"Hello? Yeah, can I speak to Tom…Tom O’Connor please?"
"Sure, tell him it’s Mike Brey from Notre Dame."
"No, he’s not expecting my call."
"Hey, Tom."
"Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you, too."
"Yeah, hey Tom, I’m gonna cut to the chase here. Whose idea of a cruel joke was it to give us George Mason in the first round?"
"Don’t give me that line. Lightning can strike twice. Lorranga has five guys left over from the team that won over everyone’s hearts.
"Two of ‘em—Will Thomas and Folarin Campbell—were starters in ’06. Campbell scored double figures in all the tournament games. Thomas was player-of-the-game when they beat Michigan State and Wichita St. Everyone in Denver is gonna be pulling for them."
"Are you kidding me? The Colonial has been a killer the last couple of years. You remember what VCU did to Duke last year? To make matters worse, if we survive, we get Washington St. or Winthrop."
"We’re gonna need new jock straps if we play Bennett’s kids, ‘cause they are in their opponents’ every night."
The Cougars are allowing teams only 56.5 points per game, and they take care of the ball averaging only 10.3 turnovers per game.
"Don’t even try and tell me the Pac-10 is down this year. You know as well as I that conference is stacked from top to bottom."
"And then Winthrop? My kids are still wincing from that one last year. The Eagles have been to the tournament three years in a row now. They won’t be so starry-eyed anymore. And Winthrop is limiting opponents to 58 points per game."
"How do I know? It’s my job to know these stats."
"What?"
"Yeah, I don’t know why Marshall hasn’t moved on from Winthrop—six trips to the dance and all."
"On top of all that, you give us UNC to deal with."
"Oh yeah, Luke against Hansbrough could be a great matchup; I’d just rather see it in the Elite Eight or Final Four"
"We are a Final Four team!"
"Look we won 14 games in our league. We’re No. 1 in the nation with 18.9 assists per game. Our assist to turnover ratio 1.46—second in the nation, and our rebound margin is 5.8; good for 20th in the country."
"Yeah, I know that means we can hang with big boys, but could you at least let us get out of the gate?"
"Back to Psycho-T. What is up with that kid? I mean he’s got this sort of Brett Favre love-fest thing going. Even Casey is giving him props over on the Clipboard. What is up with that?
"You know it’s bad when a guy who bleeds Duke Blue rates him as the best. All I can get is this guy Wally talking about my players. He such a homer his last name should be Simpson. He thinks McAlarney is a point guard. Man he’s gotta get with it."





2 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Mike Eagan about 1 year ago
No doubt the Committee is playing some kind of sick joke on the Irish. As if being paired with a vastly underrated Winthrop team in the first round last year weren't enough, they draw this as an encore this year.
Though, on second thought, maybe Mr. Brey should actually win a game in Madison Square Garden before he protests too much...
Great article.
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Emily Hartig about 1 year ago
Cute way to make your point. I liked it! :)
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