WWE: John Laurinaitis' 10 Best Lines as an On-Screen Character
I miss John Laurinaitis.
Though I never thought I'd ever find myself typing that, I guess the saying that "you never know how much you miss something until it's gone" is indeed true.
While Laurinaitis took up far too much TV time during his runs as the interim Raw GM and full-time GM of both Raw and SmackDown, he managed to evolve into perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious character in recent WWE history.
His knack for botching lines and his dry humor turned him into one of my favorite characters in the WWE over the last couple of years, and though I'm still not sure if his botches were purposely done or he was just that bad, I still like to reminisce about the big galoot.
So today, let's celebrate John Laurinaitis with a look at his 10 best lines as an on-screen character.
Note: I'm sure there are some lines I may have overlooked, so be sure to include any you can think of in the comments section below.
10. Laurinaitis Doesn't Know His Job Title
Just about every time John Laurinaitis got on the mic, he let us all know what his job title was.
But perhaps someone should have reminded Laurinaitis what his job actually was because he often completely forgot.
When mocking CM Punk's entrance on an episode of Raw in Punk's hometown of Chicago, Big Johnny informed us that he was "the Executive Vice President of Monday Night Raw."
Really, Johnny? I wasn't aware that that was an actual job title.
Oh, that's right. You meant that you were "the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations" and Raw GM, didn't you?
9. "You Kinda Stole My Stuff"
On the May 14th edition of Raw, John Cena was being even goofier than he usually is, continuously interrupting John Laurinaitis by yelling "looooseerrr" directly in Laurinaitis' face.
Big Johnny was his usual great self here, though, seemingly not worrying about Cena calling him a loser and instead informing Cena that "The Champ" took one of his lines right out of his mouth.
"You kinda stole my stuff," Laurinaitis told Cena, who apparently said something about the Pittsburgh Penguins that he had already planned on saying.
I sincerely doubt that Laurinaitis was actually going to say that, but he's Big Johnny, a promo genius. Maybe he really was going to, after all.
Just kidding, y'all.
8. "My Word Is as Good as Gold"
As we all know, John Laurinaitis developed into one of the most notorious heels in recent wrestling history.
Heels, of course, are known for not exactly being the most truthful people out there, but Laurinaitis often tried to act as if he were the most fair and truthful GM in WWE history.
Obviously, that wasn't true. But that didn't stop Big Johnny from uttering one of the funniest lines of his WWE run when trying to get Christian to join his WrestleMania team.
He told Captain Charisma, "My word is as good as gold."
Yeah, Johnny, and your mic work is among the greatest in WWE history, too.
7. Future Endeavors
WWE.com has become famous, or perhaps infamous, for posting this little message whenever a superstar is released:
"WWE has come to terms on the release of WWE Superstar ______ as of Monday, (Date) . We wish ________ the best in all future endeavors."
When John Laurinaitis became the storyline GM on Raw, he began being associated with the "future endeavors" line because of his real-life role in WWE's talent relations department.
So, it was only fitting when Big Johnny used the notorious "future endeavors" line when John Morrison parted ways with the WWE.
And, of course, he did so like only Johnny Ace can.
6. "That's People Power"
John Laurinaitis had a name for his era as Raw's GM.
It wasn't "The Big Johnny Era" or "The Johnny Ace Era." No, it was, as we all know, the era of "People Power."
Although that phrase didn't exactly fit with the way that Laurinaitis actually ran Monday Night Raw, that's precisely what made the way he said it so damn entertaining.
Here's to People Power!
5. "Let's Take a Picture"
During a heated Raw segment involving Alberto Del Rio, The Miz and WWE Champion CM Punk, John Laurinaitis must have wanted to lighten the mood a bit.
Instead of worrying about the WWE title picture or doing something to, you know, advance a storyline, Laurinaitis decided it was time for a group photo.
After all, nothing screams pro wrestling like a GM wanting three rivals to pose for a photo together, right?
4. "You're out of Line!"
When John Laurinaitis was Raw's GM, he didn't exactly get along with the show's top star, John Cena.
The two often found themselves at odds, and Cena often found himself mocking Laurinaitis for everything from his days as a wrestler to his voice.
Laurinaitis naturally always took offense to Cena mocking him, however, and on one occasion, this resulted in one of Big Johnny's most classic lines: "You're out of line!"
Raise your hand if you were intimated by Laurinaitis when he screamed that one out.
Looking...still looking...OK, no one? That's what I thought.
3. WWE What?
One of the WWE's favorite things to do is refer to its fans as the "WWE Universe" rather than simply calling them fans.
But perhaps the company should have just stuck with "fans" for John Laurinaitis' sake.
Clearly, he doesn't know how to say the word "universe."
2. Laurinaitis Congratulates the Miz
One of the attractions of WrestleMania 28 was a battle between Teddy Long's team of babyfaces and John Laurinaitis' team of heels to determine who would be the GM of both Raw and SmackDown.
It was Team Johnny vs. Team Johnny.
The last WWE superstar to make it onto Laurinaitis' squad was The Miz, but for some reason, Big Johnny seemed to think that The Miz had actually made it onto Team Teddy.
Oh, the hilarity.
1. "Don't Make Me Take Off My Jacket!"
In 2011, CM Punk had a lengthy rivalry with Alberto Del Rio, but often crossed paths with John Laurinaitis and his legal counsel David Otunga.
When all four men appeared in a backstage segment on Raw, a brawl erupted after Punk decked Otunga with a huge punch.
Del Rio then showed up, and he and Punk brawled as Laurinaitis tried to break it up.
That's when Big Johnny uttered my favorite line of his entire run as GM: "Don't make me take off my jacket!"
I'm sure Punk and ADR were very intimated, big guy.
Drake Oz is a WWE Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter!