Niles Paul has me all jelly face.
I can't help but be just a tad bit jealous of his new piece of swag, an official Capri Sun straw with his name and number on it.
The Washington Post reports the Redskins receiver was having a little problem keeping all his delicious Capri Suns to himself.
Other players were threatening to steal the tasty drinks.
Here is what he told The Washington Post: "I didn’t get no Strawberry Kiwis, though. I have a lot at the house and I didn’t want to bring them to the room or up here [to practice] because they’re gonna drink them all."
The good people over at Capri Sun caught wind of all this and made sure no drink would ever get stolen from Paul again.
They sent the fruit-drink aficionado a letter that read:
We here at Capri Sun are very distressed to learn about the threat of juice-induced larceny committed against one of our drinkers. So we called in some of our most astute packaging engineers and developed a fail-safe method of protection, custom tailored for you.
The package came with a bunch of juices with no straws attached. But they also equipped him with a, "silver straw of his own, complete with his name and number engraved on it. The straw came in its own padded case."
The best part of the report is what Paul had to say when showing his grand prize.
"That’s what’s up."
I love me some Capri Sun beverages as well, and I currently have some Coastal Coolers cold-chillin' in the freezer at the moment—a perfect frozen treat.
So I respect the gangster of any and all people who know how delicious these things can be, but there is no room for Capri Sun thieves.
I'd like to see some of his teammates try to do the impossible and drink a Capri Sun without the complimentary and iconic yellow straw.
If you need Paul, he will be sipping on some Kiwi Strawberry like a king.
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