West Virginia Would Like You to Please Stop Lighting Your Couches on Fire

Adam Kramer@kegsneggsFeatured Columnist IVJune 23, 2016

When your university creates a very brief, lighthearted video discouraging the burning of couches, I think it’s safe to assume that there is indeed a couch inferno problem.

Morgantown, West Virginia is a beautiful college town filled with glorious fans that love their Mountaineers. Unfortunately, however, especially if you’re a couch, this town also celebrates its highs and lows by lighting everything—sofas in particular—on fire. Dumpsters, I'm sorry, but you too are also in the line of fire when it comes to this routine.

Last year the university significantly raised the penalties for upholstery arson, and now they’re taking a lighter approach to discourage this behavior. 

West Virginia fans, on behalf of all couches I ask you to please stop the fabric violence. Take the advice of your bearded mascot and leave these wonderful seating devices alone.

Now dinner tables on the other hand. Well, those are fair game.

[hat tip CBS]

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