"Urghh You thought it was over?!! I told you I'll BE BACK!"
In the wake of terrifying news, the Governor of California could not be reached for a comment.
WWE has an invasion! Smackdown superstar Vladamir Koslov has finally been exposed. This is shocking news that has just been discovered. Jamie Noble has been found dismantled, nearly lifeless and it wasn't by human hands.
Word Life officials have been on the scene for hours as well as Manifesto scientists. Both parties have confirmed that worse things are on the horizon.
Vladimir Koslov was dubbed a Russian monster and always stressed to have "competition". People far and wide always pondered on how a mere headbutt could defeat superstars. It was later discovered that he didn't have a human skull.
WWE Wellness policy usually picks on up on these things, but seem to bypass Koslov.
Everyone in WWE is concerned with Randy Orton's I.E.D. (Intermittent Explosive Disorder)
as it is getting worse, he says he has a sixth sense. Koslov never talked much backstage with the stars, in fact he gave cold stares and would yell "COMPETITION!" That was the only word that could say in the English language.
Egyptian hieroglyphics were deciphered, so the scientist believed that Koslov had a hidden language. WWE continued to downplay the situation. Vince McMahon said that Koslov is a Russian and threatened to file a lawsuit against Manifesto and Word Life for trying to expose his product.
The scientist ignored McMahon's threat and finally deciphered Koslov's language. This is the biggest discovery since Y2J's code was cracked. We advise that parents remove their children from the room, and or cover their eyes. What is about to be shown is very disturbing.
"COMPETITION" is an abbreviation. The RNN camera men are shaking the cameras as they too are disturbed at the findings...
Сборище долбаебов3. Они вдувают2. Играют как девочки. Sborishe dolbaebov. Oni vduvayut. Igrayut kak devochki.
Не теряй времени. Ты теряешь своё время. Ne teyaj vremeni. Ty teryaesh svoyo vremya
"COMPETITION" just might very well spell our doom. Is Koslov the only of his kind? The writings above were found in his journal and has not been deciphered yet. Manifesto Chairman DKA briefly took the stage.
DKA: "This is very disturbing. I do not know what to conclude from this, but it is not good. Is the world at danger? I don't know but I urge America to stay calm. We will look into this".
RNN Reporter: ARE WE GOING TO GET TERMINATED?!!
Reporter #2: Is it true he has an entire metallic body and is composed of a different substance?
Reporter #4: Is Octo-MOM a robot? How bout Dolph Ziggler, he's only programed to say his name.
Reporter #5: Is Dr. Octopus a robot? What about--
DKA: "PLEASE! I said to remain calm. We will find out more and will keep you all notified. All I can say is that Ziggler is indeed suspicious and we'll be checking him out as well. Our studies will be vital. The line between humanity and Armageddon has been drawn".
"WE WILL NOT BE TERMINATED!" The press erupts.