Real Madrid: Seven Movie Characters Who Epitomize Jose Mourinho
His latest "Hollywood moment," came near the end of Tuesday night's Champions League clash with Manchester City, with his melodramatic slide to celebrate the denouement of a Blockbuster game of football.
Who can forget his legend-making run down the tunnel at the climax of Porto's epic triumph at Old Trafford in 2004, or his villainous eye-poke on the helpless Tito Vilanova last season?
Who was to know the innocent Vilanova would become Barcelona boss only months later?
Here are seven characters from legendary films whose personalities match that of the Real coach, for better or worse.
And who knows, maybe the tale of the controversial Mourinho will one day be told on the big screen...
Detective Alonzo Harris
Movie: Training Day
Key Quote: "King Kong ain't got s**t on me!" ("I think I’m a special one"—Mourinho, 2004)
Mourinho, the: Egotist
Similar because: Egos don't get much bigger than that of Detective Alonzo Harris, who considers himself the "King Kong" of the metaphorical jungle.
Similarly, Jose Mourinho's opinion of himself has always been high to say the least, and if asked who he honestly thought was the best manager in world, I'm sure the Madrid coach would say, "me."
Movie: The Godfather Trilogy
Key Quote: "Your enemies always get strong on what you leave behind." ("The more pressure there is, the stronger I am"—Mourinho, 2010)
Mourinho, the: Manipulator
Similar because: A shadowy figure of manipulation and control, Michael Corleone holds all the strings, drawing his enemies in, then striking at the most opportune moment.
Mourinho plays the mind games in the press conferences. Whether it's criticising or praising his foes, you cannot help but feel that every word that comes out of his mouth is deliberate and premeditated.
Movie: Conspiracy Theory
Key Quote: "I'm only paranoid because they want me dead." ("I don't know if it's the advertising for Unicef. I don't know if it's UEFA. It must be difficult to get this power"—Mourinho, 2011)
Mourinho, the: Paranoid
Similar because: Mel Gibson's paranoid nut Jerry Fletcher believes the world is out to get him, and he wont stop until he's gotten to the bottom of every rumour, theory or piece of gossip concerning Government officials.
When he's not blaming Unicef for his team's past troubles, Mourinho has pointed to pretty much every higher power as being "in" on a conspiracy to foil his teams.
Movie: Cheaper by the Dozen
Key Quote: "I promise you. We will be a happier, stronger family." ("The players are my family and they have a leader that protects them"—Mourinho, 2011)
Mourinho, the: Father
Similar because: Tom Baker may be unpopular with his massive brood at times, but at the end of the day, all of his twelve children appreciate the excellent father figure that he is.
Jose Mourinho too certainly has had bust-ups with his "family," but very few of his former players talk about the coach with anything less than an admiration befitting a father figure.
Movie: Star Wars
Key Quote: "A young Jedi named Darth Vader was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil. Vader was seduced by the dark side of the Force." ("The club bought [Adrian Mutu] to be ready to play football and now he will be out of competition for a long period"—Mourinho, 2004)
Mourinho, the: Mentor
Similar because: A fountain of infinite knowledge, Obi-Wan is a mentor to those less-learned in the ways of the force. Those who have the old Jedi as their teacher must consider themselves very lucky indeed.
Jose Mourinho too has guided and helped shape the careers of many, but like Obi-Wan and Vader, he was unable to curb the bad habits of the misguided Adrian Mutu.
Wait, did I just compare Darth Vader with Adrain Mutu???
Movie: Pride and Prejudice
Key Quote: "I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before." ("It is not normal to sell an image of perfection, because at the end of the day nobody is perfect"—Mourinho, 2012)
Mourinho, the: Misunderstood
Similar because: One for the literary buffs. In the adapted movie Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy is written off by everyone as a pompous, arrogant, proud sort of man with few redeeming features.
Perhaps when we reflect on the career of Jose Mourinho, like Darcy, opinions of him will be completely reversed, and he'll be hailed as one of the most caring, generous individuals to ever grace the game.
Key Quote: "Yo Adrian, we did it!" ("I dedicate this to my family, friends and all Madridistas"—Mourinho, 2012)
Mourinho, the: Winner
Similar because: Rocky Balboa seems to win just about every big fight. With the odds stacked firmly against him, the unconventional fighter heaves one, last big swing to down his opponent at the death.
Although he likes to play the part in every movie, Rocky is no underdog. He's beaten Apollo Creed, a communist and Mr. T, and yet people still manage to write him off.
Jose Mourinho may believe the world is against him, but in truth, it's only because most of us are just bored of him winning pretty much every fight.
What do you think? Which movie hero or villain does Jose Mourinho most resemble?
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