A Hater's Guide to NFL Week 5: Why Your Team Is Bound to Lose

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A Hater's Guide to NFL Week 5: Why Your Team Is Bound to Lose
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

You know what's really horrible?

Your favorite team.

Just accept it. There's no reason to deny it any more. It's Week 5 in the NFL, and all of your teams are utter crap. My team is too. There's no favoritism here. My hatred knows no bounds and hates everyone equally.

That fictional scenario above is what many people think anyway, so why not embrace it?

The following article is meant entirely in jest. However, the hatred behind it for all of your teams—and quite frankly, for your faces—is quite real.

Enjoy the article, and then have a terrible rest of your day.

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