Live Blog: UFC 96: Jackson Vs. Jardine

Our UFC 96: Jackson v. Jardine Live Blog kicks off in a few minutes.

As the article headline previously read, we're viewing the pay-per-view festivities live tonight via a pirated Internet stream. We won't be releasing the Web site because we hope no one shuts the stream down. We're poor graduate students interning as Bleacher Report editors and writers so we lack much money. And by lack, we mean we have none. In this economy 50 bucks for a UFC PPV, without a title fight, rules too rich for our blood and too heavy on our wallets. Bare with us here, we're still new at this whole live-blogging gig.

Here's the main UFC 96 main fight fight and the quick results from the prelim bouts. The following slides depict our comments of the action and other meaningless tidbits.

UFC 96 Main Card Bouts:
-Quinton Rampage Jackson vs. Keith Jardine
-Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Shane Carwin
-Matt Brown vs. Pete Sell
-Matt Hamill vs. Mark Munoz
-Gray Maynard vs. Jim Miller

UFC 96 Preliminary Bouts:
-Tamdan McCrory over Ryan Madigan via TKO (Strikes)
-Kendall Grove over Jason Day via TKO (Strikes) Round 1
-Jason Brilz over Tim Boetsch via Unanimous Decision
-Brandon Vera over Mike Patt via technical knockout (leg kicks) in round two
-Shane Nelson over Aaron Riley via technical knockout (strikes) in round one

Sorry for missing the few fight between Gray Maynard and Jim Miller, but we've been busying scoring exclusive pre-fight interviews from the tonight's' biggest fighters. We're also hopefully score some post-fight responses and fan reactions.

We'll be here at night long so check back from instant fight results, commentary, and analysis.

*Note to editors, we will be updating this article all night long so please refrain from editing it. Thanks*

Gray Maynard Boxes Way To Victory

Our free Internet stream is skipping. Next time we'll pay for the fights. Taped-delayed cards just aren't the same. We've been DVR'd.

Sorry folks, but no pre-fight interviews from us tonight. Hopefully we score some post-fight responses, but no bet the farm. We'll be here at night long so check back from instant fight results, poor comedic color commentary, and anal retentive analysis.

Gray Maynard wins via unanimous decision over the Jim Miller. The Ohio State Wrestling Champion continue his unbeaten UFC winning streak. Gil Martinez is the man. Can't wait to see how face Maynard next.

Not much excitement, a few great escapes from Maynard. Missed most the action per usual. Up next Mark Munoz in UFC debut against hometown homeboy Matt Hamill.

Mark Munoz Ears Still Ringing From Hamill Headkick

Hamill comes down to Octagon with Ohio's state song, "Snoopy Hang On" Good thing he can doesn't have to hear it. Lame joke yes, but we've only done a few live blogs before and we almost hammered. Who cares about Munoz' pre-fight song, we're barely able to keep up ourselves.

Both fighters 31 years old, with Hamill owning a greater reach. The tale of the team told us so. Duct tape makes a mean wristband, by the way.

Hammill now hammering Munoz. Both fighters pacing themselves, with Hamill shaking off Munoz repetitive clinch attempts. Straight shot uppercut...

KNOCKOUT!

Completing unexpected to say the least. Munoz sill unconscious from Hamill's beautiful placed sidekick right upside the head. Hamill earns the win for sure. Might as well kick that Knockout of the NIght honors. See I even type kicked it was so nasty. Munoz' ears will be ringing for weeks from that shot. Damn!

Hamill speaks the truth, supports his family, and loves the fans. We really must pay attention when Hamill fights, he's capable of impressing fans each fight. Look out Bisping!

Mir announcement now. Deal with it Mir, you're backing out. Dana, listen shift the fight back a few months. Injuries a part of fighting. Fight to take place July 11. No excuses for it to happen so soon at UFC 98.

Sugar Shad Evans faces either Jackson if he beats Evan's guy Jardine, which puts the UFC 98 main event to include a light heavyweight title fight between Evans and Lyoto Machida.

Get healthy soon Frank. Wow, Sable and Brock in the stands. Brock went to Minnesota, sure he didn't like to see the basketball team put up a stinker against Michigan this afternoon.

Matt Brown Punishes Pete Sell

Another Buckeye, more unlistenable country music, looks like this should be less entertaining of fights than we've seen so far. Maybe the under card was just as good.

This should be exciting brawl between two rising fighters. Is the immortal Matt Brown ready for Pete Sell? We'll found out soon enough.

Here comes Pete Sell and some rap music. Wait...this is R&B. Sell welterweight debut came back at UFC 90, can the New Yorker make it two wins in a row tonight.

Expect ground-and-pound from Sell, Brown more a brawler who uses kicks to weaken opponents.

Early knockdown for Brown. Real short stoppage there. Brown's back to raping him now. It might be over. Sell's recover nicely, but can't get fight to ground. Sell in trouble, Brown relentlessly punishing Sell. When will they call this fight. Sell can't even stand, Ref stopped fight early, but let them touch gloves again. Finally, ref Yves Lavigne calls the fight.

Buckeyes win for a now perfect 3-3 tonight.

We know what you mean Pete, you still want to fight. Better luck next time.

Shane Carwin Catches a Knockout Punch on Gabriel Gonzaga

Winner here Dana White says earns eventual title shot versus Lesnar or whomever the champion is at the time.

Since every fight thus far has been a knockout. Our easy prediction that Hamill's headkick wins Knockout of the NIght remains doubtful.

