What I Loved and Hated in Week 1
Week 1’s five-day journey has come to a conclusion. If you’re embarrassed to discuss the amount of coffee (or other “beverages”) you consumed during this time, congratulations!
You did it up right out of the gate.
We weren’t treated to a plethora of great games, and the week’s biggest matchup was over shortly after it began. With all that said, football has returned, and your Saturdays are spoken for until further notice.
As for what transpired, there’s much to discuss. By now you know most of the outcomes, but perhaps you missed the finer nuggets of the weekend. As much as I wanted to include “Geno Smith’s box score,” that’s just too easy. It is a thing of beauty, though.
Here’s what I loved (football, football, football and more football) and hated in Week 1.
LOVED: Oregon’s Uniforms
"Let me touch it. It even FEELS fast!"
Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images
Is there any reason that the Ducks should have bright yellow headgear with wing mirror things on the side that can actually be seen from most space vehicles? Better yet, is there a reason that they shouldn’t? That’s what I thought.
Oregon’s continuously pushing the limits on your HD television, but thankfully you have that thing insured. As we’ve watched others attempt to be creative with their threads—and fail miserably—Oregon has this insane process down pat.
Use really bright colors, add in designs that we won’t question, use reflections (if necessary) and run faster than everyone. Check, check, check, check.
HATED: The Return of College Kickers
Hey, look! My shoelaces are... oh, damn. Missed again.
Doug Pensinger/Getty Images
It’s a new season of college football, and I’m proud to report that the kickers are still the ones you remember. Ah, please stop smiling. You’re only making this more difficult.
Sure, the new kickoff rules have these guys booming kicks through the end zones and some through the uprights, but don’t let that fool you. We saw missed field goals all weekend and even missed extra points were a theme.
UCLA saw three extra points blocked by the same 5’10”, 240-pound defender. That was a record for Rice linebacker Cameron Nwosu, and it’s also hilarious.
LOVED: This Kentucky Fan
It was a rough opener for Kentucky in their game against rival Louisville, but Big Blue Nation isn't going home without some love.
Meet: Kentucky fan who is incredibly excited about one of the limited positives to come from this game. He's so excited, he's going to give his friend a BIG high five. No, he wants this one to be even bigger.
I have watched this, especially in GIF form, probably a few hundred times already. I will probably watch it a few hundred more, and it will never be not funny.
HATED: The New Helmet Rule
Well, #$%^. Not again.
Andy Lyons/Getty Images
“Hate” is a strong word here, as I certainly understand the intent. For those of you that didn’t sit in front of your television all weekend, here's the gist.
If a player’s helmet comes off, they must sit out the very next play. It's that simple, and I never realized how often this happened. By late Saturday, however, I found myself yelling, "Oh COME ON" at the television as this recurring theme surfaced once again.
Helmets are going to come off—that’s part of the game. From a strategy standpoint and viewing experience, however, it was nothing short of a cluster [expletive deleted] at times. If the kids are safer because of this, great. I’m just not so sure what influence, if any, in terms of safety it will have.
In terms of my own selfish viewing experience, this was (and will continue to be) HATED.
LOVED: Brent Musburger's "Freudian" Slip
At one point during the Alabama-Michigan broadcast, everything went silent. As you cursed out your cable provider for being unreliable once again, a large grin developed on the face of Kirk Herbstreit.
The sound came back, Brent threw out that he had a “Freudian slip,” and the duo continued while giggling for a while. Oh, our minds wandered and the mystery was on. Well, it turns out that ol' Brent had problems saying the word "picks" and added on an "s" and dropped the "ck." Not horrible at all; in fact, I was hoping for much worse.
I was hoping he sang his favorite uncensored Lil Wayne lyric or, better yet, revealed who the “Bag Man” was and we all missed out. Maybe next time.
HATED: Michigan’s Uniforms
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
You can’t blame Saturday night’s beatdown on the dress Michigan wore to the ball, but this serves as a good opportunity to burn those uniforms and never speak of them again.
Seriously. It never happened. The fashion, the game—what loss? I don’t remember a loss?
Michigan has one of the cleanest, freshest looks in football, and there’s absolutely no reason they should be wearing Any Given Saturday hand-me-downs. It looked like that jersey your buddy found at a nearby thrift store that he justifies by saying, “But it has their logo on it.”
It sure does...it sure does.
LOVED: Devin Smith’s Ridiculous Touchdown Catch
Urban Meyer’s Ohio State debut started rocky. The team was sluggish in the first quarter, Braxton Miller looked like a different guy, and the offense looked completely out of sorts.
That changed, however, and Devin Smith’s touchdown grab opened the floodgates in rather outstanding fashion.
One hand, just like you used to do in the pool with the Nerf Vortex. Only in that scene, one of your friends throws into the neighbor’s yard and refuses to go get it. I couldn't stand that kid.
HATED: That I Love This Play so Much
We're getting tricky now, which is fitting for this play.
Meet Andre Parker, a Kent State linebacker that fielded a muffed punt against Towson on Thursday. This is really great news! Wait. No. Where are you going? Wait. Why are you trying to tackle him?
Fifty-eight yards later, Parker was tackled by the opposing team while going in the wrong direction. Fun experiment worth trying: Explain this play to a non-football fan (yes, they exist, unfortunately) and watch their response.
Scientists and historians will study this play for years wondering how we were so lucky to get such a treat.
LOVED: That the Largest Point Spread in History Was Right On
"You're welcome for the cover, guys."
Kevin Jairaj-US PRESSWIRE
Offshore sportsbooks posted a point spread late in the week on the Oklahoma State-Savannah State game, and it debuted at OK State (-67.5).
That's not a typo, the Cowboys were nearly a 10-touchdown favorite, which is the largest point spread in football history. For those curious, the previous record was 60 (Hawaii and Northern Colorado in 2007). You were curious, right?
As crazy as that line sounded, it simply was not enough. Oklahoma State cruised to an 84-0 win, covering the spread and giving those brave souls willing to bet such a ridiculous game a win.
Heads up, however. Savannah State plays Florida State in Week 2, and this record point spread may not last very long.
HATED: That This Man Wasn't Allowed More Camera Time
If you've never met "Jungle Bird" before, say hello. He's a simple man with simple tastes, and those simple tastes include drinking too much and getting on camera at some of the biggest events in the world. Like the US Open, for example.
His latest landing spot was none other than the Notre Dame-Navy game, and he took his talents to the Dublin field in style.
His Irish jig on the field was one of the very few watchable moments in this game, and they should have allowed him to proceed with this dance the entire second half.
Magnificent form, beautiful execution.