It’s bad luck. It’s poor coaching. Replacement refs. Voodoo. Curses.
Ever tweeted at a player angrily after they played poorly?
Ever been irritable and rude because you’re 0-2 in your fantasy football league?
These are the players you should be mad at.
Here they are and here’s some Bright Side sunshine on their dire situations.
Remember, all scores are ESPN Standard Scoring.
Chris Johnson, RB Tennessee Titans, 2 points:
Eight rushes for 17 yards and two catches for 11 yards, off of three targets.
We’re about two weeks away from calling this the “Chris Johnson Fantasy Disappointment List”. After a dismal 2011 season, most pundits and fans blamed his preseason holdout for his lack of production. What should we blame it on this year?
Basically, if you believed his hype going into the year, if you thought he would be a huge fantasy comeback player, so far that hasn’t happened. With Detroit, Houston, Minnesota, Pittsburgh coming up next for the Titans, Chris Johnson can’t be seen as a must-start against any of those teams.
@FauxJohnMadden "BREAKING: Chris Johnson having a hard time leaving his house because his car is 20 yards away from his door."
What would you do with Chris Johnson?
Bright Side: See if you can dupe someone that doesn't really follow football into trading you someone for him. Take a kicker, take Blaine Gabbert, they score more than Chris Johnson.
Jamaal Charles, RB Kansas City Chiefs, 1 point:
Six rushes for three yards and three receptions for 19.
Charles apparently re-injured his surgically repaired left knee on Sunday. Going into the season as an injury risk coming off of an ACL tear, I’m decently positive every one of his owners gasped when he took a large hit on Sunday.
He shares a crowded backfield with Peyton Hillis and the emerging Shaun Draughn, but he is the Chiefs most talented rusher and is well versed in the Chiefs’ fledgling pass attack.
Bright Side: For the remainder of the game, Charles rode a recumbent bicycle on the sideline and apparently badgered his coaches with requests to reenter the game. Chiefs Head Coach Romeo Crennel said he will be probably available for Sunday’s matchup with the Saints, a favorable matchup for a star running back.
Steven Jackson, RB St. Louis Rams, 5 points:
Nine rushes for 58 yards.
No passing targets and being mysteriously benched in the second quarter after spiking the ball, warranted an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty against him. After the game, it was determined that he had a groin injury.
An MRI came back negative and he is expected to play on Sunday against Chicago.
Unfortunately for Jackson and his fantasy owners, backup Daryl Richardson filled in well, having 100 total yards. Rams Head Coach Jeff Fisher said that Jackson could have re-entered the game if Richardson had started playing poorly, but the Rams were fine without him, and the utilization of Sam Bradford to Danny Amendola may become their go-to tactic on offense.
Bright Side: He should play on Sunday. The Bears are tough against the run but Jackson is the best offensive option the Rams have; the only caveat being if the Rams get down early in this game, they may have to throw their way out of it—essentially taking Jackson out of the offense.
Josh Morgan, WR Washington Redskins, 5 points:
#Morganing is a hashtag. There’s a twitter account called @JoshMorganing. There’s another one called @ReleaseMorgan. Morgan has gotten death threats and threats against his family. He had a bad Sunday.
On five receptions on five targets for 50 yards, it wasn’t the numbers that were disappointing; it was the Cortland Finnegan retaliation ball-throw, costing his team 15 yards and a shot at a game -ying 47 yard field goal into a 62-yard joke. Obviously things went on in this game that lost it for the Redskins, but this is the most blatant one.
Bright Side: If Kyle Williams fumbles twice in the NFC Title game and is allowed back the following season to return punts for the same team, Morgan can overcome this. This was a Week 2 game against the Rams. People will get over it and with Pierre Garcon still questionable, Morgan may see more and more targets.
Michael Turner, RB Atlanta Falcons, 10 points:
You may say, “Hmm 10 points, not bad,” but on 17 rushes for only 42 yards and a touchdown, Turner’s night was deceivingly average. The Falcons have begun to develop an “Air-Raid” style of offense led by Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Roddy White.
Turner, the second person on this list two weeks in a row, has gone from the centerpiece in a necessary run game, to being used as the obligatory run game to open up the passing game. Teams no longer have the every-down back, and Turner has become one of those who are becoming fantasy football irrelevant.
Oh yeah, he was pulled over and arrested after driving his Audi R8 97 MPH in a 65 MPH zone at 4:00 a.m. the morning after his Monday Night Football victory.
@FauxJohnMadden "Michael Turner's breathalyzer results were higher than his yards per carry."
Bright Side: Who knows if he’ll be suspended for his DUI. Who knows if he’ll be penalized by the NFL or his team. but it would take a pretty awful looking team for me to start Michael Turner. How’s that for a Bright Side?
Is it a Lambeau Curse? Is Jerkface (a name affectionately bestowed upon Cutler by Bears fans) an arrogant idiot? Does he just not show up in big games?
Marshall dropped a gimme touchdown pass. That’s no good. Two receptions for 24 yards on five targets.
Cutler got sacked seven times and threw four interceptions against the Packers. That’s no good. He went 11-for-27 for 126 yards and a touchdown. Against the Packers alone in his career, Cutler is 1-7 with 8 touchdowns and 16 interceptions and 28 sacks. The Bears have lost 5 straight games in Green Bay.
Cutler and Marshall are supposed to be reunited since their days in Denver and feeling so good. They shellacked the Colts, but they’re the Colts. The issue with Cutler and the Bears is his lack of a trademark win.
Everyone seems to hate his honesty with the press, they hate him bumping and yelling at an offensive lineman during the Packers meltdown. The only thing potentially stopping the vitriol towards his demeanor is one thing: A Ring.
Tom Brady yells at Bill O’Brien, Peyton Manning yells at coaches and is smug in press conferences. Brett Favre had many, let’s call them, quirks. Cutler does all of these things but he isn’t backed up by a signature win and until he gets that, the perception of Jerkface will continue.
How do you want your quarterback to act?
Bright Side: The Gruesome Twosome has been great together and will be great together. Cutler is awful against the Packers, but against the Rams he should be back to his gunslinging (with less picks) ways and Marshall is his go-to guy.
Week 2 Redeem Team:
We all like to see players go from single to double digits. Here are a few players that turned our frown upside down in Week 2.
Victor Cruz, WR New York Giants, 23 points:
11 receptions for 179 yards and a touchdown is rock solid. Yeah he had five points last week but 23>5. Math isn’t hard. We all knew he had it in him. Salsa for everyone!
Trent Richardson, RB Cleveland Browns, 25 points:
Five points last week is not good. 19 rushes for 109 yards and a touchdown and four receptions for 36 yards and a touchdown. Up against the Bills this week, who make Shonn Greene look good, it’s time to buy what Trent’s selling.
Justin Tucker, K Baltimore Ravens, 16 points:
Back-to-Back 16 point weeks. He can sure kick it. I’m so glad I drafted him before Chris Johnson.
Vincent Jackson, WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 18 points:
Five receptions for 128 yards and a touchdown. A Matthew Berry trademarked “Fantasy Whack-A-Mole,” VJax is hit or miss every week. But four points to 18 points is just fine, but don’t be surprised if he scores 2-ish this week.
Michael Vick, QB Philadelphia Eagles, 21 points:
He’s STILL not hurt! Take advantage of his health while you still can.