Unbeaten Carwin listens to heavy metal music. Wonder what genres Gonzaga jams out to? We can only assume its heavier heavy metal music. Real heavy. There's that word again: Heavy.

Mother, here comes that heavy man and he's looking for a fight. Do you want to bang fists with Gonzaga? Gonzaga struggles lasting through most fights, his power and cardio could decide fight.

Definitely a potential sleeper for UFC PPV of the early year. Longer reach for Carwin, no one's tapping out tonight. Both fighters live to throw it down in the
Octagon.

Gonzaga looked impressive in one fight against Cro Crop, but Carwin isn't Cro Crop, and Gonzaga won't catch anyone by surprise anymore.

Sound familiar Bulldogs?

Round One now underway. Zags and Carwin fighting like brothers. Fight now gone to the ground, Gonzaga in advantage.

Up they come, down Gonzaga goes with an impressive left hook knockout from Carwin.

Gonzaga loses again. Not sure who his next opponent will be, but we're sure he will lose. He looked good early on, but what wins matters most, and he just didn't get the job done. He obviously can't sustain a fight that lasts longer than one round.

The Knockout of the Night race continues. Can Carwin cement status as top heavyweight title contender and steal Knockout of the Night honors from Hamill.

So far we've got

1. Hamill hammers Munoz
2. Grove surprises Day...nah
3. Carwin catches Gonzaga
4. Brown pounds Sell

Carwin now stands atop the clusterfuck heavyweight title rankings. Huge win, the biggest in Carwin's career. Swing fight McCrory and Ryan Madigan on now. Time to throw that Grove link back up.

Kendall Grove Grooves To Knockout Win, Remains Employed

We missed this fight when we spent countless minutes speaking with Hamill.

Grove needed to win to remain employed by UFC. Fast-paced action here. Kicks too much for Day. Fight lasts just one round.

Fortunately, we had our money on Grove, and we won. Next time we won't discount Da Spyder's now two-fight win streak or buy into days of Grove's UFC departure.

Grove begin all hot and heavy with Canadian Jason Day, scoring a nice left hook. grooving a barrage of punches to Days' dome, unleashing a doomsday assault on wait an unbelievable ref stoppage.

Rampage Jackson Named Cecil's Peoples Champion, Fights Evans for Belt at UFC 98

Evans chilling with Goldberg and Rogan pre-fight, telling us about his BFF Keith Jardine. Can't wait to see Rampage knock out Sugar Shad Evans. Fighting your friends makes for great television. Too bad we'll never pay it. Evans eliminated Jardine in TUF, but now they won't fight each other.

Big opportunity for Jardine to beat three former heavyweight champions. Nice raprock Tupac tunage blasts the Deam of Mean down to the Octagon.

Evans doing play by play ringside. Jarine really does have the longest goatee in UFC.

Time for Rampage. Anyone catch McCroy's post fight talk with Joe Rogan. Dana White refused to play McCroy's original music from his original band known as the Thunderbirds or something. Funny stuff.

My free Internet stream froze for a few minutes. It sucks listening to the commentary and watching no video. Hopefully stream syncs up soon.

Here we go. It's seem we DVR'd the pre-fight highlight package.

Rampage almost to ring side. Going full screen soon will have notes after.
Jackson. Jackson three years younger, but with shorter reach.

Bruce Buffer proclaims sponsors hard up for money in this bad economy. Give me a break, the UFC is immune to outside influences.

Jaridine lands quick jab to start round. Fight lock up, ref breaks them up. Heavy fists exchanged, Jardine catches first of many leg kicks. Jackson probably won't check them much this fight. seals unanimous decision

Fight could probably be score either way. We're scoring it 10-9 in favor of Rampage.

To quote good ole' JR, this slobberknock of a round could have gone either way. A flurry of punches from both fighters landed during the round. As you can see our live blog recap barely compares to our original live blog. Incredible action-packed round saw Jackson knockdown Jardine, then shoot him to the mat. Jardine reacted with solid positioning and excapability. Second round could have been called anyway. Evans agrees. We're score it in Jackson's favor. Final round will decide fate of light heavyweight title.

Rampage dominates early round minutes, Jardine comes back with desperate leg kicks and hopeful punches. He lands many of them, and had he not lost the first two rounds to Jackson, may have won this fight.

With less than five seconds left in the round, Jackson rushes a dazed, slouched over Jarine, jarring him with a left-right combo at times expires thus clinching the round, on way to his unanimous decision victory.

Cecil Peoples scores fight 30-27

Intense trash-talking pre-title fight hype between the UFC's top two light heavyweight fighters looks to increase black-on-black crime rates nation.

Rampage guarantees victory: "He wants his belt back"

Case you missed it, the two fighters replace Lesnar v. Mir II as main event title fight at UFC 98.

Brandon Vera still can't catch a break, as his bout with Mike Patt looks up next after all the surprising knockouts of the rest of the main card. Maybe fight ends specular, but judging from cards' previous fights, it's unlikely this fight can top them. Too much Truth much for Patt to handle. Vera credits Biggie Smalls for victory.

Our Awards:

Fight of the Night: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson v. "The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine"

Knockout of the Night: Matt Hamill v. Mark Munoz.

Submission of the Night: None we saw.

Staredown of the Night: Rampage Jackson and Rashad Evans

Post-Fight Interview of the Night: Tamdan McCrory demands Dana White play his own original Octagon entrance music.

And so concludes our undermanned UFC 96 live blogging experience. Hope you enjoyed our poor grammar and style structure. See you in two weeks for our Selection Sunday Live Blog, and then for UFC 97: Redemption.

Until...then