What I Loved and Hated in College Football Week 2
Despite an underwhelming slate of games, Week 2 of the college football season did not disappoint.
The Pac-12 drove its 1989 Camaro onto our front lawn, parked it, got out and proceeded to smoke three cigarettes. It didn’t move, and we didn’t ask.
Meanwhile, the Big Ten ripped its favorite pair of pants at the dinner table and the entire room could hear it. We laughed—it was hard not to—and now it'll spend the better part of the next week wondering how exactly that happened and if the neighbors are “judging” it.
As for Arkansas, well, the Hogs just got a flat tire on a back road while dressed entirely in costume on their way to a KISS concert—the most unfortunate of circumstances.
You know these outcomes by now, but there’s a good chance you missed some of the “finer” things from Week 2, including: a band member that smashed his trumpet, a keg dressed up as R2-D2 and a questionable tailgating message from a new SEC team.
Here’s what I LOVED and HATED in Week 2.
LOVED: This Cincinnati Trumpet Player’s Dedication
The pregame entrance did not go as planned, and this Cincinnati trumpet player went down HARD on his stadium's final steps.
One would think that this would be a bad omen for the rest of the night, but then again it helps when you’re playing Pitt. In fact, this video is a solid demonstration of what the Panthers O-line did all evening.
Although this young man’s trumpet was no longer functional, that didn’t matter. He sucked up his pride, got back in the appropriate position and continued on with the routine without having a key portion of his trumpet.
And so “Trumpet Like a Champion Today” was born.
HATED: This Iowa Monkey’s Prediction
Confused? I know. We’re all a little bit distraught knowing that monkeys in the Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines just can’t predict college football outcomes like we thought they could.
The Japanese macaques had their choice of picking a barrel with the Iowa logo or going once again (they picked it last year) with the familiar Cyclone. They knocked over the Hawkeye barrel for their 2012 prediction, and Iowa responded by…not scoring a touchdown.
They also lost—if you weren’t aware of that already—to their rival Iowa State, proving once and for all that Des Moines monkeys would be terrible gamblers.
LOVED: This LSU R2-D2 Keg
I’m sure you think you’re one of the best tailgaters in the country, and quite frankly, who am I to tell you otherwise? You probably have a handful of wonderful traditions that dazzle friends on Saturday morning, and you’re “that guy” in a good way.
Not “that guy” that doesn’t get invited back. Please don’t ever be “that guy.”
Chances are, however, you’ve never taken a keg, turned it into R2-D2 and brought it to a tailgate. That’s what these LSU fans did, and the team responded by absolutely manhandling the Washington Huskies.
The force is strong here, VERY strong.
HATED: This Missouri Tailgating Disclaimer
On the other end of the tailgating spectrum is this Missouri trash can, which was tweeted out by a handful of fans and writers on the Missouri campus for their game against the Georgia Bulldogs on Saturday night.
I love you, Mizzou, but this is not very SEC of you. Not. One. Bit.
Are we encouraging you to drink as many beers as possible when you tailgate? Absolutely not. Should you be counting your drink intake somewhat awkwardly in public? I certainly hope not. There's a balance here of responsible excess that we tailgating professionals have down.
We get it, Mizzou. We’ve seen the “don’t drink and drive” commercials where the guy is driving around in a martini up to his eyeballs. We know better. Also, do I think “most” Tiger fans enjoyed only zero to four beverages on Saturday?
Um...well...see the thing is...
LOVED: Southern Utah's 1st-Half Hail Mary
For a while, Jeff Tedford’s hot seat went from “oh, that’s really warm” to “PLEASE SOMEONE DOUSE ME IN ANYTHING THAT’S NOT FIRE.” Southern Utah hung with Cal for a while in large part because of this play that came at the end of the first half.
Wide receiver Cameron Morgan is the player that came down with the grab, and he did so in rather outstanding fashion. Two defenders on him, one hand, falling out of bounds—it didn’t matter, Morgan hauled this one as he was heading to the ground.
Southern Utah ended up giving up 51 points and losing this one, but this was a highlight worth celebrating. Also: Jeff Tedford’s hot seat has been downgraded to “HOT, HOT, HOT BUT NOT AS HOT. STILL NEED WATER, THOUGH.”
HATED: That This Kansas State Trick Play Didn’t Work
If you’ve been searching long and hard for the greatest 19-yard loss in the history of football, look no further. Kansas State has you covered.
This was pretty much the only thing that didn’t work for K-State on Saturday in their beatdown of Miami, but if you’re going to mess things up horribly on the goal line, you should absolutely do so in hilariously awesome fashion.
It looked like a QB sneak, then it looked like a Tebow jump pass, and then the behind-the-back effort was attempted, and the whole thing fell apart. They likely will never try this play again (nor should they), but I would absolutely love to see it.
LOVED (and Will Continue to LOVE): The Stat Lines of De’Anthony Thomas
We’ve seen just a shade over a full season of Oregon speedster De’Anthony Thomas, although it feels like much longer than that. In this relatively short amount of time, we’ve learned one simple thing: When he touches the ball, he’s probably going to score or at least flip the field.
On Saturday, he carried the ball seven times for 102 yards (a 14.6-yard average) and two scores. He also had four catches for 26 yards. For the season, he has 10 carries for 166 yards, eight catches for 81 yards and five TDs overall.
For his career, he’s averaging 11.7 (!!!) yards per carry and 12.7 yards per catch. On the 119 offensive touches he’s had in his career, he’s found the end zone on 21 of them. That’s absolutely ridiculous, and you need to be watching him every time he touches the ball.
HATED: To Have to Tackle Ben Malena
Florida safety Josh Evans, meet Texas A&M running back Ben Malena. I’m sure you guys will get to know each other well…oh my. Josh? Did you get the number of that train? What a hit.
In all seriousness, we hope Evans is OK, and it sounds like he won’t miss any time, which is very good news. That was one heck of a collision, and it was clear that he was rattled (as we all would be) shortly after.
On the topic of hits and a much more serious note, I want to pass along my thoughts and prayers to Tulane safety Devon Walker, who fractured his spine in the team’s game yesterday.
He underwent surgery on Sunday and is in stable condition after what was a terrifying sight on the field. He will be evaluated in the coming days and weeks, and we (obviously) wish him nothing but the best.
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