The 11-Second Shot Clock

Every Wilbon has its Kornheiser. My Kornheiser, aka brother, who has asked to be referred to as “Dubaku” from here on out, will now help melt the ice with this mind-boggling interview.

I will ask him 11 relatively important questions regarding sports, sports, and more sports.

Lucky for you, and because of my love for numbers, letters and punctuation, I will share a twinkle of my brilliance on said questions following his nonsense-filled responses.

Prior to reading, I suggest you take a sip of water and clear your medulla oblongata. The following information will need 100 percent focus to fully understand the immortal hypocrisy, which borders the monumental 75-show streak that Ken Jennings exhibited on Jeopardy.

Side note: When I asked him why he wished to be referred to as Dubaku, he simply stated, with a straight face and one flared eyebrow, imitating The Rock, “It’s in the mirrors.” Well, as the French say, “Touché, mate.”

So, without Freddy Adu, enjoy.

1. Who is your MVP, Kobe or LeBron?

Dubaku: Since this question is limited to just those two and not CP3, D-Wade, Superman, or Zaza Pachulia, I’m going to go with LBJ. Mainly because of his resemblance to the other LBJ, No. 36. The King also does more for his team, while Kobe is surrounded by greater talent.

I can’t remember the last time I thought the East was better than the West; and I still don’t, especially after the All-Star game whopping. Since LeBron has his team playing well, with an almost identical record to the Lakers, I give him the edge over Kobe.

But let this be heard, this race is closer than a Tony Danza vs. Sylvester Stallone pronunciation contest.

Dan T.: One word, “Mo Williams.” Mo, if you’re reading this, please accept my apology on behalf of my brother, Dubaku. His obsession with the colors yellow and purple must be worse than we had previously suspected.

In 51 games this season, Mo is averaging 17 points-per-game and four assists, along with 40 percent from three-point land and 93 percent from the charity stripe. If anybody is hauling a bag of 3D Doritos around the court with him, it’s Kobe, not LBJ.

Not to mention, the Beast from the Middle East Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Afroman Ben Wallace, surely do not hurt your teams hopes.

Kobe takes the boat if the race is just between these two Jordan hopefuls. Nevertheless, neither deserves MVP as much as Kevin Garnett. His “Anything is possible!” rant after last years championship clincher was so touching that I have already awarded him MVP for the next five seasons.

It’s surely a bummer that my vote for MVP carries less weight than a bag full of nothing.

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