticker on your bulletin board, place it on the three-ring binder that houses your notes from class, or put it on the front of your shirt, that is fine. However, it does not belong on your hat.
If Major League Baseball wanted that information to be there, they would embroider it.
Wear things that fit. It is not that hard.
I know the trend today is to wear hats that are several sizes too large, but this is not a practical way to go through life. The thing is, companies have provided us with an opportunity to get hats that are geared for our particular heads. Imagine that.
Either adjust that snapback, or buy a hat that fits snugly over your dome. So what if 7 1/8 is a funny number? That is the size of your head.
I am not even going to get into your over-sized pants.
The nice thing about a baseball cap is that it can keep the sun out of our eyes. However, this is maximized when you keep the bill facing forward. What does your angle say?
That you are off-center? That you like geometry?
I do not really care if popular celebrities are doing this. Point your hat in the direction that you are going. Now, if the sun happens to be at one o'clock and you want to maximize the functionality of your bill on a long walk, go for it. Otherwise, noon.
OK, maybe this is a bad example.
Congratulations, you are now part of a societal subset. You are a “flat-biller.” How did you achieve membership in this group? If I had a remote-controlled helicopter, I could land it on your flat bill.
Do not be afraid. Live a little. Grab that bill and bend it just a bit.
Take a look at those that actually play the game. When you play baseball, you need to work your glove into shape. The hat is the same way.
Besides, when you bend the bill it might help loosen up that sticker.
The other day I saw a guy wearing a Baltimore Orioles hat. I said, “Hey, I was rooting for your Orioles against the Yankees the other night.” Nothing. No response. Blank expression.
I said, “Are you an Orioles fan? Your hat?” This made the light bulb go on, albeit dimly. He replied, “Oh, no, I just like the hat.”
This is not acceptable.
Wear a hat because they are your team. You owe that much to fans who have defended their franchises for decades and lived through heartache and sorrow when they lose. It is one thing to jump on a bandwagon and it is quite another to pick a hat just for the look.
If you like birds, join an ornithology club. Otherwise, start watching some baseball.