Triple H Cuts His Hair: The 10 Most Heartbreaking Haircuts in WWE History
Long hair and professional wrestling go together like DUIs and professional wrestling.
One will find it impossible to draw up a list of the greatest professional wrestlers of all-time without coming across a nice, long mane of flowing hair that charismatically whips back into the air with every worked punch absorbed by the icon in question.
Even Stone Cold Steve Austin—legendary for his bald disposition—once had long hair.
But with WWE COO Triple H completing the corporate transformation by shaving his signature long hair shortly after fake retiring, an unsettling trend is beginning to overtake the wrestling world as commitments to the hairstyles that have come to brand some of the all-time greats are beginning to wane to the sound of our hearts breaking.
10. Kevin Nash Loses to Jericho, Shaves Head. World Weaps
Kevin Nash became one of the WWE's biggest stars in the 1990's as Diesel, the imposing bodyguard turned WWE Champion who sported a mullet before letting it grow out into something that didn't make him look like a roadie for Lynyrd Skynyrd.
After losing a hair vs. hair match to Chris Jericho, Nash cut his hair, ending over a decade of jet-black utopia.
Nash has since sported the short-haired look more often than not over the years, with the controversial star recently shaving his head shortly after filming a serviceable role in the sleeper hit Magic Mike.
9. Vince McMahon Goes Bald for a Buyrate
Vince McMahon's haircut wasn't as heartbreaking as it was hilarious, but it was always fun to speculate whether or not he was wearing a toupee.
That speculaton died along with McMahon's middle-aged pompador at WrestleMania 23—which produced the highest WWE buyrate of all time—when he lost a gimmick match to Donald Trump in the Battle of the Billionaires.
Bald Vince couldn't have been an encouraging sign for WWE subjects seeking guidance from sports entertainment's greatest dictator. He looked more like Voldemort after Harry Potter defeated him, thus draining him of his powers.
8. Chris Jericho Gradually Completes the Hair Heel Turn
Chris Jericho was humane enough to ease us into his eventual short hair look through multiple haircuts that decreased his hair in length while increasing in intensity.
After years of donning the rocker look equipped with long, blonde hair, Jericho was all but buzzed by the time he had returned to the WWE in 2007.
7. Et Tu, Rick Rude?
Long hair Ravishing Rick Rude was so much more risque' than short hair Ravishing Rick Rude. Something about the short-hair with the mustache just wasn't 80's porn star, namely because he embraced the look in the 90's.
6. Shawn Michaels Gives Us a Scare; Grows Back His Hair
In the dark, desolate world of disappearing "dos" in what is becoming the Great Hair Depression, Shawn Michaels is our Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
In fact, Michaels is so serious about staying true to his own trademark hairstyle that he currently wears hair plugs just to keep up appearances.
Bless his heart.
However, Michaels gave us a few hair scares—most recently in 2002 when he chopped most of his hair off en route to winning his first world championship in four years.
Michaels would eventually grow back his senses and and his hair shortly thereafter.
5. CM Punk Bleeds, Shaves, Evolves
CM Punk lost his hair after a bloody match against Rey Mysterio, but he has come into his own with the slick-back look he currently wears.
It was renegade blonde in ROH, Charles-Manson black in WWE, and now it's gone.
Thanks for the memories.
4. Edge Says Goodbye to You, Then His Do
Edge showed up to his own Hall-of-Fame ceremony looking more like The Edge from U2. He basically went full Chris Jericho once his wrestling career had officially wrapped, retiring both in the ring and from his blow dryer.
Now what's he going to violently run his fingers through before he hits the spear the next time WrestleMania is in Canada?
We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
3. Molly Holly Becomes a Baldy, Remains Inexplicably Adorable
Molly Holly's wholesome appeal was shaken to its foundation in one of the most iconic hair moments in WWE Divas history.
Following a loss to Victoria, Holly was forced to have her head shaved at WrestleMania XX.
Holly would go on to wear her hair short for the rest of her WWE career, and wear it she did.
2. Triple H Leaves Ranks of a Dying Breed, Cuts His Hair
For something as ceremonious as Triple H cutting his hair, to find out through the watermarked postings of a breaking news story on TMZ certainly was disappointing.
No phone call. No email. Not even a Dear John letter. Just a buzzed, corporate jerk posing with fans, hoping nobody would notice what easily became a story.
1. The Undertaker Shaves Head. Wears Wig. Shaves Wig
The Undertaker ambushed the WWE one year by cutting off most of his hair while reinventing himself as the American Badass.
After returning as the Undertaker proper, Taker pulled a similar stunt last year as photos surfaced of a bald Undertaker.
Taker returned to the WWE this past year wearing what clearly was a wig, and was quickly booked to cut his "hair" off as a promotional technique during his WrestleMania XXVIII feud with Triple H.
Taker's new mohawk is more Legion of Doom than Prince of Darkness. But such is life.
Follow Big Nasty on Twitter @ThisIsNasty and tweet some of your heartbreaking hair moments. We can all get through this. Together.