Terrell, can I call you Terrell? Its time for a frank discussion, friend. It seems you have worn out your welcome once again. I guess this star among stars has finally burned out.
What happened to the Terrell Owens I knew as a Niner, shaking pom poms, whipping out sharpies? You know, the adorable sideshow act you once were, not the malcontent you currently are.
I, as well as many other Eagles fans, greeted you with open arms in 2004 only to have you storm out on us. As a consequence, your name or rather your initials are mud in these parts.
As a Cowboy, we initially loved to hate you, but as time passed, you became an ineffectual nothing in the Eagles-Cowboys rivalry. Now, left without a team, take some pearls of wisdom.
First, dump Rodenthaus, I mean Rosenhaus. Any good character rehabilitation starts with the people you surround yourself with. Cut ties with your egocentric partner in crime and maybe your luck with your next team will change.
Second, don't be Manny. In these tough economic times, show you have a heart and take the veteran minimum or if you are not that willing, donate your signing bonus to charity. Think of it as scoring millions of touchdowns in the Texas Stadium Salvation Army bucket.
Third, accept that you are 35 years old and act like it. I know, ultimately, we never leave the sandbox, but its about time you take your pail and shovel and leave the kiddie business behind.
Follow these simple adjustments and you can ride off into the sunset of your career with a shred of dignity. Oh, who am I kidding? Enjoy your time in Oakland.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!