A Historic Day for the B/R Wrestling Community

Yesterday was one of the most historic and iconic days in the illustrious history of Bleacher Report.  Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourself because I am going to give you a play-by-play recap of the chaotic events that took place on Bleacher Report yesterday. 

You will not believe what you are about to read.  Here is a ground-breaking look into the events that occurred yesterday on Bleacher Report.  Timestamps are included!

7:01 A.M.—Joe Burgett wrote a breaking news article.

7:02 A.M.—Josh Swell wrote a Hulk Hogan breaking-news article to try and keep pace with Joe Burgett.

7:31 A.M.—Josh Swell, Kevin Canny, and Sam Brown marched directly into Zander Freund's office and demanded that the wrestling community rankings be updated immediately!  They all settled for bottled water instead.

9:01 A.M.—Breaking news on the identity of M: In a shocking development, M revealed himself to be none other than Carl Winslow off of the hit television show "Family Matters."

9:34 A.M.—Adrian Staehle set a record by putting up his 17th article of the day, and he did it all before brunch.

11:41 A.M.—A group known as the "Amazon Forums Posse" wreaked havoc on Bleacher Report. This group of thugs consisting of Jay Rob, Scotty Miller, and Joseph Daniel landed articles on the front page on the wrestling section in their debuts.  The Assassins better watch out!

12:59 P.M.—Breaking News: Joe Burgett was offered a contract by the WWE to manage ECW superstar Tyson Kidd.  According to my sources, Vince McMahon loved Joe Burgett's Tyson Kidd Bleacher Report article.

1:00 P.M.—Breaking News: Joe Burgett turned down WWE's contract to stay the top writer on Bleacher Report.  The B/R community embraced Joe Burgett with a "One More Year" chant.

1:01 P.M.—Joe Burgett wrote a breaking-news article about himself turning down a contract from the WWE.

1:02 P.M.—Josh Swell wrote a breaking-news Hulk Hogan article.  At this point, Josh Swell has changed his mind 12 times on whether or not Hulk Hogan will be in a match at WrestleMania XXV. 

2:02 P.M.—Breaking News: Shane Howard retired as a middle school teacher and is now working for Bleacher Report full-time!  It's about time Shane!

2:56 P.M.—Jason LeBlanc finished the longest article ever published on Bleacher Report.  The article maxed out at a whopping 176 pages!  Great article Goose!

4:44 P.M.—AkD wrote a very popular article, but we are all still trying to figure out what the title of the article means.  I love AkD's article titles!

6:33 P.M.—Ryan Michael rewrote the Bleacher Report thesaurus.

7:12 P.M.—Ray Bogusz set a Bleacher Report record by editing 3,412 articles in one day!  This man is a machine.

8:39 P.M.—Joe Burgett wrote a breaking-news article.

8:40 P.M.—Josh Swell wrote a Hulk Hogan breaking-news article. 

10:01 P.M.—Ron Johnson posted a SmackDown recap article with unbelievable quickness.  Look at the timestamp!  I am no wrestling genius, but I believe SmackDown goes off at 10.

11:12 P.M.—Adrian Staehle pumped out another eight articles before he called it a night.

11:58 P.M.—Josh Swell wrote a list/rankings article that ranked his Top 250 WCW Thursday Night Thunder matches of all-time.  The article currently has only two reads.

The purpose of this article was to demonstrate how much free time I have on my hands.

If I mentioned your name in this article, that is because I either like you or respect you as a writer.  It was all in good fun! 

And just so this article was not a complete waste of time, I read on prowrestling.net that Mr. Kennedy will not be returning to the ring until after WrestleMania XXV.

Thanks for reading,

Josh Swell (THE FUTURE)

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?