Where have all the monsters gone?
Brodus Clay would rather dance, Kane would rather hug it out and The Big Show is...well, he's The Big Show.
It seems no one is really striking fear into the hearts of babyfaces and children in the WWE today.
Most heels now are of the chicken kind, too afraid to stand up for themselves in a fair fight.
There is one man, though, who fears no one.
As soon as he's ready, WWE needs to bring back their best monster heel in years and put him on the warpath.
Mark Henry is close to returning to TV, and it's time to bring the Hall of Pain back with him.
It took Henry a long time, but he finally became a compelling TV character. After being misused for years, WWE figured it out the best way to push him would be as a no-nonsense badass.
It seemed obvious, but they finally came to their senses.
Hopefully WWE doesn't make the mistake of making him a babyface upon his return. For some reason, they tend to do this when a heel has been out of action for awhile. Just look at Layla and Christian, and see how well their inexplicable turns worked out for them.
WWE needs a dominant heel. They are already overloaded with unstoppable babyfaces. John Cena, Sheamus, Ryback and Randy Orton have no equals on the heel side.
In a fair fight, there's virtually no one on the entire roster who can oppose them.
That's where Mark Henry should come in.
He could immediately move into a feud with Cena or Sheamus, and fans would actually believe their heroes are in danger.
His promos aren't phenomenal, but they don't have to be. They're believable. He looks angry. He looks like he wants to tear you in half, and that's all they need from him.
It's simple, but it works.
Henry is currently 41 years old. Due to his age and injury history, there probably isn't a ton of matches left in him. WWE shouldn't waste any time on making him a meaningful character again.
The ratings were good while he was the champion on SmackDown, and then he suffered an unfortunate groin injury. Vince overreacted and decided to take the title off him way too soon.
His character never fully recovered, and WWE seemed to punish him. He lost multiple times to Big Show and Sheamus. The worst part is his losses weren't even treated as a big deal.
When Henry returns, it needs to mean something. With five hours of first-run prime-time programming, WWE needs all the fresh matches they can get. Henry can provide that, and he does his job well.
Let's hope WWE has gotten over whatever their deal was with Henry and are ready to use him right again.
It's time to open the Hall of Pain for business again. Hopefully there are plenty of WWE wrestlers lining up for it right now.