There are no guarantees in life, although that line itself sounds like a guarantee of sorts. But today, I'm giving you five guarantees, one for each team that I expected to lose its regular-season opener.
Yes, one of those teams is (again) Cleveland. You've been here before, haven't you? The Browns' defense actually looks great and managed to intercept Michael Vick four times before losing by a single point.
As good as the defense is, the offense is that bad, as Brandon Weeden posted a paltry 5.1 quarterback rating in that game. I'm not entirely sure how that QB rating works, but I'm pretty sure that single digits are bad.
Philadelphia, coincidentally, also makes the guaranteed list this week. Michael Vick wasn't able to create against that D, but more significantly, LeSean McCoy doesn't really have any help in the backfield. A second quality rusher to spell McCoy, who had 20 carries Sunday, might have been enough for Philly to close out that game for good.
To get my other guarantees for Week 2, you've gotta watch the video. And if you actually called the 1-900-BLEACHER number from last week's post, shame on you. That was just a gag. But do check out all of my guarantees in my latest video above, and leave your own team guaranteed to lose in the comments.
Thanks for watching.